I feel like my life is getting out of control. I am terrified of germs for some reason and my constant hand washings and avoiding to touch things are driving me insane. I don't know what to do. I'm not scared of getting sick or anything, but I still wash my hands way more than necessary and avoid touching things.
I seem to have two worlds, my clean world and my unclean one. In my clean one, which is basically my bedroom, I can touch anything and don't feel the need to wash. This is because no one else really touches anything in my room. My other world consists of basically everything else and the two cannot mix. Whenever I take my shower at night, I can't really touch anything that the rest of my family might touch without washing my hands. I back away if someone comes near me because I'm scared that they might "contaminate" me. I can't hug anyone or lean back in furniture that isn't in my bedroom.
I'm heading off to college soon and want to leave this behind. I basically ruined high school by being the kid whose always using hand sanitizer and avoids a lot of things. I tell myself that I will just have one world when I get there, but I honestly don't know. I feel like if I have the option to clean, I'm going to.
Some people tell me to just stop, but they don't understand. I get so exhausted from all of this. Even when I watch tv, I see something a character does and think "ew how can they do that and not wash". I think when people use the bathroom, they get their hands dirty, wash them, and use their clean hands to turn off the dirty sink that they touched with their dirty hands. Then they touch everything else. No matter what I do, these thoughts are constantly in my mind and I don't know how to stop them. I get so tired of this and ask myself how long can I keep doing this. I'm scared that if I can't stop, I'll end up killing myself. I don't think I ever would, but I can't live like this forever. If anyone has had the same symptoms and is better, I'ld really appreciate some advice.
I seem to have two worlds, my clean world and my unclean one. In my clean one, which is basically my bedroom, I can touch anything and don't feel the need to wash. This is because no one else really touches anything in my room. My other world consists of basically everything else and the two cannot mix. Whenever I take my shower at night, I can't really touch anything that the rest of my family might touch without washing my hands. I back away if someone comes near me because I'm scared that they might "contaminate" me. I can't hug anyone or lean back in furniture that isn't in my bedroom.
I'm heading off to college soon and want to leave this behind. I basically ruined high school by being the kid whose always using hand sanitizer and avoids a lot of things. I tell myself that I will just have one world when I get there, but I honestly don't know. I feel like if I have the option to clean, I'm going to.
Some people tell me to just stop, but they don't understand. I get so exhausted from all of this. Even when I watch tv, I see something a character does and think "ew how can they do that and not wash". I think when people use the bathroom, they get their hands dirty, wash them, and use their clean hands to turn off the dirty sink that they touched with their dirty hands. Then they touch everything else. No matter what I do, these thoughts are constantly in my mind and I don't know how to stop them. I get so tired of this and ask myself how long can I keep doing this. I'm scared that if I can't stop, I'll end up killing myself. I don't think I ever would, but I can't live like this forever. If anyone has had the same symptoms and is better, I'ld really appreciate some advice.