giving up on my dreams...

[no1]

I don't think school is for me. I think more.. humble labourious work is for me. One in which I don't really have to communicate much with people.. I'd rather just do some labour work for someone. I could do volunteer work but I dont want to interact with people. I am no good for that. I want to just do manual labour, for a good cause. I want to sacrifice myself for a good cause in a way like I would lose my life for another.

life is not for me. I am just... scum. I deserve to be nothing more than a peasant I believe. I deserve to be nothing more but to be submissive to the higher powers that be, with no regard for myself. I wish I could do that but...

in this world you need yourself first to be able to help others. if you are no good yourself what else can you do? can you even help another? everything requires interaction with someone else. I can't even do that!

I am unable to fit in with society's higher ups. So... I dont know. I will try going to school for one semester I guess, and go to counseling. If I find I'm not doing better.. I will just get some lower end job which won't even be enough to support me and my "habits". I guess I will have to become unhealthy as well. I will just commit myself to volunteer work or just be some kind of good samaritan.

 

[faithnomore]

A voluntary job (with nice people) was way better for me, than a solitary job.

I know what it feels like when you dont want hassle from stupid people, but the worst job was the one with less people.

Which was weird.

 

[Nikki1988]

lol. sorry i cant help but see the humour behind out your saying! calling yourself scum!
ya know. most people regard scum as those people u see mouthing off in public, who live of benefit and just smoke and drink all day and dont give a shit about nothing.

 

[RiverJourney]

I would work on that self-image of yours first if I was you. If you can't love yourself what else can you do? But PLEASE do not give up on your dreams..I've been there I know..education is important, very important. Think before you act, because you really don't wanna end up making some choices you'll regret for the rest of your life! I'm not after you or anything, just to say that I made some bad choices and I regret them..you can do it if you really want to but you've got to want it..