Hello

[Snowman]

Hello,

I'm a 45 year old man living in Toronto, Canada. I've suffered from some sort of social phobia for as long as I can remember; I just never remember not being nervous and unsure of myself in society. This has led to, among other things: alcoholism, ruined relationships, underemployment...the list goes on.

It seems to have gotten worse lately which is why I thought I'd join this forum. I went to get a haircut today and I was so shaky and sweating so much that the barber asked me if I was okay!

I'm wondering if there are any other people out there in my age group that still feel social anxiety. I thought it would get better as I got older, it seems to be getting worse!

Anyway, just thought I'd drop this note and see what happens.

Cheers,
Snowman

 

[Keara]

Hello Snowman. I am 30 and still suffer from social anxiety, as I have for my whole life. Some days I still feel like I can't leave the house and go certain places, or talk to certain people. Other times I can be quite chatty with "safe" people or sometimes strangers. Do you have any "safe" people who you feel comfortable talking to? I have also been underemployed, as you have been. I'm smart but have basically low self-esteem and job interviews freak me out. It's nice that they have this here for us to not feel so alone.

 

[Snowman]

Hi Keara,

Good to meet you. Sorry to hear that you still have social anxiety at 30; wish I could tell you it'll get better, but I can't. On the other hand, maybe you're different from me and you will get better with time, I really don't know anymore.

Do I have any "safe" people who I feel comfortable talking to? Not really. I always feel like I'm on stage whenever I'm talking to someone, especially when I'm talking to more than one person. Sounds really self-centered, I know.
I love days when I don't have to leave the apartment. I live in one of the greatest cities on earth, and most of the time I can't even get the courage to go to the museum or attend seminars on topics I'm interested in. Staying in just feels safe; the rest of the world is out there and I'm in here giving them the finger. I find that after a while, fear turns to anger, i.e. I get angry at the people I fear. A nasty spiral...

Today was Thanksgiving Day. Not much to be thankful for, I had pizza when I got home from work. On the other hand, maybe I am thankful that I didn't have to go to a dinner with anyone and sit there shaking like a leaf.

Guess there's an upside to everything,
Snowman

 

[Si]

Hello there snowman,
I'm Simon from new Zealand.I've just broken into the 40's this year and the social anxiety is no different to any other stage of my life.I also believe (sadly) that it is just a part of us for our whole lives and all we can do as we get older is try to manage our anxiety more wisely.I'm sorry to hear the drama that it causes you in your life.I think you definitely have a severe case.I think it is really cruel how it can effectively take away from you any chance of living a normal healthy social life.But as you can see you are not alone and there are many of us with many different aspects of social phobia.Reading through the posts you are sure to find people who live the same experiences as yourself.
So I wish you all the best and keep in touch.We are all here to support and help each other the best we can.Cheers, Simon

 

[Snowman]

Simon,

Thank you for your kind words. I've been feeling better for the last week because I'm on vacation and will be for another week. Finally, the chance to just relax and try to alleviate many of the sad feelings I've been having lately. I've been doing a lot of reading and playing computer games. The only time I've been anxious is when I have to leave the apartment for groceries, a haircut (I think I'll go to a different barber this time :roll, etc.

Maybe you're right, all we can do is deal with our phobia and, in my case depression, in a different, hopefully better manner as we grow older.

I hope you're doing well and wish you the best.

Snowman

 

[maggie]

Hello,

I'm a 45 year old man living in Toronto, Canada. I've suffered from some sort of social phobia for as long as I can remember; I just never remember not being nervous and unsure of myself in society. This has led to, among other things: alcoholism, ruined relationships, underemployment...the list goes on.

It seems to have gotten worse lately which is why I thought I'd join this forum. I went to get a haircut today and I was so shaky and sweating so much that the barber asked me if I was okay!

I'm wondering if there are any other people out there in my age group that still feel social anxiety. I thought it would get better as I got older, it seems to be getting worse! hey Snowman..welcome and..i love your name :!: ..like you, i don't remember a time when i wasn't nervous and unsure of myself..i've always known what i felt was much worse than just shyness..but it seems to go in waves for me, where at some points in my life it's worse than others...and right now it's probably the worst it's ever been...not sure why :roll:
Anyway, just thought I'd drop this note and see what happens.

Cheers,
Snowman

 

[maggie]

hey Snowman..i kinda posted weird just before...right in the middle of your post..not sure how i pulled that off but anyway, welcome to the site and...i love your name :!:

 

[bashfulgirl]

Hey Snowman.
I am 42 so right behind you. I have severe SP and always thot that someday when I was 20, someday when I was 30, someday when I was 40, I'd be better and normal. Like you mine has gotten worse instead of better and each depression seems a little deeper. Now I guess I need to think, someday when I'm 50... :lol: There are some others in there 40's here and on other similar websites. We are not alone.