Has anything helped?

Sadie_896

Sadie_896

New member
I was just wondering what are some good ways to help reduce social anxiety? My therapist told me that the best way to overcome SA is to put myself in social situations more frequently, but she doesn't really give me any advice about managing my anxiety once I am in these situations. Any good techniques to help calm down and not get so nervous?
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
Its as easy as not caring at all about other peoples inner thoughts..

it is that simple ..in what they look like, in how they talk, how much they talk, how popular or unpopular they are, the list goes on ...

you have to zone out the people around you and approach every conversation by using deep thinking if you want proper discussions and whatever pops into your head on the spur as well, neither are necessarally more appropiate then the other though, so take your time if you like when someone asks you a question or even rattles off a joke or feel silly enough to say whatever comes first, dont expect that you have to respond within a milli second of them talking to you ...

most people will talk about themselves and their own interests because it resinates a confidence in them that can switch on banter that extends beyond hello, how are you, did you watch this show, sport ...

try and relax yourself and take your time ...

Also do you read alot? i dont know if it works for you but reading can enhance your memory and your vocabulary, your ability to think on the spot because paragraphs or lines of quotes and text can appear in your mind more often rather then going blank ..

show a fleeting interest in the news and learn as much as you can, it all helps with talking to people ...

i really dont know how else to say it, it is that simple ..

i'm not saying i'm an expert at all but the years when i didnt have any social anxiety that is how i felt, i just did not give a flying iguana what people thought of me and was able to zone in and out

but yeh you will need practice though it doesn't mean it'll take you a long time to get over this anxiety, it may take 3 or 4 goes and you'll improve and build on the momentum quickly ...

now regarding relaxing, if you feel like being around groups of people is really daunting try breathing in fast and out slowly and repeat that, i'd even recommend drinking and you won't become an alcoholic by doing this because everyone can control themselves, but people who become alco's are too weak to say "no" if its too much, just control your intake ...because it makes you tipsy and zones you out of your self conscious state which can have its benefits ...

alcohol can trigger your fun side to come out more often, if thats how you want to approach it, but using that method is instant the best way is too just teach yourself over time without that, i watch comedies, listen to audio books, that triggers me to be a sillybuns sometimes. ..
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
I find the most difficult scenarios are around really loud "show off", big ego types the ones that have an answer for every single word another person says and they also talk over you and everyone else to get attention with arrogance and are very one-eyed in their opinions, it usually comes from alpha-male super confident men, but to me its not cool to act this way because its a form of ADD that annoys most people, except leaches who like to hang around the big mouths ..big mouth strikes again etc ....

i know alot of people like this and i try and avoid them which seems harsh but i just don't have time for people like that, and its not aimed at peple who talk alot

i know that contradicts zoning out other people but it still irritates me to the core and i find situations where you have 2 or more of those types of personalities sitting near you at a party or anywhere, they will be domineering and controlling, and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth ..

i'm still trying to figure out how to react in those situations, just to be myself i suppose
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
distract yourself from thinking to hard about your minor problems which are never as bad as they seem by taking up as many hobbies as you can will replace the potential time spent sitting around and thinking about "why can't i do this or that", which many people do, i'm not saying you do that but again it helps ...

and if you find yourself sitting around placing a magnifying glass over your inadequeces and thinking alot, start telling yourself that you are a brilliant being of this earth and that life is a walk in the park,

practice practice practice ...

distractions and so forth
 
ripewithdecay

ripewithdecay

Well-known member
Yeah, distractions are a great way to control your anxiety.
The first thing you want to do is observe the negative thoughts popping up in your mind, but instead of letting them continue to fester, try to divert your thoughts away from it. A good technique is to think about a song, or better yet hum along to one. That uses a different portion of your brain than the part causing all the anxiety. It takes a lot of persistance though.

Another technique is to conciously tell your brain to slow down your speech. Take a deep breath, and just slightly talk slower, remember to think about the words slowly in your brain first before you speak them.
This can take practice, i recommend reading out loud to yourself at home everyday. No one will notice you've slowed down, but you'll sound way clearer. Also, talk from your gut, imagine the words coming from your stomach and not your throat, till you can feel that little vibration in your diaphragm or whatever ya call it. It'll help keep you relaxed and in control of your speech.

Those two things coupled together have helped me tons, and you would learn them probably if you took a CBT program.
 
sketchy24

sketchy24

Well-known member
Well I've been at my job almost two years and while I still have problems communicating at times, I'm MUCH better than I was when I started. Even if I'm feeling uncomfortable, it doesn't really bother me, I just shrug and go oh well. I don't stress out over much any more. There is a lot of required interaction job wise so thats pretty much what helped. Talking about personal life or something, I have a hard time with but I'm opening up more and more. People are noticing the change too. My supervisor was jokingly tells me I must be getting brave cause I yelled her name out as she was walking away after she didn't respond the first few times (I have a real quiet voice). Sure I do stupid stuff and I think half the people see me as a retard but I don't really let it bother me. I don't try to make friends or be perfect anymore and I've become much more comfortable.

I still feel depressed and all but mostly cause I don't really have anything to do when I'm not at work (which I hate btw). No real friends still but I can carry myself better at least. I dunno I'm getting better though I think. Better than I was this time last year at least :D But ya constant exposure, constant interaction helps. Its uncomfortable at first but after a year or two, you're finally used to hte people where it doesn't really bother you much anymore.
 
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