Friend turned against me

[Neebo]

I've been Socialphobic ever since I was in high school. In High school I had just one good friend,we'd known each other ever since we were in Infants school and we'd been very good friends for years and I used to go round to his house and vice/verse. However when we were in the third year of high school that is when my Socialphobia began to really get worse and my friend noticed that something was wrong. I wondered whether or not to tell him,then after a while I finally plucked up enough courage to do so. But then after telling him thats when he really changed and he really turned against me Basically he would take the piss out of me everyday and treated like me like shit. He could me all kinds of nasty names,some to bad that I won't reveal them. He turned into a real nasty bastard :x But it got worse and more personal not only did he make fun of my Socialphobia,but he also had a go at my features. You see I am of mixed race,my dad is Black African and mum is white. Being of African descent on my dads side, I have inherited the features that a black African has ie I have quite a broad,wide nose and he used to call me "flatnose" or "pancake nose". My ears are also a little bit on the big side too sohe would also "kindly" refer to me as "dumbo" or "jug ears". He was really nasty towards me Then if that wasn't enough as well as verbal abuse he would also be physically abusive. I remember once he used to go to Taekwondo lessons,and he karate style kicked me in the hip for virtually no reason at all I was just so shocked and upset at why he had turned like this 8O He would also gang up on me with other people as well. These day's I don't see him, haven't since high school and I hope I never see the bastard ever again for as long as I live :x His words have had a lasting effect on me though, I hate the way I look,I hate my nose and sticky out ears and wan't to get them "fixed" but can't afford plastic surgery. Has anyone else been through a similar experience or been treated badly by a "so called best friend"?

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hi Neebo, that sounds pretty traumatic! i haven't had a friend turn on me, more i've had bad friends that lied to me or used me. actually i've had plenty of them and i had to "break things off" with them. almost like a breakup. i can't take a friend like that.

now i've found people that have great hearts. i told myself that i would surround myself with people that cared about themselves and me. apparently your friend had some self-esteem issues if he felt he had to prey on something so sensitive to you. many things actually.

i'm pure 100% white like wonder bread but i'm attracted to mixed guys or from a completely different race. i don't say this for hitting on you but rather there's alot of people out there that feel being mixed is a bad thing, but there's more that see it as a beautiful thing. be proud of who you are. don't let his comments get you down or make you feel ugly, or whatever he's attacking you with. HE's got some problems inside and has proved to not be a very supportive friend.

find some more people - and they won't come right away, i've been on a friend finding frenzy (haha) and they deffinately come when you least expect it. 8)

 

[black_mamba]

find some more people - and they won't come right away, i've been on a friend finding frenzy (haha) and they deffinately come when you least expect it.

Gotta give me some tips about that sometime...

Neebo this so called friend sounds like an ass. Everyone has varying levels of loyality within them and some have zero. If I like someone and care about them I'm friends for life. I think a lot of folk on here are like that too.

I've had people hang around with me when they were bored only to 'dump' me when they met anyone more talkative. Please don't take those attacks on your appearance to heart. I've been teased about my looks too because I was a new race to them (middle eastern) and like you, would love plastic surgery full well knowing its not the way forward.

What if we both 'fix' ourselves only to find that our SP still holds us back from being confident? 8O 8O 8O

 

[Chilling__Echo]

What if we both 'fix' ourselves only to find that our SP still holds us back from being confident? Shocked Shocked Shocked

geez that makes me feel like i'm in a bad horror film. and that's one of the famous lines in the movie. like in poltergeist "they're heeere" where you go "oh my god nooo!!" or the dun dun dun dun music in Jaws... i can' think of any more

 

[black_mamba]

(I knew I shouldn't have nicked chilling echo's medication)

:wink:

 

[Jack7]

My "best friend" at primary school and secondary school did the same to me. Tried to push me in front of a bus while my Mum was there once. I think he works in Tesco or something now, stacking shelves. I'm at the third best University in the country, so I don't really care. He was a t*t.

People have called me "Flatface" and said I look like someone hit me with a frying pan. Also, people have always made fun of me for my hair, throughout my life. I don't know why, there's nothing wrong with it. Everyone just seems to think I'm humorous somehow. They're all ugly idiots so I don't know how they can talk, but of course they all love each other so it's not like they're going to turn on each other, they take it out on people they don't know.

 

[Kalima]

Jack7, you're really funny.

 

[outside_looking_in]

Hi Neebo ... I'm attached, but just to say I also find mixed race guys very attractive! Also on my first day at primary school I was drawn to this sad looking girl sitting on her own ... she turned out to be spiteful and manipulative and plagued my first few years of school, though i suppose you could say she was never a friend in the first place. But I expected her to react to my overtures in a friendly way and so her nastiness was particularly hurtful.
Most of my nicknames were name-related but I was called Chinky for a while because my eyes narrowed when I laughed (don't everyone's?) but it stopped me laughing for the rest of school More fool me, eh! :lol:

 

[SPECTACULAR]

I also find mixed race guys very attractive!

i'm pure 100% white like wonder bread but i'm attracted to mixed guys or from a completely different race

oh wait a minute, i'm a mixed race too. acctually, i'm the most mixed race i have ever known. my dad is Saudi, my mom is Egyptian and i was born in USA. three nationaliteis. three different races. you can love me if you want girls! :roll:
i'm just kidding.

but let's get back to the pooint neebo. you should never be ashamed of your different races. as a general rule, you should never be ashamed of something you had no control over. Believe me, if my cat starting to regret being a cat and wished she was a tiger i would kick her out. you know why? because that's the first step to wishing being a lion!

 

[annie]

Hi Neebo,

That 'so called friend' what a nasty piece of work he is. Mate you are better off without him. I know it is hard for you to forget the names he called you and the physical abuse he inflicted on you, but with time that will pass
I tell you I am a girl or should I say a lady, but if anyone called me any names or tried to hit me, well they would get a mouthful from me and plus a fist, especially if they are attacking me because I have a psychological disorder. I believe that people like 'us' are quite intelligent, more smarter than the average person.
I believe I am a kind and giving person, however, anyone crosses me deliberately to hurt, they are gonners.
You have plenty of friends here neebo, let the jerk be a jerk - he probably has his own insecurities.
By the way I with Chilling I also am attracted to mixed guys or from a completely different race.

Take care

annie

 

[ScaredGirl]

Oh my gosh Neebo I so sorry you had those experiences. I'll bet you are handsome and that 'friend' was just trying to eliminate the competition!

As a parent... if you were my own child I would be telling you that everyone has something about them that someone is going to critisize, it's the 'fellow-upstairs' way of providing you with opportunities to learn how to protect yourself. :wink: Then I would talk with you about how this could be done and roleplay if necessary. Yup, I'm not a 'turn the other cheek kinda gal' My own child experienced something similar but was to afraid to fight back so we taught her how to use her words and told her we would not discpline her if she had to defend herself at school. She was not allowed to start a fight, but she was allowed to protect herself. We also told her to keep her eyes sharp because a kid with a mean tongue will be like that with others as well and looking for the other kids will help her to understand that she is not the problem - it is the other child.

I'll bet your ex-best friend was nasty to more people then just yourself. By the way, I had the same thing happen. My own 'bestfriend' used me as the brunt of jokes to build herself up in front of the guys. I was hurt and didn't understand it at the time but now I know she has relationship problems with everyone both male and female. She's now divorced twice has troubles keeping partners at her job etc...

It's the person who is loud who is the problem, not you.

SG

 

[Neebo]

Thank's guys for all your replies and for your support I'm sorry to hear about all your bad experiences with "so called best friends"too. I hope in the future that I will be able to make friends with people or a person who isn't so ignorant about my Socialphobia and race and can accept me for who I am.

 

[Yossarian]

You can't let this experience hold you back from finding new friends Neebo. Not everyone is as ignorant as this person. There are many great people in this world and by letting this hold you back from finding them, you will have let this scumbag hurt you even more. Don't let people like that stop you from finding happiness.

 

[outside_looking_in]

Quote:
I also find mixed race guys very attractive!

Quote:
i'm pure 100% white like wonder bread but i'm attracted to mixed guys or from a completely different race

oh wait a minute, i'm a mixed race too. acctually, i'm the most mixed race i have ever known. my dad is Saudi, my mom is Egyptian and i was born in USA. three nationaliteis. three different races. you can love me if you want girls!
i'm just kidding.

Hee hee hee ... The serious point is, though, that Chilling Echo and I can't be the only ones. What you think of as a 'problem' that makes you different is an attraction for someone else. Hope it puts a twinkle in your lovely dark eyes, guys!

 

[Jack7]

Jack7, you're really funny.

Thanks!

 

[Sue]

i get rid of people who make me feel bad about myselfand now i have only two really close friends. its not quantity its quality.