Having a boyfriend + social anxiety...

[barrelandro]

Hi there!

So i am with my boyfriend for 1,5 years now. If he is with me, everything seems great. When he is gone, he is out, he is at work..i feel anxious. Sometimes when i havn't heard from him in 3 days..like now, then i am thinking. '' oh oh he doens't want me anymore, or that he has someone else''. It's driving me nuts...because it's hard for me to trust him as well probably because of my anxiety...It seems my whole life IS my boyfriend...so stupid.

Anyone else with the same problem with his or her boyfriend/girlfriend? And have some tips to chill down and not panic soo much?

 

[Kinetik]

I often have this same problem - whenever I have a girlfriend she becomes the only thing in my life. If she's not around, I do almost nothing because I don't feel comfortable doing things alone. I also obsess over what she gets up to, though I will constantly tell her that I'm okay with everything. It's like I'm lying to myself by telling her I'm fine with it all, because I know that my crazy feelings aren't reasonable.

In general, I think it's best to give your partner as much freedom as possible. I find that the more we fear something, the more likely it is to happen, so try not to begrudge him his space. I am sure that if you are accepting and supportive of him, he'll want to be around you more, so I think it will actually work in your favour if you're able to relax about it all. Maybe you could try thinking of some nice things to do with your alone-time; take a hot bath, listen to music, anything to de-stress. Exercise works great as well. If you can amuse yourself like this, you can take your mind off your boyfriend for a while. If you really need to know what he's up to, you can always just send him a nice text or something, just to let him know you're thinking about him. Saying "I miss you" will always work better than being overly possessive.