hanging out with friends

[Isolated_Writer]

so, i'm new here. I wanted to talk to other people with social anxiety about friends. I know a lot of people, I'm not shy but i don't really like spending time with them outside school (even at school i spend very little time with people)

The other day, a person i think is pretty cool and almost a friend (maybe we are friends, i am bad at figuring that out) asked if i wanted to hang out after school. I would like to but i have a hard time saying yes to questions like that and get really drained after an hour or so of social interaction. So, i made up an excuse to get out of it.

Do you have advice on situations like this? Is it weird if i tell her about my anxiety? I can't remember the last time sombody besides my two friends (who i've known forever) as asked to hang out with me and i would like to get out of the house. Thanks.

 

[surewhynot]

You seem to simply be introverted. I can totally relate. Like, I do enjoy hanging out with people, but I just don't have a lot of social energy, I quickly get tired of being around people and just want to go back home and listen to music or watch a movie. Some people can even get pretty judgmental when I have to always leave early, but that's just the way I am ):

I don't know if there are any ways to make you more extroverted. I mean, that's just part of our personality :/

 

[Isolated_Writer]

I guess, i feel really uncomfortable in situations with people around my age. I get the same thing when i leave events early because i can't take being around people anymore but people don't understand. I want my potential friends to understand but don't want to scare them away

 

[MikeyC]

Yeah, you just sound introverted. Declining offers to hang out after school all the time will mean people will stop asking, and that could make you lonelier.

I know you get drained after too much interaction - so do I - but you've got to make a sacrifice.

 

[Isolated_Writer]

the thing is, i'm not introverted in the typical sense. I am loud, i'm not shy. Just like everyone else, i have my good times and bad times. in good times, i get super flustered and make excuses when i have to interact with people. I bad times i stay at home for weeks.

 

[MikeyC]

You've still got to make sacrifices against your will. I have done that so many times, but that is what we need to do for our friends.

Nothing wrong with alone-time, but every now and again go out and hang out with someone, even if it's just lunch or going for a walk or whatever. You might even enjoy it.

 

[Isolated_Writer]

thanks.