hardy
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Guilt and Tendencies towards Negativity, by Ajahn Sumedho
It is interesting that there are now all kinds of stress reduction programmes; people are aware of stress and tension in society. A modern life is a very stressful one and things move too quickly for us, actually. We’re propelled through high technology and a fast-lane type of life whether we like it or not, and this does affect us. We get a sense of this kind of driven quality, this quality that makes us very restless, and we tend to distract ourselves endlessly. This then creates tension and stress and when we do this to the body, the body stops. It can’t take it any more and starts creating problems for us. Relaxation is therefore something that is encouraged now very much in our society, just on a popular, worldly level.
I was listening to a tape of a woman teaching relaxation. She says that now you can’t even use the word ‘relaxation’ because people try to relax, so she uses a tone of voice more to convey that, ‘Soothing . . .’ But these are just expedient methods. Words and techniques are meant to help us; they are not commands or things that we obsess ourselves with. Any kind of meditation technique or even the words that we use are not to be taken as commandments, like commanding us to relax: RELAX! In terms of stress reduction that doesn’t help very much. In terms of a word that gives a message, what does ‘relaxation’ mean? Not that I can tell you how you should translate this word or what it can be for you, but it is pointing to our ability to let go and let life be—let go of these attitudes, let go of these compulsive obsessive tendencies of feeling we’ve got to do something, ‘I’ve got to get something I don’t have. I’ve got to get rid of things that I shouldn’t have.’ These are subconscious influences. Geshe-la [Geshe Tashi Tsering] was saying last night that these underlying influences are so deep that we don’t even notice them. That is why the word ‘relax’ can be taken as, ‘He says I have to relax. I should be able to relax, but I can’t. So what’s wrong with me?’
We can just allow things to be the way they are, allow tension to be. Even if you are stressed out, you can allow it, you can let it be the way it is. You can allow whatever mental states you have, even your compulsive, obsessive tendencies, to be what they are, not in order to see them as something wrong with you, something that you should do something about, but in order to allow even the bad habits, the bad thoughts, the tensions, the pain, the sadness, the loneliness, or whatever, to be at this moment, with a sense of letting go, with a sense of allowing life to be what it is.
In the Western world we have a lot of problems around guilt. We can feel guilty all the time, and this of course is very much a cultural tendency that we have. In Thailand, where I lived for many years, not many people seem to have this obsessive guilt. They know when they’ve done something they shouldn’t, and they feel a sense of a shame when they tell a lie or something like that, but it becomes guilt when it’s taken so personally. We tend to hold onto this sense of shame and it becomes a kind of obsession, feeling guilty about just breathing the air or being alive, and it becomes neurotic tendencies. This is just a reflection of it, my particular reflection. In Asian countries like Thailand, and in the case of the Tibetans, even, the Dalai Lama has said that basically Tibetans like themselves; they have a sense of self-respect. One of the attractive things I think that many of us find in living in an Asian country is that people seem somehow happier there or more accepting of life; they don’t seem to be so complicated in the way they look at things. I found I really enjoyed living in Thailand because somehow life became easier for me, even though in some ways it was more complicated. On the one hand, I had to learn a whole new culture and a new language, but on an emotional level I found it easier because there is a basic acceptance. With Ajahn Chah, for example, there was an unquestioned acceptance of life as it was and of me as I was. I never felt that in the United States; I never felt accepted or acceptable as I was. I felt I should be better than me. If I’m in a good place right now as I am, I should think, ‘Well, I can be better than this.’ Because of guilt and tendencies towards negativity, you feel you are never good enough no matter how hard you try, and there is this kind of depressing feeling. When you look at the cultural attitude in America, it is highly competitive. You are brought up from the beginning with high-minded role models, images and ideals that you should live up to. Comparing oneself with the realities of what you are, you are going to come off feeling inferior. How can it be otherwise? There is no way out from that one if you compare yourself to an ideal. We are not ideals. This is not an ideal. This is the reality of flesh and blood and nerves and senses; it is all sensitivity. It is not like a Greek statue sculpted in marble, perfect in form. That doesn’t have to deal with nerve endings or toothaches, old age, or anything like that. But that is an icon, it’s perfect like the Buddha image; it’s an ideal.
Source and full article here:Guilt and Tendencies towards Negativity, by Ajahn Sumedho | Buddhism now
This article is just for information purpose only.
It is interesting that there are now all kinds of stress reduction programmes; people are aware of stress and tension in society. A modern life is a very stressful one and things move too quickly for us, actually. We’re propelled through high technology and a fast-lane type of life whether we like it or not, and this does affect us. We get a sense of this kind of driven quality, this quality that makes us very restless, and we tend to distract ourselves endlessly. This then creates tension and stress and when we do this to the body, the body stops. It can’t take it any more and starts creating problems for us. Relaxation is therefore something that is encouraged now very much in our society, just on a popular, worldly level.
I was listening to a tape of a woman teaching relaxation. She says that now you can’t even use the word ‘relaxation’ because people try to relax, so she uses a tone of voice more to convey that, ‘Soothing . . .’ But these are just expedient methods. Words and techniques are meant to help us; they are not commands or things that we obsess ourselves with. Any kind of meditation technique or even the words that we use are not to be taken as commandments, like commanding us to relax: RELAX! In terms of stress reduction that doesn’t help very much. In terms of a word that gives a message, what does ‘relaxation’ mean? Not that I can tell you how you should translate this word or what it can be for you, but it is pointing to our ability to let go and let life be—let go of these attitudes, let go of these compulsive obsessive tendencies of feeling we’ve got to do something, ‘I’ve got to get something I don’t have. I’ve got to get rid of things that I shouldn’t have.’ These are subconscious influences. Geshe-la [Geshe Tashi Tsering] was saying last night that these underlying influences are so deep that we don’t even notice them. That is why the word ‘relax’ can be taken as, ‘He says I have to relax. I should be able to relax, but I can’t. So what’s wrong with me?’
We can just allow things to be the way they are, allow tension to be. Even if you are stressed out, you can allow it, you can let it be the way it is. You can allow whatever mental states you have, even your compulsive, obsessive tendencies, to be what they are, not in order to see them as something wrong with you, something that you should do something about, but in order to allow even the bad habits, the bad thoughts, the tensions, the pain, the sadness, the loneliness, or whatever, to be at this moment, with a sense of letting go, with a sense of allowing life to be what it is.
In the Western world we have a lot of problems around guilt. We can feel guilty all the time, and this of course is very much a cultural tendency that we have. In Thailand, where I lived for many years, not many people seem to have this obsessive guilt. They know when they’ve done something they shouldn’t, and they feel a sense of a shame when they tell a lie or something like that, but it becomes guilt when it’s taken so personally. We tend to hold onto this sense of shame and it becomes a kind of obsession, feeling guilty about just breathing the air or being alive, and it becomes neurotic tendencies. This is just a reflection of it, my particular reflection. In Asian countries like Thailand, and in the case of the Tibetans, even, the Dalai Lama has said that basically Tibetans like themselves; they have a sense of self-respect. One of the attractive things I think that many of us find in living in an Asian country is that people seem somehow happier there or more accepting of life; they don’t seem to be so complicated in the way they look at things. I found I really enjoyed living in Thailand because somehow life became easier for me, even though in some ways it was more complicated. On the one hand, I had to learn a whole new culture and a new language, but on an emotional level I found it easier because there is a basic acceptance. With Ajahn Chah, for example, there was an unquestioned acceptance of life as it was and of me as I was. I never felt that in the United States; I never felt accepted or acceptable as I was. I felt I should be better than me. If I’m in a good place right now as I am, I should think, ‘Well, I can be better than this.’ Because of guilt and tendencies towards negativity, you feel you are never good enough no matter how hard you try, and there is this kind of depressing feeling. When you look at the cultural attitude in America, it is highly competitive. You are brought up from the beginning with high-minded role models, images and ideals that you should live up to. Comparing oneself with the realities of what you are, you are going to come off feeling inferior. How can it be otherwise? There is no way out from that one if you compare yourself to an ideal. We are not ideals. This is not an ideal. This is the reality of flesh and blood and nerves and senses; it is all sensitivity. It is not like a Greek statue sculpted in marble, perfect in form. That doesn’t have to deal with nerve endings or toothaches, old age, or anything like that. But that is an icon, it’s perfect like the Buddha image; it’s an ideal.
Source and full article here:Guilt and Tendencies towards Negativity, by Ajahn Sumedho | Buddhism now
This article is just for information purpose only.
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