Girl_Interrupted
Member
How do I even start this...
I was just like any other girl, outgoing....full of life, loved to dance and spent as little time as possable in the home. I had a loving husband and there was nothing I wished for, life was perfect.
Maybe a year after I got married It happened, I was sitting at my computer much like I am now and I felt odd, it's the only way I can describe it...I thought, I'm losing my mind and panic filled me until I felt physically Ill from it.
I spoke to my husband who tried to calm me, held me and it passed...until later that night. I woke in an even worse state of panic, things felt surreal, my skin prickled from the fear and I was frozen by it, not long after I was hit with my first and only panic attack, this has to have been the most terrifying experience I have ever endured....it was so bad I shook and no matter what I told myself it wouldnt stop.
I finally sought help and visited a doctor who diagnosed me with anxiety disorder and placed me on zoloft. This did nothing and over time the fear of having a panic attack began to control much more of my life...my home became my safety zone and eventually I wouldnt leave it without my husband.
He was loving at this time, prepared to stick by me even though I had this illness but things soon changed again. He woke me up one morning and told me that it was over, that he couldnt do this anymore and that he no longer loved me....was prepared to send me to hospital, he just didnt care at all, not even after five years of marriage. The breakup was something like hell and I came close to ending it several times, my maltese coming to check on me maybe the only thing that stopped me from going through with it.
I no longer love him now but I do still suffer with this ilness which is why I joined these forums, sometimes it helps to talk to people who do know what your experiencing.
Luckily I have a new man now, hes moving here next year and has had some problems with depression, hes much more understanding and I really need that. I'm living with my mother at the moment who has been a great help, I have a psychiatrist and have been put on lexapro and serapax.
sorry this was so long, guess I needed to talk
I was just like any other girl, outgoing....full of life, loved to dance and spent as little time as possable in the home. I had a loving husband and there was nothing I wished for, life was perfect.
Maybe a year after I got married It happened, I was sitting at my computer much like I am now and I felt odd, it's the only way I can describe it...I thought, I'm losing my mind and panic filled me until I felt physically Ill from it.
I spoke to my husband who tried to calm me, held me and it passed...until later that night. I woke in an even worse state of panic, things felt surreal, my skin prickled from the fear and I was frozen by it, not long after I was hit with my first and only panic attack, this has to have been the most terrifying experience I have ever endured....it was so bad I shook and no matter what I told myself it wouldnt stop.
I finally sought help and visited a doctor who diagnosed me with anxiety disorder and placed me on zoloft. This did nothing and over time the fear of having a panic attack began to control much more of my life...my home became my safety zone and eventually I wouldnt leave it without my husband.
He was loving at this time, prepared to stick by me even though I had this illness but things soon changed again. He woke me up one morning and told me that it was over, that he couldnt do this anymore and that he no longer loved me....was prepared to send me to hospital, he just didnt care at all, not even after five years of marriage. The breakup was something like hell and I came close to ending it several times, my maltese coming to check on me maybe the only thing that stopped me from going through with it.
I no longer love him now but I do still suffer with this ilness which is why I joined these forums, sometimes it helps to talk to people who do know what your experiencing.
Luckily I have a new man now, hes moving here next year and has had some problems with depression, hes much more understanding and I really need that. I'm living with my mother at the moment who has been a great help, I have a psychiatrist and have been put on lexapro and serapax.
sorry this was so long, guess I needed to talk
