Harassed on a forum?

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BiohazardWolf

New member
I need some help.
(Note: I did not use names/locations/aliases in my vent thread that was stupid of me to post).
I was a member of a site where you could post and communicate with 'models'. I had a really bad photoshoot with a creep and wrote a venting thread about it, which turned into unsolicited critique on why I suck and should have low standards because I have no talent, and a bunch of other hate mail etc. I deleted my account and wiped everything from there because I DO NOT like getting hate mail.
They than started making fun of me saying I left because I wasn't being coddled and I'm weak. I left because I don't stand for being on a site where I am getting hate mail and threats.

As far as I know, they even went to my photographer (a different one) and harassed him, to where his profile is no longer on that site. He deleted it, which is strange because he had paid for a premium account and had a lot of business through it. I really hope that is not the case. I hope they didn't start harassing him for photographing me. (The site is notorious for having a community who WILL do that. There were many complaints and reports even with the BBB because the site is poorly run by evil, despicable people).

I don't know what to do. Should I email my ex-photographer and ask him if that was why he deleted his account, or should I just leave it alone and leave it behind me? Also, how do I feel better about myself knowing I was being ripped into?

(I'm moving 1,000 miles away in two weeks, so I'd like to leave this behind me along with my previous problems). Thanks for any help, I appreciate it..
 
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Odo

Odo

Banned
So wait.. you publicly attacked someone in an industry where people's reputations are essential to their job?!

It's one thing if you do it anonymously on a site like this or 4chan or something, but if you're doing it on a site where people are going to know who you are and know who you worked with, and furthermore, it's going to affect someone's ability to make a living or potentially undermine their future working relationships, then you're 100% guaranteed a backlash worse than you would ever get elsewhere, and it's going to carry over into the real world as well.

It wouldn't surprise me if word had gotten around... maybe the guy you badmouthed had powerful friends in the industry? If you don't have a reputation/are starting out/don't have powerful friends and he does, then you're going to lose that battle and probably work as well.

Even if you were 100% in the right in this situation, it doesn't matter. I would say your only hope is to apologize and show some humility... or I guess you could just forget about it and try to start over wherever you eventually end up.
 
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BiohazardWolf

New member
Odo said:
So wait.. you publicly attacked someone in an industry where people's reputations are essential to their job?!

It's one thing if you do it anonymously on a site like this or 4chan or something, but if you're doing it on a site where people are going to know who you are and know who you worked with, and furthermore, it's going to affect someone's ability to make a living or potentially undermine their future working relationships, then you're 100% guaranteed a backlash worse than you would ever get elsewhere, and it's going to carry over into the real world as well.

It wouldn't surprise me if word had gotten around... maybe the guy you badmouthed had powerful friends in the industry? If you don't have a reputation/are starting out/don't have powerful friends and he does, then you're going to lose that battle and probably work as well.

Even if you were 100% in the right in this situation, it doesn't matter. I would say your only hope is to apologize and show some humility... or I guess you could just forget about it and try to start over wherever you eventually end up.
Click to expand...


No.. I didn't I must have not worded that right. I didn't publicly shame anyone, use any names, locations or anything because I don't do that. I just said what happened, not where or by whom. He is also not well known and he doesn't know I said anything. In fact he still wants to work with me but I'm out of the business. I don't like it very much.


No one was named. Period.
My reputation is fine because I know how to clear things up and keep private. His reputation is fine. Those people don't even know my name, but that doesn't excuse the harm they did.
 
Odo

Odo

Banned
No... that's okay. And I'm sorry-- I thought you were talking about a networking site or something, not just a regular online forum for people who just happen to models!

Yeah, people can be really ****y online. But if nobody knows it was you and nobody knows who you were talking about, you should be fine... actually, I would just laugh it off and not go back to that site... you don't need that in your life!

I haven't really experienced what you did but online forums can be worse than high school, especially if the mods suck. I've quit a few. It can be stressful at first, especially if you're socially isolated but after a while you probably won't even think about it anymore.

My no-fail method of quitting a site is typing some random letters into a word file, then cutting and pasting that as my new password, then not saving the word file.... that way you're pretty much permanently locked out of your account.
 
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Feathers

Well-known member
Sorry to hear about the forum drama, it can be stressful.

Maybe take it as 'one more experience' and find nicer forums to post to?
Even if this one experience was bad, maybe you could still have some good experiences with photography and such? Be careful about what you write and where, some venting posts can be misunderstood...

Take care & hope the move and all goes well!!
 
Goblinko

Goblinko

Active member
It's always good to start over anew and leave the past behind.

Good luck and success in your new place. :thumbup:
 
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