of_darkness
Well-known member
I like to think I'm improving my social skills. Which I am to an extent, but then again I'm also realising that whilst I can talk to people in such an improved way, I'm disliking so many more people at the same time. Theres an inverse relationship, as I discover more about more people I dislike them or someone else...
But as a possible cause/result of this general anxiety I've become me. I'm incredibly close to seeing who I really am, it's weird. I've been strengthening my music tastes to what I really can't improve on beauty-wise, I've built up my dress sense to a comfortable, 'good looking' lever, and I've just become really happy about what I've sculpted myself into.
It's odd how this unfair situation works. As we get more and more closer to our insides, we just cut off everything else.. everyt ime I try and improve the other, I get annoyed with myself and cut it off again...
I'm just so happy at the moment, listenng to music had become a real part of me. If only i'd realised I was also a song writer, as opposed to my instrumentals whcih ramble on. That's another reason to feel warm about myself, but then again that's just making myself feel better about myself. Not about other people. I've been cut off again. The last 2 gigs I went to were on my own, to indulgde in my tastes.
Everything is seamlessly fitting together, and really starts working out for me. It's just not the way I'd like it.
Sigh. I just had to let all of that out, and maybe people can relate. This is all such a depressing thought. I know tomorrow I'll probably be angry at something else and get home and be incredibly happy once I'm safe in my own world!!
But as a possible cause/result of this general anxiety I've become me. I'm incredibly close to seeing who I really am, it's weird. I've been strengthening my music tastes to what I really can't improve on beauty-wise, I've built up my dress sense to a comfortable, 'good looking' lever, and I've just become really happy about what I've sculpted myself into.
It's odd how this unfair situation works. As we get more and more closer to our insides, we just cut off everything else.. everyt ime I try and improve the other, I get annoyed with myself and cut it off again...
I'm just so happy at the moment, listenng to music had become a real part of me. If only i'd realised I was also a song writer, as opposed to my instrumentals whcih ramble on. That's another reason to feel warm about myself, but then again that's just making myself feel better about myself. Not about other people. I've been cut off again. The last 2 gigs I went to were on my own, to indulgde in my tastes.
Everything is seamlessly fitting together, and really starts working out for me. It's just not the way I'd like it.
Sigh. I just had to let all of that out, and maybe people can relate. This is all such a depressing thought. I know tomorrow I'll probably be angry at something else and get home and be incredibly happy once I'm safe in my own world!!