I am 33 now and only starting to face up to my problems. The layers to my condition seem so numerous I struggle to know what the hell is wrong with me. I believe my condition was caused by narcotic abuse from a young age, LSD from 13 years old along with every other type of drug on the way. I pretty much mentally colapsed at around 23 and moved to a different place where for a year or more I holed up in a dingy flat with an X-box, then went working in denmark where i have now stayed for 8 years. I have been a problem drinker all my life but now the social phobia, paranoia , Ocd whatever the hell it is has worsened to a degree that i have given it up. I used to be fairly controled and just on a stool minding my own business but now its like everyone is looking at me judging me, on more than one occasion this has caused me to explode, i have picked up tables, chairs and throw them on more than one occasion, its like i dont know how to act, communicate laugh and joke, I look at other people and wish i did not have this searing self conciousness, I now avoid people at all costs, i have been unable to go home and visit my parents for 10 years due to the fear of meeting people from back home, i feel i have nothing to talk about and just sit twitching like a retard, this feeds itself and people do start saying im weird. Im lucky to have a wonderful girlfriend here in denmark but am terrified she will leave once my condition comes to light, i have lived here seven years and do not speak any danish and can now see i have not learned bacause i dint want to talk to people. In speaking i usually can only ask or answer questions, and tell a few brief storys as soon as stop talking i start the obbsessive thinking, there is much more, i realise this is very rambled.
Hello all
- Thread starter david p
- Start date
upndwn
Well-known member
Hi, welcome to SPW David 
I grew up with a father who is a drug addict and an alcoholic, mostly because of a really messed up childhood. I believe my own problems came from the fact that I really didn't have any stability growing up, and I had to look after my parents rather then the other way around.
Have you sought professional help? For me it has taken 18 years of therapy and drug treatment to get to a point when I am able to function at all. Although I've never divulged into drug or alcohol abuse myself I do know that it is easy to self-medicate to get an escape from the hell that SA/SP and similar disorders causes.
I hope you get better and I think you will find a lot of understanding and support on this site. I know that I have. Good luck
I grew up with a father who is a drug addict and an alcoholic, mostly because of a really messed up childhood. I believe my own problems came from the fact that I really didn't have any stability growing up, and I had to look after my parents rather then the other way around.
Have you sought professional help? For me it has taken 18 years of therapy and drug treatment to get to a point when I am able to function at all. Although I've never divulged into drug or alcohol abuse myself I do know that it is easy to self-medicate to get an escape from the hell that SA/SP and similar disorders causes.
I hope you get better and I think you will find a lot of understanding and support on this site. I know that I have. Good luck
Hey David , welcome
I did some pretty strong stuff as a teenager and had some terrible experiences on multiple occasions , and sometime wondered if it contributed to my anxiety by messing up my brain , but thinking about it i was shy as a kid , and self conscious about my appearance at a very young age already .
I did some pretty strong stuff as a teenager and had some terrible experiences on multiple occasions , and sometime wondered if it contributed to my anxiety by messing up my brain , but thinking about it i was shy as a kid , and self conscious about my appearance at a very young age already .
