hello

Secret_Smile

Well-known member
#1
I know there are many threads like this so sorry if this post is repetative. I'm not doing it to intentionally annoy anyone at all.

I've just recently found out about Social Phobia (About 3 days ago to be exact) and was releived to finally be able to try put a name and an explaination to what was going wrong with me. It hasn't been diagnosed by anyone professional but I'm more than 90% sure I have this problem...this is partly why I'm here (and why this may sound repetative with other posts).
I was bullied in secondary school basically from when I first started. I was always a little shy but never to the extent it seems to have gotten too now. I got called alot of names by my peers as well as some physical bullying and the fear got worse over the years. I couldn't speak to anyone, put my hand up in class, walk down a busy corridor without wanting to cry because I thought eveyone was looking at me and that someone was going to do something.
I'm now 17 and in college and my life there in terms of being able to participate in lessons is terrible. Things were okay during the first few weeks there, I tried the 'new place new start' approach but that faded away and I'm back to feeling awful. I can't contribute to class discussions because I'm so scared of making my self look stupid. If any of my teachers even mention speaking aloud I start to panic, I feel sick, go red and feel even more anxious because I think people are looking at me. I've cried many times before and after speaking because I've been so scared. Even when I'm walking down the street, if anyone looks out the window or if people walk past me I hunch up and look down at the floor till I'm sure they've gone or are not looking at me. I can't call people on the phone and I can only answer if they are close family or freinds (Thanks to the wonder of caller I.D I know who's calling and who I know)
The reason I'm posting this is because I don't quite know what my next step should be. I'm terrorfied of the doctor but I'm supposed to be meeting with a councillor in college, this was set up before christmas thoughand I haven't had any notes back but I can't ask. I've shown my parents but they're just as clueless as me in trying to figure out the next step.
I'm really stuck and I don't know what to do about it, I'm not even 100% sure this is Social Anxiety.. Does anyone have any suggestions at all?

thank you for taking time to read this.I appologise for any spelling mistakes.

S xXx
 

richkid

Well-known member
#2
This seems typical of many on the forum thats why your post is valued here as people who are like myself starting to change things can give a little in sight.
I can't give you profeesional advice but i do know from experience whta your going through, fairly similar.

A few points to consider:

1) Understanding of what it is and what you do. This is the first place to start and I'm glad you've made it. Continue understanding it,try reading books, psychology or web sites like this. Wihtout this understandng you can't do much about it.
2) Change the way you think. Everyone has doubts and fears but people with SAD play on these thoughts excessivly. You thoughts may constatlybe negative, it doesn't have to be big your selfup alittle.
3) Change your behavior. By avioding social situations you just make things worse. FACE YOUR FEAR.
4) Practice makes perfect. try role playing social situations simple greetings or something you fell comfortable with. It doesn't have to be your parents maybe someone you find easy to talk to.
5) Don't treat it as a problem. As you said its nice to know that theres a name to the condition but it is by no means an excuse. You have to consider why you want to change and how you are going to do it. Make it more of a challenge with little task to expose yourself to feared situations and put a positive spin on it,see what really is happening.

Hope this helps
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#4
I'm 16 and a junior in high school. My social phobia isnt as bad as yours. I know who i am and i know who i used to be and i always try to keep that fresh in my mind. Maybe you've just been like this so long you cant remeber the real you anymore. I've realized that the minute i picture myself as this shy, pathetic, quiet, social phobic person, I get the anxiety real bad and really quick. You should do things like change your style, your hair, your look and try to feel good about yourself. Get support from your friends and never show the signs of anxiety. just imagine yourself as another person that doesnt have anxiety and is completely normal. This seems to work for me. It may be hard for you but you should try.. as soon as you have some successful social encounters it will be easier and it will boost your confidence.

I just moved and i see it as a fresh start for me. in my old school i had really bad social anxiety and i felt like everyone knew it and there was no hope for me to pull out of it. But at this new school nobody knows me and they don't know i have social anxiety.. for all they know im a normal person... so why can't i be? I try really hard to be myself and talk to ppl i don't know. It seems to be working and i've had a few really good conversations where i didn't show any signs of anxiety. Just try to find people with your same interests.. or maybe even join a social phobia therapy group.

I know the key to beating this is by getting out their and being social.
I hope you lots of luck... remember your only 17 you've still got a whole life to live!
 
Top