From socially_concious

[Yossarian]

Below is a message sent to me from Kieran under the username socially_concious. I have posted it here on his behalf and not because I have multiple personalities.

I don't know how to send messages to the message board but i'll send it to you hopefully everyone can read it.f***k it. Hi everyone my name is kieran i'm 19 years old and i live in ireland originally from the U.K, I was diagnosed with social phobia about a year ago when i was feelin' suicidal, i tried to hang my self, i took an overdose of some tablets that my doc gave to me over my phobia and told me if i tried to overdose on the tablets it would'nt kill me but i overdosed anyways, more recently i cut my rists it did'nt kill me i just bled a lot.I kept lickin' the blood that was porin' from my forearm i hav a load of scars i cut my arm horizontally an' vertically hopin' it would be more effective and kill me quicker but it did'nt do anythin'. I know that i'm not alone in te world with this phobia, any way i've had this for as long as i can remember (this phobia), its made me suicidal i hate meetin' new people or people i already know it's hard to make friend's with them, i don't hav any friend or a job i find it hard to keep a job, i get nervous around people i blush i sweat i get dizzy there about all the symptoms i get. I've been to a shrink but i did'nt keep goin 'cause i thought it was pointless i've never heard of social phobia before last year it was news to me when my shrink told me. Anyone who wants to chat or send me a message please do i think i'm goin' insane it's gettin' worse i don'nt go outside anymore if you want to send me an e-mail or message my e-mail address is [email protected] don't hesitate to send me a message or e-mail. am i fucked up or is it normal to be like this, i feel like a loner with no friend's, and no job.

 

[Yossarian]

Sorry Kieran I didn't notice I had a personal message until today. I feel bad incase you think I was ignoring you.

To answer the easy part first - how to post on a forum:
When you read a forum there is a 'post reply' or 'new topic' option at the top. Just click which you want. However if you take over 2 seconds to write your message you get an Invalid Session if you try to post. To overcome this copy everything you wrote, go back to the forum, click on the option again then paste your message and send it. Hope this helps as I don't know a better way.

About the SP:
First you're not fucked up. You've got problems like all of us but that doesn't make you fucked up. Second it may not be easy but we can overcome SP. Others will probably be able to help more than me. I would recommend if you are still feeling suicidal to get some medication, again others might have better advice. The next step I think would be see a shrink again. Not a psychoanalyst or any other talking therapy as the only way that seems to work is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I'm not sure about hypnotherapy but that might help as well. It's sure as hell worth a try if you can. As for work it might be a good idea to see if you can get signed off work by your Doctor. Give yourself some time and space to focus on getting over SP. Not sure about benefits in Ireland though and maybe working could be good thing it's up to you. I'm glad you found this site as it has given me some solace and posting here can be a good way to get pent up feelings out. There might be some organisations or charities in your area which could help, it's worthing checking out. Hope this helps a little, sorry again I missed your message (never had one before) and I'm sure others will be able to help as well. One thing this site has taught me is alot of SPs are warm, funny, smart, good people and I'm sure you are no different and have alot to offer the world, be strong and don't give up hope.

 

[Anonymous]

Hi Kieran,

i'm confused, i have read your other posts and you are 26 etc?? who is Yossarian?? have i got all this confused or were you trying to have a different perspective on things.

i hope your ok from reading this and feel better you have posted.

try not to worry about you phobia now, the first thing you have to do is retain yourself from cutting and not taking overdoses. you have to try to believe that you have self worth. i know its difficult but everyone has value. think how others would feel if you were to leave them by committing suicide. you might not see it but im sure there is someone out there who thinks of you and cares for you even if they dont show it. your going backwards the more you cut and making it harder for yourself to return to normality. i know that is along way off, im not going to pretend it isnt, but surely if you try, any improvement will be good. keep writing on here, explain how you feeling. it always makes me feel better. you can get through this. just keep going.

i too have no friends and no job.

you have to get past all this before you can attempt to be strong enough to fight your fears. im a scared too, but dont give up hope.

sorry if ive been no help

good luck and best wishes x

 

[Yossarian]

Sorry I suppose this is confusing.

I am Yossarian not Kieran.

Kierans username is socially_concious

Kieran sent me a private message yesterday because he didn't know how to post on a forum.

I found the message today and put it up as a new topic.

Because I started the topic by copying and pasting his message it says its from Yossarian(me) and not socially_concious(Kieran).

Hope this clears things up. Shall put a message at the top of the first post to try and help.

I must of looked bonkers :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

Hi Yossarian,

:lol: its fine, i understand it all now. You didnt seem bonkers, i thought i had missed something, i just got really confused, you gave me a great laugh!! Glad i know who im talking to now though Hope your ok

And Kieran, i hope what i wrote to you could help in some way

sorry i questioned this, i should have just wrote my reply and forgot about it.

(i saw the message at the top now? is that what you added or did i miss that?- only how did you edit the message? sorry, im useless with computers!)

 

[Yossarian]

It was good you commented on how confusing it was. This way I could point out what was happening more clearly for everyone else. Don't be embarrassed you did a good thing.

Yes the message at the top was added after your post (I wouldn't of done it if it wasn't for you). I think you have to be a member and logged on to edit your posts. If you are there is an option in the top right of every post you make. Comes in handy now and again.

Just one of the benefits of being a member. Why don't you join, all you need is to give a valid e-mail. Plus you can look at the members photos and feel depressed because there are so many good looking men and women there. That's what I do!

Glad you found the humour in the mix up, god knows we need to laugh when we can eh?

P.S. are you the so disheartened guest? don't know why but seems to be a familiarity in the way you write.

 

[Anonymous]

Hi Yossarian,

yes i am the so disheartened guest i apologise you had to read that before. i was in a really strange hopeless mood. i didnt even write properly. im suprised you managed to read it when im useless at english anyway.

i cant join, im too scared. firstly, im worried that my family will find out, what with receiving an email after. then im scared that people will hate me in SPW aswell as in the 'real' world. i even feel bad now because ive sort of taken over Kieran's post It took alot for me to write on here in the first place a few months back and officially joining scares me??

Hope your ok

 

[Yossarian]

Hello Dish!

I feel a bit guilty too but there's nothing stopping anyone getting it back on track. At least we tried to help right ?

I was terrified of posting but in time it gets better PROMISE! As for e-mails you only need to receive one which you receive straight after you join. So because you are at the computer you can just delete it right? I don't want to push you but if you did join you can hide whether you are online or not and still post as a guest if you like. You don't have to give any personal details you don't want to. No one will hate you here, if they do many of us will stick up for you I know I will! I like reading your posts they cheer me up and I look forward to them. I have never had a problem understanding any of them.

Hey if you feel scared about joining what better reason to join? It's up to you bud the last thing I want to do is pressure you. We're still here for you whether you join or not.