paintedblue
Well-known member
Hey there all. I actually joined this site a few years back, but lo behold my social anxiety was too much for me to even post about my problems and experiences online:shyness:. I am determined to beat this however. I definitely think it can be beat. So I'm back to seek support and hopefully provide support as well.
Recently I came to a realization. A perhaps obvious but immensely valuable realization. I have been living my life all wrong; I cared too much what people thought of me. This entire time I have been putting too much emphasis on other people's thoughts, on what other people might think of me. And everything for me, all social shortcomings, anxieties, isolation, depression, all the 'problems' i've been seeking help for all these years were but symptoms or byproducts of this very simple fact. I've been trapped in my own head, over thinking, letting myself be led by the notion that other people were judging me. And my behavior would then be altered to match what i wrongly perceived as the "right thing to do" to be is some way accepted by the other person.In other words I was no longer natural and spontaneous, but living in this other world of constant watching, constant awareness of my actions, anxious all the time. No way to live.:kickingmyself: (I'm hoping this all makes sense, I'm not too good at communicating) This lack of spontaneity comes across to people, and it makes things worse. No longer a naturally acting person, people sense this and distance themselves. This is why, i think I've been a loner. My sensitivity to other people, my awareness of what they might think of me was just too high. I don't really know why I became this way, frankly i don't care. Its in the past.
The challenge now is to learn, to reprogram my brain to stop this neurotic behavior, to become natural and spontaneous again, to not give a hoot about what anyone thinks of says about me:bigsmile: to express myself and let my true personality come through. Only then will I begin to enjoy myself in social settings. Anyone out there with similar experience?
Recently I came to a realization. A perhaps obvious but immensely valuable realization. I have been living my life all wrong; I cared too much what people thought of me. This entire time I have been putting too much emphasis on other people's thoughts, on what other people might think of me. And everything for me, all social shortcomings, anxieties, isolation, depression, all the 'problems' i've been seeking help for all these years were but symptoms or byproducts of this very simple fact. I've been trapped in my own head, over thinking, letting myself be led by the notion that other people were judging me. And my behavior would then be altered to match what i wrongly perceived as the "right thing to do" to be is some way accepted by the other person.In other words I was no longer natural and spontaneous, but living in this other world of constant watching, constant awareness of my actions, anxious all the time. No way to live.:kickingmyself: (I'm hoping this all makes sense, I'm not too good at communicating) This lack of spontaneity comes across to people, and it makes things worse. No longer a naturally acting person, people sense this and distance themselves. This is why, i think I've been a loner. My sensitivity to other people, my awareness of what they might think of me was just too high. I don't really know why I became this way, frankly i don't care. Its in the past.
The challenge now is to learn, to reprogram my brain to stop this neurotic behavior, to become natural and spontaneous again, to not give a hoot about what anyone thinks of says about me:bigsmile: to express myself and let my true personality come through. Only then will I begin to enjoy myself in social settings. Anyone out there with similar experience?
