Funerals

[Sheils]

As a SAD sufferer I can usually always come up with an excuse not to attend an event that I'm anxious about but recently I have had to avoid the funerals of two work colleagues as the anxiety was so bad. I hate myself for it.

I could not imagine being an a church with the doors closed and not being able to escape and I dreaded having a panic attack.

I phoned in sick when each funeral took place.

This had made me extremely upset and regretful - these were times when I should have tried to pull myself together.

Has anyone else been unable to attend something as important as this?

 

[IceLad]

The only funeral I've attended was my neighbour's and that was quite a few years ago now. I remember the immensely frustrating part being my facial sweating- for the first 10 minutes or so after taking a seat in church, it just went on and on and I had to get out a handkerchief to wipe my face. This increased the already sky-high anxiety and made me embarrassed.

Since then, I've avoided a few funerals I would of liked to have attended.

Wouldn't it be great if somehow, social phobics could just pull themselves together at times of significant importance? Unfortunately though it doesn't quite work that way.

 

[Ihateit]

I remember my grandads funeral a few years back, I did go but at the wake after I faked I was ill, so that people wouldn't question why I was not socialising. I was only 14 at the time.

 

[shrnwarks]

I had to go to my granddads funeral on new years eve....awful i know but i had to have quite a few drinks before i went...if i hadnt of i would of just sat there and sweat

 

[Rodox]

Well I didnt attend my cousin's wedding,I regret so bad,my lame excuse was that I didnt have any decent clothes,havent talked to him since,I am afraid he might be upset.....

 

[FOR REAL]

i couldnt attend my little brothers funeral a few years back, and i felt terrible about that.
i remember him in my own way
i also missed my mums wedding last year (so i got stuck babysitting my nephews)

the thing is my family understand my situation and support me and anyone who talks about me behind my back arent worth bothering about (even though i do bother)

ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.

 

[Janx]

My best friend got married a few years back now and asked me to be bridesmaid which sent me into an immediate panic attack! I had to tell her no. She was really understanding about it but I still had to go to the wedding. It was awful. I don't know how I managed to get there without collapsing from stress, but I had to go, she would have never have forgiven me if I hadn't. It was such a long, traumatic day, I felt like everyone was looking at me and talking about me. Then you had to sit through the four-course meal. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't stand eating infront of other people. I can't do it, and all the time you have to smile and laugh and pretend everything's great, when its not and all you want to do is run out of the room. I managed to leave really early in the end with some pathetic excuse. Never again. I can just about manage to meet and talk to people one-on-one, but I can't do big groups, the stress and worry is too much.

 

[NormanBates]

The last funeral I went to must've had like 400 people. And none of them were crying.
And it was so obvious that everyone there was showing off their gothic-wear.

 

[Lea]

I´ve been to 4 weddings, but no funeral yet. It tends to avoid me somehow, everytime something is, I happen to be away. I missed funerals of both my grandparents from mother´s side (those from father´s side are long dead). When grandfather died, I wasn´t at home, and when grandmother died, I was at home - it was awfull, a horror. I saw her being put to the coffin, put in the car and taken away. But unfortunately I had to leave for job to England in 2 days after, exactly before the funeral. But I had no choice. This was one of the worst times of my life.

 

[recluse]

I'm the opposite..I'm probably too serious in funerals! I know it sounds strange but at my grandfathers funeral last summer everyone at the wake were really social and laughing, whereas i was just sitting there not saying much.