Good idea, bad idea...? Another idea?

[Val]

Hello everyone... I was wondering if I could find any advice here in a certain matter...

I recently began work and on the very first day met this really wonderful girl. We just sort of clicked, spend the breaks talking, laughing, having a fun time... then, after work, I escorted her back home, said goodbye and went back hoping for great future days.

But on the second day, I felt something strange happening, as if I insulted her with something, even though I did or said nothing that remotely might cause that. But I felt there was something there... where earlier she would approach me with a smile, now she seemed sheepish, reluctant, and appeared to avoid me, or even looking at me... In short, I had the distinct feeling that she just wasn't feeling comfortable with me near anymore.

Yet another day passed, much in the same way, and then two more, during which we were at a company training site - where I was thinking of approaching her and speaking, but eventually did not... I was hoping I would do it on the end of the second day, when we got back to the company and everyone would start going home, but as bad luck had it, she had to leave the site earlier, before the rest of the team.

Now, after the weekend, I know I must do something, but the question is... what. Here's what I thought I would do: "catch" her after work - I hope she'll be alone for a moment then - approach her with a bouquet of roses and just right off apologize, say that I saw I hurt her somehow, that it's been eating at me for those several days, and that I would like to make up for it if only she accepted.

Then again, I suppose if there ever has been any trace of any chance of her and me having any meeting or relationship outside work - and I'm not speaking of anything necessarily romantic, she's just a wonderful girl that seems as if she could be a great "compatible" soulmate for me - I suppose this is likely to destroy any such chance, or is it?

Or what if I was imagining all this and she was only... I don't know, having some personal problem for those past few days?

Anyway... what do you think?

 

[decadeOfSA]

Women are weird and it drives me crazy. They like playing games. Don't give her flowers now, that's going way overboard. Just ask for her phone number(if you want to know right away) and see if she gives it to you. If she doesn't, then just move on. You have nothing to apologize to her for. If you give her flowers and apologize for nothing you have done wrong, then that looks strange. You might want to wait awhile before asking for her number and get to know her more and see if she uses any body language etc that shows she is interested. If she is interested she will talk to you a lot, stare at you, touch you, smile, and if she looks straight into your eyes a lot, then she likes you.

 

[Rx]

Hmmm... I agree with decadeOfSA. Don't apologise as you may (probably) have done nothing wrong. The bouquet I think is overboard as well and will result in creepiness (if you want my honest opinion).

I usually think that honesty is the best policy and that if it comes from the heart, whether the result is bad or good, atleast it was 'true', and that you will be able to live with that at the end of your day.

I would approach her when she is free, make like 30 seconds of small talk, and whether the situation feels right or not, go for it. Tell her that you like her and would like to get to know her even better, perhaps over dinner on Thursday. Simple and to the point.

Now, I'm not sure what type of guy you are but you'll obviously want to insert personality where you can, as she must like your personality! For me, I would insert humour in there. But thats me.

I like to think of it as following your heart. Your heart will scream at you if you like someone. All you have to do is have the courage to follow it through to the end. And it sounds like you do!

Let us know how it goes!