Foregiveness

[EscapeArtist]

I hear sometimes that social anxiety is a form of post traumatic stress disorder. For some people it is, for those who just haven't developed social skills I suppose it isn't. But for those who are fearful, I'd have to agree.

Yeah, stupid source, but I was watching Oprah a week ago or so. The show was about men who were sexually abused as children. I realize that this can also cause post trauma. They were speaking about how to move on, and she gave a really good definition of forgiveness. "Letting go of the hope that things could have been any different" or something along those lines. How many of us have forgiven those who have taunted us, or judged us, or taught us to judge ourselves so critically? If you think that a part of your anxiety was "caused" by other people in some way, whether how you were raised, or being bullied in some way, have you forgiven those people, in this way?

 

[lavender]

I haven't completely, but I am working on it.
My SA is rooted in how I was treated by a parent when my agoraphobia started(I was 10). Every time that person is around I try to remind myself that they will never and can never be the person that I needed them to be, and I start to feel better. It helps me to see them differently, because I separate my pain from them, and can see them as a whole person who's equally screwed up as I am.

I dunno what I said was what you're asking, but yeah, I think there's validity in "Letting go of the hope that things could have been any different".

 

[3lefts]

I think there's validity in "Letting go of the hope that things could have been any different".

Agreed, that quote basically says everything.
However I think it is separate from forgiveness. I think forgiveness is actually very irrelevant, a distraction at most.

 

[hoddesdon]

Perhaps it is not a hope, but the realisation that, as Shakespeare said, it is impractical to "call back yesterday, bid time return".

 

[KiaKaha]

I try. But its hard because it doesnt make sense to me. I dont understand why others make people suffer for no reason, and this is part of the reason I have difficulty letting go whilst harboring resentment. It makes me feel angry. Another point is that it doesnt stop... you would think as an adult, all the crap that you get as a child would stop... but it doesnt.. people still treat you like dirt for no reason, even when you havent done anything to deserve it. I had a bad day. Please forgive my pessimism, but my sentiments still ring true.

 

[Kiwong]

Right now I can't. Something happened to me last year that really hurt me on a deep level. I feel damaged and scarred by it. I have thought about forgiving and moving on, but I am scared to even face the people responsible. It hurt me so much that I simply can't risk the same thing happening.

 

[kihira]

Right now I can't. Something happened to me last year that really hurt me on a deep level. I feel damaged and scarred by it. I have thought about forgiving and moving on, but I am scared to even face the people responsible. It hurt me so much that I simply can't risk the same thing happening.

Hey, what happened? I'm guessing it was to do with the Masters Comps? PM me if you need an ear. Its OK, too, if you don't

 

[Kiwong]

Cheers Phocas. It was running related. I need to face up to this again next season and I don't know what to do. I've told everyone at running that I suffer from anxiety, but if the same people do not believe me and the same mispresentation happens then I am lost.

 

[Fighter86]

I forgive, but unfortunately I almost never forget.