Hebidoshi
New member
I'm so glad I found this site. For my whole life I thought I just was unlucky and was abnormally shy, but ever since the start of High School I've known something was wrong (I'm a freshman now).
I constantly feel like I'm being judged. The first day of school I was freaking out because I was almost late for a class, and if I was late I would have to walk in the class and have people look at me.
I quit marching band partially because we had constant tests, and I didn't want to screw up in front of the teachers, or look stupid (marching band is one of the things on a longggg list of things I quit because of SP). I almost transfered into Latin just so I wouldn't have speaking tests, like I will have in French. I won't ride my bike to school, which would be easier and faster, because I'm bad at stopping and starting and I don't want to look dumb at the crosswalk.
I feel really out of place at the pet store I volunteer at when the other volunteers are around. They all think I'm a freak since I never talk to anyone, and I do the work on the animals instead of things requiring social interaction.
All in all, its a real problem and I'm sick of it. I have friends, but all my friends I met through other friends, or because they talked to me first, and continued to instigate conversation. The only time I'm not plagued by SP is if I'm with my really good friend, and I still have my share of SP moments with her. I've only told that friend about SP, and she just thinks I'm complaining, or looking for a scapegoat for the way I act.
My parents are dead set on believing that I don't have SP and am perfectly normal. I'm currently working on getting enough courage to arrange something with the school councilor.
I'm motivated to work really hard, because I really want to do an exchange year after high school (languages are my passion), and theres no way I'll be able to stand living with another family or being in new situations, looking VERY stupid, unless I can handle it. Yes, that is my goal. I also want to try to get into another competitive sport.
Nice to meet you all, hope I can find some methods of handling SP that work for me here. Sorry this was really long lol.
I constantly feel like I'm being judged. The first day of school I was freaking out because I was almost late for a class, and if I was late I would have to walk in the class and have people look at me.
I quit marching band partially because we had constant tests, and I didn't want to screw up in front of the teachers, or look stupid (marching band is one of the things on a longggg list of things I quit because of SP). I almost transfered into Latin just so I wouldn't have speaking tests, like I will have in French. I won't ride my bike to school, which would be easier and faster, because I'm bad at stopping and starting and I don't want to look dumb at the crosswalk.
I feel really out of place at the pet store I volunteer at when the other volunteers are around. They all think I'm a freak since I never talk to anyone, and I do the work on the animals instead of things requiring social interaction.
All in all, its a real problem and I'm sick of it. I have friends, but all my friends I met through other friends, or because they talked to me first, and continued to instigate conversation. The only time I'm not plagued by SP is if I'm with my really good friend, and I still have my share of SP moments with her. I've only told that friend about SP, and she just thinks I'm complaining, or looking for a scapegoat for the way I act.
My parents are dead set on believing that I don't have SP and am perfectly normal. I'm currently working on getting enough courage to arrange something with the school councilor.
I'm motivated to work really hard, because I really want to do an exchange year after high school (languages are my passion), and theres no way I'll be able to stand living with another family or being in new situations, looking VERY stupid, unless I can handle it. Yes, that is my goal. I also want to try to get into another competitive sport.
Nice to meet you all, hope I can find some methods of handling SP that work for me here. Sorry this was really long lol.