help me please. im contemplating suicide

[helpme1]

i know this sounds pathetic but my boyfriend just left me. he wont tell me why all he said was that we wouldnt last. i love him. he was my life. i cant stand to know that i will never hold him or kiss him again and that someone will eventually take my place. i really want to die but i cant stand to leave my mother behind. she suffers from depression too. ive been on 4 antidepressants. yesterday i was at my psychiatrist and she was going to put me on something else. ive recently taken prozac so i dont know if that has anything to do with it. i dont want to leave but im afraid i have to to spare my mother. i just cant take it. ive been crying since yesterday and i havent eaten. please someone help me deal with this.

 

[Emma]

Please don't consider suicide!!!!
I'm in the exact same spot you are in, I know it hurts to think that you won't ever get to hold him again or kiss him again.....but it does get easier in time...it's Ok to be sad and cry about him, but eventually you have to try and get back up again, you can always message me if you want to talk about it.

 

[helpme1]

thanks. its just so hard to take. part of me doesnt want to believe its true. i wish there was a way to get him back but i know hes gone forever.

 

[boston12]

**

 

[gkelly455]

I understand pain.

I am in a different position, I have been on antidepressendts for about 4 months intially they seem to work for me. But now i am very suicidle all I think about is death. I am Married have been for about 2 1/2 years , I was Married before for about 12 years. My first wife abandon me and our kids. Ran off and got pregnant by another man. I took it very hard, the thought of raising my kids without the mother was very hard for me , and my kids. I mopped for months and months, and divorced sometime sooner. I then meet someone who was everything I wanted in my life she has kids and seemed to be very family oriented so ended moving right in sometimes latter. Life was good for a while, but then we had differneces on how are kids was treated, she favored her kids, and wouldnt admit any wrong doing.
Eventually we decided to get Married, things got worst I became more depressed. I felt I fall for that old bait and switch. She pretended to be something she really wasn't . I am at the point where I am now and feel nothing but the feeling of wanting to die. I think about my youngest son and it breaks my heart I feel like he has no one besides myself, and I don't feel like I am any good for him. But I am all he has, otherwise if I know in my heart he would be taken care of I comtemplate taking my life. I am 6'3 black american male , I have been on both sides of the fence I know what it feels to feel hurt, and love , and broken trust. What has happen to this world? I am told I am every womens dream by my counselor, someone who is reponsible, someone who works hard, some who has goals.

 

[random]

HelpMe1,
I recall the overwhelming sensation of losing the only man I could ever love. It was like being held underwater. But - I did heal. I never believed I would but I did heal. You can too. Please let your psychiatrist know how you feel. Write down the number of a suicide prevention hotline now in case you need to talk to someone - or why not call now? I did heal - that wound where my heart was absolutely healed and I went on to find someone else to love - sounds impossible but it is true.

 

[random]

Re: I understand pain.

I am at the point where I am now and feel nothing but the feeling of wanting to die. I think about my youngest son and it breaks my heart I feel like he has no one besides myself, and I don't feel like I am any good for him. But I am all he has, otherwise if I know in my heart he would be taken care of I comtemplate taking my life. I am 6'3 black american male , I have been on both sides of the fence I know what it feels to feel hurt, and love , and broken trust. What has happen to this world? I am told I am every womens dream by my counselor, someone who is reponsible, someone who works hard, some who has goals.

gkelly455,
YOu are good for your son. Sons need their father very much - and being taken care of by someone else would never replace YOU in his eyes. I am so sorry about the pain and how you have suffered. Are you able to get counseling in addition to medication? Do those who prescribe your medicine understand that you are still in so much pain? Perhaps different medication and perhaps counseling? Do you have a spiritual faith of some kndn? Mine helps me with pain. Lately, as I struggle with pain (not as harsh as what you are going through but still I find it overwhelming) I log onto http://tlc.org/sermons/ and I look through the recordings for 2004, 2005, and 2006 to listen to sermons on suffering, hopelessness, discouragement etc. Some of them help me more than others - they often let me sleep at night.
You deserve to be happy; imagine getting past this pain and being happy again -and spending time with your boy - doing guy stuff. Hang on - don't leave him.
I do wonder about the world sometimes. I think there are many men and women with problems that they conceal when they get married because they want their spouse to heal them. The old bait and switch you refer to is, I think, based on the hope of the person pretending to be something they are not is that their spouse will make them actually become that person. When actually - they need to address their own problems.
I do believe your counselor is right but I really don't know how to explain why so many people get hurt. Hang in there - you can get through this horrible pain - there is hope in your future for you and your boy. Show your son how a man handles life when it really really hurts - show him how to perservere, and overcome, and get help (counseling, faith, friends, different medications etc.) when it's needed. *hugs*

 

[gkelly455]

Re: I understand pain.

I am at the point where I am now and feel nothing but the feeling of wanting to die. I think about my youngest son and it breaks my heart I feel like he has no one besides myself, and I don't feel like I am any good for him. But I am all he has, otherwise if I know in my heart he would be taken care of I comtemplate taking my life. I am 6'3 black american male , I have been on both sides of the fence I know what it feels to feel hurt, and love , and broken trust. What has happen to this world? I am told I am every womens dream by my counselor, someone who is reponsible, someone who works hard, some who has goals.

gkelly455,
YOu are good for your son. Sons need their father very much - and being taken care of by someone else would never replace YOU in his eyes. I am so sorry about the pain and how you have suffered. Are you able to get counseling in addition to medication? Do those who prescribe your medicine understand that you are still in so much pain? Perhaps different medication and perhaps counseling? Do you have a spiritual faith of some kndn? Mine helps me with pain. Lately, as I struggle with pain (not as harsh as what you are going through but still I find it overwhelming) I log onto http://tlc.org/sermons/ and I look through the recordings for 2004, 2005, and 2006 to listen to sermons on suffering, hopelessness, discouragement etc. Some of them help me more than others - they often let me sleep at night.
You deserve to be happy; imagine getting past this pain and being happy again -and spending time with your boy - doing guy stuff. Hang on - don't leave him.
I do wonder about the world sometimes. I think there are many men and women with problems that they conceal when they get married because they want their spouse to heal them. The old bait and switch you refer to is, I think, based on the hope of the person pretending to be something they are not is that their spouse will make them actually become that person. When actually - they need to address their own problems.
I do believe your counselor is right but I really don't know how to explain why so many people get hurt. Hang in there - you can get through this horrible pain - there is hope in your future for you and your boy. Show your son how a man handles life when it really really hurts - show him how to perservere, and overcome, and get help (counseling, faith, friends, different medications etc.) when it's needed. *hugs*

Thank you for your positive feedback, I am going to keep trying, but sometime all the pain get the best of me. Some time my spiritual believe is also overshodowed by the pain.