Friends Lists

[Xervello]

I'm kind of a literal person. Or as some might say, a humorless jerk. ha ha. No. But the whole gesture/concept of the Friends list feature strikes me as odd in this respect: are you actually friends with everyone on yours? We each have our own definitions of what a friend is, so I'm not going to project mine onto everyone else's. To each their own. But the one strange thing about it, for me, is people who add/invite me as a friend without ever talking to me or attempting to talk with me. I get that it's a courteous gesture. Which is nice. Or that it could be some people's way of introducing themself. A person who might be too shy to pm or whatever other reason. But being Mr. Literal, it irks me to have people on mine I don't even speak with. So for anyone who was on mine and now isn't, no offense meant. It's just, we don't interact, so why bother calling each other friends. Again, I get that we're all in this community, etc, etc. But still. And as for the argument 'well why don't YOU message them' - I have, to most. And a lot of the times get no response. Which is okay. I don't want to obligate someone into conversing with me. So, yeah. Anyway, my point's made. Please don't inundate me with a bunch of sarcastic friend requests - lol.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I'll add someone if I relate to some of their posts or if I noticed that they're new with no or few friends. It's a way of showing camaraderie and making people comfortable. This is an SA forum, I think it's important to reach out.
I would never delete anyone on my list unless that became abusive. If they don't feel like talking, that's fine. After all, they have SA!

 

[Xervello]

Yeah, I get that. It's a sweet gesture. And good of you to do. But still, I'm just tired of empty gestures. I'd rather one or two people genuinely sought out my attention than twenty or thirty who just added me because of fill-in-the-blank.

And I have deleted people from mine. If that makes me a jerk, so be it.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I use to behave like that on Facebook (then I deleted my account). Social networking sites bring out my impulsive side. I do however always try to keep an open door. I don't really label anyone as a true friend unless I've spent a significant amount of time with them in person. The people here are to help me learn and grow.

*No, I don't think that makes you a jerk.

 

[Xervello]

Hmm, so you don't have anyone that you chat with exclusively online that you would deem a friend?

Yeah, I never Facebooked. Never really saw the point in it for me. I guess for some people it's their way of being expressive, but it can also be a vanity scrapbook for friends to mock. I like Twitter though. It's less of a resume of someone's life than a funny thought dump. Those that are truly funny are worth following.

 

[coyote]

the more walls you build around yourself

the smaller your world becomes

 

[Xervello]

True, coyote.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Hmm, so you don't have anyone that you chat with exclusively online that you would deem a friend?

Not as a true friend......No. I could see if you're talking online and on the phone that would be a little more personal. But, from my experience, true and solid friendships are created in person.