stavroski
New member
Posted this in the main forum, but since I'm from the UK thought I'd put it in here as well
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I guess I better introduce myself, as I've been hanging around here for a while and have not posted until now. I'm 29 and am married, I work in an office doing IT Network Support for a large firm and for as long as I can remember have had social anxiety symptoms. I am by no means completely outoing, but am also not exactly shy and can usually converse one on one with people without them knowing about my issues as I have become good at hiding them when I am not feeling too bad. However, when in a group situation, a meeting / presentation or other similar type of scenario I feel myself unable to deal with things, and have been know on occassions in the past to make a complete fool out of myself. Without giving you a history of my life from the year dot, I am progressively getting worse to the point now where I actively avoid the following situations:
1. Will not go around to other peoples houses, because I will be expected to sit around and make polite conversation, which to be frank fills me with dread, even if it is only two or three other people present.
2. Will also avoid having to eat in front of other people other than my closest friends / relatives.
3. Will absolutely avoid going to meetings in work, or anything else where I am expected to speak in front of people for fear of makin a show of myself.
I know for me that constant exposure is not the answer, becuase I have done a fair share of speaking at weddings / meetings and I do not get any better; rather worse with fear and worry the older I get; the same with going to visit people in their homes - we did this a few months ago with my wife family, and I thought I was okay until we got there, then the panic started and I was unable to get rid of it, and made nonsensical comments due to the nervousness I was feeling.
I have in a couple of weeks a departmental meeting coming up in work; one in which I will be expected to contribute due to a number of high profile projects I am working on. I feel sickened by the very thought of it, as I know from now until then I will be worrying about it and will not be able to get it out of my head. No matter how much planning I do, regardless of how many hours I spend, I will still be completely incapable of delivering anything becuase of the symptoms I get of fast heart beat, shortness of breath etc... which totally get in the way of speaking normally to people. It's really frustrating having this, as normally I would not have any issue with explaining or articulating myself when not under the spotlight in the situations I find threatening.
I am really at the end of my tether, having been to the doctors I am awaiting a referral to a speacialist for this, however am not confident in our fabulous national health services ability to sort me out, as it has taken them nigh on 4 months to fax this letter over to the hospital from my own GP. I have also in the past been to see a counselor which was a complete waste of time; I ended up going along with her becuase she was nice and elderly, and didn't have the heart to tell her she was useless and not helping me at all.
Sorry about the length of this post, but I need to get this off my chest; has anyone with similar symptoms spoken to people in work about it? I am tempted to speak with my Team Leader about my problems in the hope that I will be able to get out of contributing in the meeting; however in the long term this doesn't help me overcome my issues and I am also worried that this could block me progressing in my career where I am.
I am also thinking of giving this place a try and wondered whether anyone had any experiences with them:
http://www.phobiaclinic.co.uk
From looking it seems to be exactly what I'm after, however I am also skeptical but at this point in my life I am feeling desperate and will do whatever it takes to sort this out..... I wish that I could stay at home forever where I am in control of things, I would have my cats my wife, and the piano which is everything I need (apart from money for the bills)....
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I guess I better introduce myself, as I've been hanging around here for a while and have not posted until now. I'm 29 and am married, I work in an office doing IT Network Support for a large firm and for as long as I can remember have had social anxiety symptoms. I am by no means completely outoing, but am also not exactly shy and can usually converse one on one with people without them knowing about my issues as I have become good at hiding them when I am not feeling too bad. However, when in a group situation, a meeting / presentation or other similar type of scenario I feel myself unable to deal with things, and have been know on occassions in the past to make a complete fool out of myself. Without giving you a history of my life from the year dot, I am progressively getting worse to the point now where I actively avoid the following situations:
1. Will not go around to other peoples houses, because I will be expected to sit around and make polite conversation, which to be frank fills me with dread, even if it is only two or three other people present.
2. Will also avoid having to eat in front of other people other than my closest friends / relatives.
3. Will absolutely avoid going to meetings in work, or anything else where I am expected to speak in front of people for fear of makin a show of myself.
I know for me that constant exposure is not the answer, becuase I have done a fair share of speaking at weddings / meetings and I do not get any better; rather worse with fear and worry the older I get; the same with going to visit people in their homes - we did this a few months ago with my wife family, and I thought I was okay until we got there, then the panic started and I was unable to get rid of it, and made nonsensical comments due to the nervousness I was feeling.
I have in a couple of weeks a departmental meeting coming up in work; one in which I will be expected to contribute due to a number of high profile projects I am working on. I feel sickened by the very thought of it, as I know from now until then I will be worrying about it and will not be able to get it out of my head. No matter how much planning I do, regardless of how many hours I spend, I will still be completely incapable of delivering anything becuase of the symptoms I get of fast heart beat, shortness of breath etc... which totally get in the way of speaking normally to people. It's really frustrating having this, as normally I would not have any issue with explaining or articulating myself when not under the spotlight in the situations I find threatening.
I am really at the end of my tether, having been to the doctors I am awaiting a referral to a speacialist for this, however am not confident in our fabulous national health services ability to sort me out, as it has taken them nigh on 4 months to fax this letter over to the hospital from my own GP. I have also in the past been to see a counselor which was a complete waste of time; I ended up going along with her becuase she was nice and elderly, and didn't have the heart to tell her she was useless and not helping me at all.
Sorry about the length of this post, but I need to get this off my chest; has anyone with similar symptoms spoken to people in work about it? I am tempted to speak with my Team Leader about my problems in the hope that I will be able to get out of contributing in the meeting; however in the long term this doesn't help me overcome my issues and I am also worried that this could block me progressing in my career where I am.
I am also thinking of giving this place a try and wondered whether anyone had any experiences with them:
http://www.phobiaclinic.co.uk
From looking it seems to be exactly what I'm after, however I am also skeptical but at this point in my life I am feeling desperate and will do whatever it takes to sort this out..... I wish that I could stay at home forever where I am in control of things, I would have my cats my wife, and the piano which is everything I need (apart from money for the bills)....