Guardian (NEARLY won a competition with this)

[evil feline space cadet]

Caught me at knifepoint against the wall,
Threatening me, causing my downfall,
All the time I was standing there,
All turned gray except my fear,
I try to fight it but it wont let me go,
I tried to stand up to that vicious psycho,
It was hard but I tried,
But I was thrown into this dark room,
Where I still sit and I cry,
I feel so weak, too ashamed to speak,
I feel the blood leak, onto my feet,
I’ve tried to sleep but something creaks,
I’ts the sound of the hate inside of me,
Nobody knows what he is doing,
I’ve kept it to myself to prevent trouble brewing,
People complain about being in pain,
But they have never had a psycho,
Who made them insane,
He’s taken so much blood,
Its making red rain,
I cant remember what I did,
My minds so tormented,
And I cant defend,
I’ve always hid.
I knew he was demented,
But he was meant to be my friend,
The cause of my silence is his threatening screams,
The reason im living is to live my dreams,
To be free from this demon,
Find a friend and a safe bed to dream on…

 

[206Raider]

Really Nice, but that was a really dark poem! sometimes our self councience is our own worst enemy so I understand

 

[THE LIVING QUESTION]

i like how you used , "standing" and "downfall" and yet "being against a "wall", this imagery of power and gravity. Not too many people articulate such traumatic emotions with such structure and subtlety, yet shocking as it is subtle. I especially like poems that allow me to get a double take. you can keep going back to this poem and extract insight each time. It takes you to the "belly of the beast" with it, but somehow ending up in the present tense hope that is optimistic yet believable and i think a testament to the strength of character of this person. it also has rhythm i can follow throughout. DIGG IT!!! (as macho man randy savage would say)

 

[sullyS1985]

I really enjoyed reading your poem Charlene, it was dark and i love dark art. I wish i had an artistic side like you, because writing poems like that seems like a great escape. Thank you for sharing your poem with us i really enjoyed it.

 

[evil feline space cadet]

Thanks guys! Yeh my stuff is usually very dark. Hey its turning a weakness into a strength innit?! Sure Sully, you can always just blog... That can be a release too!

 

[Dronee]

Vivid. I like the last 3rd and last 4th lines.