steviegerrard489
Well-known member
..I guess because the summer is here which tends to highlight how isolated I am.
I left work today quite late this evening after most people had left to go meet friends somewhere. My isolation tends to hit home when I'm walking past crowded pubs with people enjoying the start of summer here in London. Unfortunately for me I just head home to my empty flat.
A few things are depressing me at this moment in time. Basically I know this girl I used to work with who was single but now I know she is seeing this guy. I wish it could have been me even though deep down I didn't stand a chance. At least she has moved to a different office so I'm not constantly reminded.
The other people in my office. Most of them are married or have partners. I feel like they look at me with pity.
I was invited to this guy's birthday party at a bar tomorrow night. I kind of declined as we are not very chatty and I don't really know most of his friends. However, I would have known some of the other people there who I work with. I could still go but I will wait to see how I feel tomorrow.
Someone else in the office invited most of the younger staff (ie the 20-35 yr olds) to a barbeque at their house. I wasn't invited and the only reason I found out was because the guy who sits behind me asked if I was going. Not his fault really but he went quiet when he realised I wasn't on the circulation list and hadn't received the email!
Last sunday I was stood up by a girl who said she would come to a comedy show with me. It wasn't a date but she rang me half an hour before the show to say she had forgotten and couldn't get there in time. So instead I had to sit through the show by myself looking like a bit of a loser.
I'll be 30 years old at the end of this year and the sudden realisation that I'm highly unlikely to ever get married is begining to hit home.. Not a pleasant thought I can tell you.
I left work today quite late this evening after most people had left to go meet friends somewhere. My isolation tends to hit home when I'm walking past crowded pubs with people enjoying the start of summer here in London. Unfortunately for me I just head home to my empty flat.
A few things are depressing me at this moment in time. Basically I know this girl I used to work with who was single but now I know she is seeing this guy. I wish it could have been me even though deep down I didn't stand a chance. At least she has moved to a different office so I'm not constantly reminded.
The other people in my office. Most of them are married or have partners. I feel like they look at me with pity.
I was invited to this guy's birthday party at a bar tomorrow night. I kind of declined as we are not very chatty and I don't really know most of his friends. However, I would have known some of the other people there who I work with. I could still go but I will wait to see how I feel tomorrow.
Someone else in the office invited most of the younger staff (ie the 20-35 yr olds) to a barbeque at their house. I wasn't invited and the only reason I found out was because the guy who sits behind me asked if I was going. Not his fault really but he went quiet when he realised I wasn't on the circulation list and hadn't received the email!
Last sunday I was stood up by a girl who said she would come to a comedy show with me. It wasn't a date but she rang me half an hour before the show to say she had forgotten and couldn't get there in time. So instead I had to sit through the show by myself looking like a bit of a loser.
I'll be 30 years old at the end of this year and the sudden realisation that I'm highly unlikely to ever get married is begining to hit home.. Not a pleasant thought I can tell you.
