gf just dumped me after 6 years

[mikebird]

List a few of her bad attributes - physical or emotional demands?

 

[dpr]

8 years... that's even longer than mine! Was that your longest relationship as well? This was my longest relationship.

I'm sure you will get over this. It just takes time.

These metafilter posts helped me:

Help me get over this. - breakup dating hurt | Ask MetaFilter

You're lucky to even know me; you're lucky to be alive. - single breakup dating | Ask MetaFilter

And I don't think your relationship was a waste of time. Otherwise, why would the both of you choose to spend 8 years with each other? I'm sure he learned a lot from you and you from him. It's never a waste of time.

After reading this thread, I could relate to you so much and I hope to someday have the same mindset as you do.
I want to continue my life as well - improve myself and love myself - see my 8 year relationship as a learning experience rather than a waste of time and a broken heart.

You are an inspiration for me.
Please keep on helping yourself, keep on growing and keep on living!

 

[dpr]

Never a defeat, always a lesson. I like that.

Glad to hear you're almost at the end of your debt. I only have about 3 grand more to go. Won't be long now!

Lilke normally say, words go with the wind. But cant just pass away with this post without saying nothing at all. At least I want to say. I'm here. Lots of people are here. And we dont go anyway. Life sucks. Life sucks more to ppl with SP. However, things can go worst if u just give up now. Put all the progress in to the dump. Like I heard once, from lady gaga tattoo (not the best example i admitt)....NEVER A DEFEAT, ALWAYS A LESSON.

Try to get the best of it. Is tough to give up from a relation of so long. But ask for yourself what will i win from this if i just give up? Loose my job? Get another worst? Give reason to my ex-gf! Make a effort, try to change...try even harder!! Who knows, what tomorow brings u!

PS: I FUKING KNOW WHAT'S A DEBT...still know!! but like u i'm almost at the end...i believe u will start feeling better! Money dont buy everything...but sure helps!

 

[dpr]

I know what you mean. I've had some pretty well-paying office jobs myself, but the constant talking with co-workers etc messed with my head, my SP won out and I ended up working factory jobs and eventually a security job. I am now making half of what I could be making if I didn't have SP.

This was a problem for her. She understands I have SP, but she works in an office, makes lots of money and wants to travel, see the world with me, etc. And I just don't have that much money, so this is a problem for her. I never thought she would be the type to care about money, but apparently she has changed.

She is kind of right though. I can't expect to have a great life making $12 an hour. So what I am doing now is starting my own business at something I have always been naturally good at. And I think I am going to be successful at it. I've taken some practice certification tests and done really well. But now it's weird, because I'm no longer doing it for her. I'm doing it for myself.

i bet you're feeling alot better now, as time heals all wounds doesn't it....i also want to agree with what others are saying about the don't rely on others for happiness or strength, and i want to extend that even further to include careers aswell.

You should never convince yourself that having a 'top job' will mean your on the path to success or believe that its a huge self improvement in any way...because just like relationships, these can come and go.

i've been in that boat, and had the good paying jobs, and ive also gone on to loose them aswell. You see unfortuently, love it or hate it, we social phobes are more likely to loose our jobs because of this..its just a fact. You can't go on saying 'my life's gunna be so much better when i land that dream job'...don't let having a good job be what props up your self esteem...because what happens when its gone? you loose your self worth along with it. Don't put too much weight on having a good job, aswell as relationships....

being social phobes we just gotta learn to roll with the punches so to speak and somtimes just be contempt with the crappy jobs, knowing that its always gunna be hard to keep the btter ones...just likes its always gunna be hard for us to maintain long term relationships....its fine to be happy and feel lucky when we do actually find the good jobs or long lasting relationships..but just don't depend on them for your inner wellbeing or use them as a guage of how improved your social phobia is going.

 

[dpr]

I know what you mean man. And I'm not saying I'm completely better yet. I still have days where I'm sad, confused, jealous, angry, all that good stuff

But you should be able to be good without a girl. It's nice to have a girl to share your life with. But you shouldn't cease function as a human being just because you don't have a girl by your side. You know what I mean?

yeah im goin though a break up too man... i feel ya, n i dont wanna discourage u at all, but for me i start feeling better like that but it doesn't last long. im no good without a girl!

 

[dpr]

if you need to have a setback, to make an even larger comeback.

I like that a lot!

 

[dpr]

You're a strong person, dpr. Truly an inspiration.
I'm glad you're feeling better! And stay strong x

I try! and thanks, I will