Forgetmenot_ak
Banned
How does everyone explain the ways that Social Anxiety effects them? When I am with close friends or family, I always seem to be turning down opportunities because they just seem scary. When they ask, "why can't/won't you?" I feel like I say with no justification, "Social Anxiety".
I know that everyone here is aware of how misconstrewed Social Phobia/Anxiety is; people who don't know any better think it's something that can be conquered if we're just forced into the situations that repel us; people think that the disorder is not really a disorder but just a larger case of being "shy". I've settled with the nickname "shy girl" with my friends and classmates over the years, but how the hell do you get people to understand what it's like to be suffering from crippling Social Anxiety?
My mother reads articles online, then she acts as if she knows everything. My sister is a Psych major and acts as if she's a shrink, though her focus is demensia in senior citizens and she's put her degree to use as an activity coordinator at a retirement home. I love that they try, that they search for ways that can "help" (no doubt the "helping strategies" are thought up by psychiatrists or people who think that they are, and they're much easier said than done, especially when attempted by one of us - the sufferers).
My mother gets pissed when I don't go out for walks, when I don't meet new people, when I cancel plans at the last minute, when I don't go to the mall (oh, by the way, I'm 21 which makes it even more frustrating because I feel like I'm about 12 when she asks things like, "why can't you go to a friend's?"). I try to explain that it's difficult, but she thinks that by going out I'll eventually feel better. This is backed by some logic, but it's still not easy, and what I'd like is for her to understand that, and maybe gain some freaking patience and acceptance. My anxiety has only worsened as of lately, as I'm having rumors spread around town about me. Last time I attempted to walk in my neighborhood, someone threw a water balloon at me and called me a whore, courtesy of one of my two most abusive exes if not both. After the balloon hit me, a car of people I graduated with pulled up beside me giggling, asked if I was okay but obviously didn't really give much of a shit, and when I turned away and wanted to melt into the sidewalk from embarassment and anxiety they drove off, still laughing.
There's no use in explaining to my family anymore, it seems. I go to stores with family, and I can't stay in them very long, even when out of town. I just want to be OUTSIDE of the crowds... How do I go about explaining how it feels? How do I get the message across that I'm terrified of such situations, that I know it's not rational but I'd like to be comfortable? It's not like I lock myself in a room and never exit. I'm a very active person; I rescue animals all over the state from high kill shelters, I work and volunteer closely with numerous organizations, I'm close with the founders of said nonprofits, I work with fundraising, I have a job, I go to school, in high school I wrote for the paper. It's hard, but I push myself. It's so hard, I need 12 hours of sleep typically, because I wear myself out so damn much just trying to show my family that I'm more than a shy girl living under a rock (though they don't notice my efforts because I'm not nearly as active as my parents, my two sisters, or my brother).
I walk, I see someone walking in my direction and I cannot look them in the eye. In museums, I study the intricate artwork but as soon as someone comes near me to also study the art I get hot and clammy and I need to get away. I think they're not only studying the paintings or carvings, but also me, judging not only the minor flaws in the prestine pieces of art, but also judging the major flaws in myself, made particularly evident when they see me closer-up, that I'm sweating from anxiety, that I'm shaking, that I'm acting like a freak. My family acts like I CHOOSE this lifestyle... I get punished for this sort of behavior, as if that helps.
If you were in my situation (which I can only assume, many people are to some extent), if you wanted to explain to your loved ones what you feel because of Social Anxiety, what would you say?
I know that everyone here is aware of how misconstrewed Social Phobia/Anxiety is; people who don't know any better think it's something that can be conquered if we're just forced into the situations that repel us; people think that the disorder is not really a disorder but just a larger case of being "shy". I've settled with the nickname "shy girl" with my friends and classmates over the years, but how the hell do you get people to understand what it's like to be suffering from crippling Social Anxiety?
My mother reads articles online, then she acts as if she knows everything. My sister is a Psych major and acts as if she's a shrink, though her focus is demensia in senior citizens and she's put her degree to use as an activity coordinator at a retirement home. I love that they try, that they search for ways that can "help" (no doubt the "helping strategies" are thought up by psychiatrists or people who think that they are, and they're much easier said than done, especially when attempted by one of us - the sufferers).
My mother gets pissed when I don't go out for walks, when I don't meet new people, when I cancel plans at the last minute, when I don't go to the mall (oh, by the way, I'm 21 which makes it even more frustrating because I feel like I'm about 12 when she asks things like, "why can't you go to a friend's?"). I try to explain that it's difficult, but she thinks that by going out I'll eventually feel better. This is backed by some logic, but it's still not easy, and what I'd like is for her to understand that, and maybe gain some freaking patience and acceptance. My anxiety has only worsened as of lately, as I'm having rumors spread around town about me. Last time I attempted to walk in my neighborhood, someone threw a water balloon at me and called me a whore, courtesy of one of my two most abusive exes if not both. After the balloon hit me, a car of people I graduated with pulled up beside me giggling, asked if I was okay but obviously didn't really give much of a shit, and when I turned away and wanted to melt into the sidewalk from embarassment and anxiety they drove off, still laughing.
There's no use in explaining to my family anymore, it seems. I go to stores with family, and I can't stay in them very long, even when out of town. I just want to be OUTSIDE of the crowds... How do I go about explaining how it feels? How do I get the message across that I'm terrified of such situations, that I know it's not rational but I'd like to be comfortable? It's not like I lock myself in a room and never exit. I'm a very active person; I rescue animals all over the state from high kill shelters, I work and volunteer closely with numerous organizations, I'm close with the founders of said nonprofits, I work with fundraising, I have a job, I go to school, in high school I wrote for the paper. It's hard, but I push myself. It's so hard, I need 12 hours of sleep typically, because I wear myself out so damn much just trying to show my family that I'm more than a shy girl living under a rock (though they don't notice my efforts because I'm not nearly as active as my parents, my two sisters, or my brother).
I walk, I see someone walking in my direction and I cannot look them in the eye. In museums, I study the intricate artwork but as soon as someone comes near me to also study the art I get hot and clammy and I need to get away. I think they're not only studying the paintings or carvings, but also me, judging not only the minor flaws in the prestine pieces of art, but also judging the major flaws in myself, made particularly evident when they see me closer-up, that I'm sweating from anxiety, that I'm shaking, that I'm acting like a freak. My family acts like I CHOOSE this lifestyle... I get punished for this sort of behavior, as if that helps.
If you were in my situation (which I can only assume, many people are to some extent), if you wanted to explain to your loved ones what you feel because of Social Anxiety, what would you say?
