fuming temper

[Fredscars]

Right..
I have my ex bf..we both agreed that we'd remain good friends once we broke up..and we are sort of..apart from we keep arguing.
Now hes holding a party, to which i was invited..months ago. Im not normally a party person, but i know all the people there and ive been steeling myself up to it for ages and im actually really looking forward to it.
Now i get back off holiday on tuesday and text him for details - times etc. In reply i get an email saying that he doesnt want me coming. he got together with a girl on holiday (which im fine about) and hes worried that im going to make a move on him (completely ignoring that fact that i broke up with him). He also reckons he 'needs more time' and thinks bieng thrown together in a partty situation isnt a good idea, but that we can still be good friends afterwards.
Now im normally very level headed and rarely get so angry that i cant think. This time however..argh, it had me shaking with fury. I guess i really wanted to go the party :roll:
Anyway, i sent him an email back telling him in not so polite words that bascially i go to the party or he can have our 'friendship' shoved up his arse, where it can join his head.
Now i accept i was probably a bit rash in my decision to send this email..
but do you think it was totally unwarrented? Did i behave badly?

 

[redlady]

I think your reaction was a culmination of a lot of things which is why it wasn't 'so polite'. Okay you suffer from sp and you don't normally like crowds and parties but you had psyched yourself up about this party and put yourself in a frame of mind of excitement over it - which isn't easy for us folk - okay so his decision threatens to take that away from you. Furthermore it is always upsetting to be dictated to by anyone, especially when the terms are unreasonable - he completely changed the 'rules' so to speak on you.
His behaviour is also terribly dismissive and selfish and not only that but he also has the nerve to tell you how you will behave - which always gets to me something shocking.
So as you can see and already know he offended you on more than one level in a lot of different ways which is why you reacted as you did. You know it is always good to stand up for yourself and i will always advocate that over being a doormat to anyone. If you think you went overboard and want to remedy the situation you could try to tell him how his behaviour has particularly affected you.

 

[Boundless]

Anger is a powerfull emotion,and we all do bad things whilst under its control,and what redlady said is also a big factor.

 

[Boundless]

Right..
I have my ex bf..we both agreed that we'd remain good friends once we broke up..and we are sort of..apart from we keep arguing.
Now hes holding a party, to which i was invited..months ago. Im not normally a party person, but i know all the people there and ive been steeling myself up to it for ages and im actually really looking forward to it.
Now i get back off holiday on tuesday and text him for details - times etc. In reply i get an email saying that he doesnt want me coming. he got together with a girl on holiday (which im fine about) and hes worried that im going to make a move on him (completely ignoring that fact that i broke up with him). He also reckons he 'needs more time' and thinks bieng thrown together in a partty situation isnt a good idea, but that we can still be good friends afterwards.
Now im normally very level headed and rarely get so angry that i cant think. This time however..argh, it had me shaking with fury. I guess i really wanted to go the party :roll:
Anyway, i sent him an email back telling him in not so polite words that bascially i go to the party or he can have our 'friendship' shoved up his arse, where it can join his head.
Now i accept i was probably a bit rash in my decision to send this email..
but do you think it was totally unwarrented? Did i behave badly?

You're making the basic mistake that men are rational. We aren't. See McSHy said it so it must be true. From a male perspective..ummmm. you dumped him..he's probably dating the new girl on the rebound, so why not give the party a miss and let him have a moment of bliss. He still loves you, that's obvious, but if he can't have you he'll take second best. but if you are at the party, he'll spend all his 'love' on you. Just think how the new-miss-you would feel if he invites her to the party and then spends all his time with you. So it's time for you to be the big girl and let the two of them have a good time together. DOn't worry, he still oves you and probably always will.

[stonecold]And thats the bottom line,because McShy said so! [/stonecold]

 

[Angie_05]

I would be very offended if my ex-boyfriend told me that he was afraid I would hit on him. Oh my...the nerve. Obviously he doesn't see you as just a friend, or he wouldn't have to worry about it. His new girl wouldn't even need to know if you were his ex, cuz you guys would just carry on like normal friends. It's his loss. I say you tell him that that's not what friendship is.

 

[4myself]

I'm with Angie_05, what kind of gal does he take you for?.

 

[4myself]

lol taws, yeah thats a good idea, do that and see how he reacts.

 

[Fredscars]

THe new gf isnt going to the party i dont think.
Hehe, im going anyway. I had a word with the other guys that are going and they got me re-invited!
i'm happy now, and we've both apologised for our 'rashness'
..although he does still keep making subtle comments about his new gf, as if trying to make me jealous
*sigh* boys. :roll:

 

[black_mamba]

Get yourself the upgraded model - the man. Much much better in my opinion. :wink:

 

[Fredscars]

Get yourself the upgraded model - the man. Much much better in my opinion. :wink:

*sigh* im much more interested in the 17+ year olds than guys my age...but not many 17+ seem interested in a 15year old *sigh* just a few more years..

 

[black_mamba]

Wow I didn't know you were only 15! Yet another person to suprise me with their age, ok...I guess I imagined you being about 18/19 years old. :lol:

 

[Angie_05]

Get yourself the upgraded model - the man. Much much better in my opinion. :wink:

*sigh* im much more interested in the 17+ year olds than guys my age...but not many 17+ seem interested in a 15year old *sigh* just a few more years..

Where I'm from, it's common for older guys to date younger girls. But you never know who you might meet at the party. And if you don't meet anyone, then you will be the cool, independent, single chick.

 

[Fredscars]

thats a very positive way at lookin at it angie, thanks

and yep mamba, only 15 *sigh* its so boring...

 

[Fredscars]

well the party was actually alot of fun..
i was so confident..i thought i'd gone mad
but i was proud of myself
..apart from..uhh..
my ex bf pulled a party popper just behind my back..so i screamed and jumped..he walked out of the door..and i..uhh..dumped my glass of juice all over him.
He didnt really thank me for that, but i got everyones attention

 

[Angie_05]

well the party was actually alot of fun..
i was so confident..i thought i'd gone mad
but i was proud of myself
..apart from..uhh..
my ex bf pulled a party popper just behind my back..so i screamed and jumped..he walked out of the door..and i..uhh..dumped my glass of juice all over him.
He didnt really thank me for that, but i got everyones attention

Congrats on having fun at the party and for your confidence! That is so awesome.