Girls

[Tab]

Ok this is really bothering me today. I can't get close to people but especially girls. If a girl does try and get close to me I'll push her away.

I usually hang out with my 2 cousins who are a year younger than me and they're always asking when I'm going to get a girl friend, why don't I have one yet, or saying you must be gay. I don't know how to answer them anymore. One of them always has a girl friend but he's always looking for another girl and doing shit behind their backs. The other one is controlled by her and can't do anything without telling her first.

I want to know what the hell is wrong with me, I want a girl friend but I can't get one. My biggest fear is living my whole life alone

 

[Day_Tripper]

I want to know what the hell is wrong with me, I want a girl friend but I can't get one. My biggest fear is living my whole life alone

Well is it that they don't seem to like you, or that you push them away?

 

[Tab]

I want to know what the hell is wrong with me, I want a girl friend but I can't get one. My biggest fear is living my whole life alone

Well is it that they don't seem to like you, or that you push them away?

I push them away, I don't know why. someone on here has got to know what I mean I can't explain it any better

 

[Ky]

I'm a girl, but I somewhat know what you mean...Do you feel like you're not worthy of their attention? Like they deserve someone better? I have it imprinted in my mind that I'm not good enough. That I'm just a shy girl who will never have a boyfriend. When guys talk to me, I blow them off, and without meaning to, I make myself seem bitchy.

 

[Caseums21]

I push them away, I don't know why. someone on here has got to know what I mean I can't explain it any better

I'm a female and I do the same thing with guys. I feel pretty good without having a boyfriend though. But when a guy tells me that he likes me, he'll rarely hear from me anymore. My one friend keeps saying that he would love to marry me but honestly I can't see myself getting married.

Maybe when you meet the right girl, things will turn around for you.

 

[LUMINOUS]

all I have to say is there's too many similarities in this forum. and I push girls away, have been called gay, and now most of the time they just don't seem to like me anymore Once they know my personality. because personality is made of ice. that cold.

I just hate having to do things like everyone else, or being told to etc. just leave me alone, that's all I ask these days to myself.

 

[recluse]

Ok this is really bothering me today. I can't get close to people but especially girls. If a girl does try and get close to me I'll push her away.

I usually hang out with my 2 cousins who are a year younger than me and they're always asking when I'm going to get a girl friend, why don't I have one yet, or saying you must be gay. I don't know how to answer them anymore. One of them always has a girl friend but he's always looking for another girl and doing shit behind their backs. The other one is controlled by her and can't do anything without telling her first.

I want to know what the hell is wrong with me, I want a girl friend but I can't get one. My biggest fear is living my whole life alone

I'm 26 and never been in a relationship, but i'm looking at the positive because i have met an online friend abroad this Easter, and we get on great. What i'm saying is, just treat the girl like a friend rather than a potential girlfriend and who knows maybe the friendship will develop into something more.

 

[piper23]

most of the time they just don't seem to like me anymore Once they know my personality. because personality is made of ice. that cold.

I don't think you are truly cold on the inside. You just don't know how to react or what to say, and maybe you don't want to end up hurting them or being hurt yourself, so you clam up and appear to be cold. But I'm sure you're not! If you're hurting on the inside because you want a relationship then you are a feeling person with a heart. If a girl shows interest again, watch her for a while interact with others and see if she is the type you would like to be with. Then you can take things further if that is your wish. If you think she likes you, but hasn't said it yet, try talking to her and see if she responds to your personality. Don't push them away (unless they are freaks haha)! Perhaps when you are ready you will have that special relationship.

 

[4seasons]

I can deff relate man. I've pushed away one of the hottest girls in my high school. When i realized what I did(because i actually did like her) i actually just gathered up all i could and made a move but it was to late, she had a date with one of my best friends. I still beat my self up over it.

 

[Rainbowstar]

I usually hang out with my 2 cousins who are a year younger than me and they're always asking when I'm going to get a girl friend, why don't I have one yet, or saying you must be gay. I don't know how to answer them anymore

Not having a girlfriend does not mean you are gay. I've also heard some people say that no girlfriend means you are gay. That's actually an illogical and irrational statement. People may not have a girlfriend for a number of reasons e.g. shyness, unable to find a compatible girlfriend (I'm still looking), lack of opportunities. People who say this haven't thought this through. You can answer them by not saying anything and smiling. This puts them on the backfoot.

 

[Cynic]

I'm a girl, but I somewhat know what you mean...Do you feel like you're not worthy of their attention? Like they deserve someone better?

Absolutely. I don't even bother looking for a partner as I know it will end badly. We all know what makes a good/bad boyfriend/girlfriend and if you don't come up to scratch, you're basiclly doomed.

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

Well Tab the question I have for you is are you really pushing them away or are you running away?
I have a long history of pushing the opposite sex and people in general away because usualy they are very agressive compare to our shy personality.

I also have a long history of running away from the opposite sex usualy when they are as shy as us because...well I have'nt figured that out yet. I guess it could be preformance anxiety? I dont know.

If you are pushing people away at least you are attracting them right? Maby someone else can add to this.

 

[kaspersrad]

i feel that if you haven't met a person who makes you want to overcome your fears & take chances because your biggest fear becomes losing them, then you haven't found anyone worth 'being with' anyway. I'm a firm believer in that the people who are supposed to be in your life will find there way there eventually no matter what ... and what you dont have you don't need it now. :wink:

 

[LUMINOUS]

true kasper.

also if you immediately ignore them, make sure they don''t have anything to do with you, then they cannot be in your life at all. people are not going to want to try to be with you if you send signals that you dont want to be with them.

tampa:

pushing away I say because I used to attract many people so I have to push and make sure they know I am not available for dialog, relationship, etc.
""
cynic:
"I don't even bother looking for a partner as I know it will end badly. We all know what makes a good/bad boyfriend/girlfriend and if you don't come up to scratch, you're basiclly doomed."

totally agree with that ^

piper:
""I don't think you are truly cold on the inside. You just don't know how to react or what to say, and maybe you don't want to end up hurting them or being hurt yourself, so you clam up and appear to be cold. But I'm sure you're not! If you're hurting on the inside because you want a relationship then you are a feeling person with a heart. Smile If a girl shows interest again, watch her for a while interact with others and see if she is the type you would like to be with. Then you can take things further if that is your wish. If you think she likes you, but hasn't said it yet, try talking to her and see if she responds to your personality. Don't push them away (unless they are freaks haha)! Perhaps when you are ready you will have that special relationship.""

sorry, I meant my persona, what I present to other people in the real world = cold. yes clam up I do. and I can't ever try again, last time I tried I wound up drinking to forget, and that took a shit load of drinking, vodka that is.

never have had a girlfriend more than about a month, didn't want it to seem like we were actually going out. and my heart wasn't there. I can't open up that heart of mine it has been closed for too long.

sorry piper, thanks for the suggestions but its not possible it would most likely back fire and I'm too bitter etc.

no matter who I like, what the situation, it comes down to when I have to open up to people, I get serious danger signals and I have to respond to those signals accordingly.

short post ^^^