Feel like they're better than you?

[dystortion_d]

anyone put the friend on a pedestal? or the girl? i thought that i was alone, and i mean lets face it, i won't meat another APD person, or that i know of. they'll prolly be at home, like iam. ugh.
does anyone else feel like you have to have better traits or something to be able to talk to someone? like they are the god, and your a lowly worm that stammers when he talks? i do, and my mind is so fargone that before i can talk to someone, in 5 seconds i would of analyzed them, determined if they remind me of someone i like/don't like, and shooed them out of my mind or give them an extra 3 seconds to prove themselves. why???? anyone else feel me or am i alone yet again?

 

[eR1k]

Yes I know how you feel, I've been at that same place you are now. But I made an important discovery which has helped me tremendously and now I feel everyone on this planet is my equal.
I realised that when people displayed certain behaviour towards me, which made me feel bad, where the exact same behaviours I wanted to feel. In short I disliked the popular guy, because I wanted to be popular as well. In fact I really didn't dislike him that much at all afterall.

When I started to realise people are unique, but not very different, my journey to selfimprovement started. I could also be that popular guy, because I choose to. I started to improve every aspect of my life to close the gap between the "popular guy" and myself. In my world I smashed that pedestal into pieces and now we play the game of life on the same level.

I started to work on my social skills, which were non-existand at the time, and now I've reached a point where I can chat up complete strangers with confidence. When you are aware of your unique strengths and improve all aspects of yourself all the time, your self respect will start to grow and your inner flame will light up.

In my eyes dystortion_d you are standing in a dark tunnel, pitch black. But there is an escape out, have faith and become active in improving your life. You will see the light at the end of tunnel when you have become active in improving your life and as you see the light at the end of the tunnel you will find new motivation you have never experienced before. Have faith and choose to make it happen for yourself, because your deserve to be happy.

 

[dystortion_d]

you could be right. i forgot if i put it but im bipolar 2. what's funny is, i think i just want to be found out. Like everything i always post regards me judging people, the same word pops up, either judging, or not liking. i realized i WANT people to hate me, because honestly, i don't know what it's like to be liked, and being confident in that. i don't know how to survive without some sort of spotlight. oh god how many more diagnoses am i gonna go through....

i forgot how to turn off italics! GURRRR! also, i always feel like someone is constantly agreeing with my negative thoughts.

 

[eR1k]

i always feel like someone is constantly agreeing with my negative thoughts.[/i]

Yes no one will ever put more severe judgment on your soul than your own mind. The mind works in a funny way, once it starts to believe in something; "I am shy" for instance, it will start to find ONLY new evidence supporting this belief and nothing against it. After a while once this believe becomes ingrained in your personality your uncunsious mind will no longer see the outgoing and fun person you really are, and still are trust me on that !

You will need to show your uncunsious mind through action in real life, his beliefs are outdated and no longer apply to you. Through real life action your mind will start to find evidence why you ARE a fun outgoing person instead of looking for the opposite "I am shy". It's all about changing those rusty old beliefs to finnaly get rid of the judgment you aim at yourself.

Someone is constantly agreeing with my negative thoughts

It's not someone else it's your own uncunsious mind, I hope you realise this. People just play along with whatever image of self worth you have created for yourself. But this is also your greatest strength, you can choose to change all this ridiculous self hatred into self respect and happiness !

Next time when you meet someone new, try to get to know this person and keep an open mind. You will start to realise people want you to be happy and want you to achieve your goals. Have faith and keep on improving, I know you can !

 

[slowmotiondaydream]

its a shit ordeal to go through. i couldnt go pass and no comment on here.. especially when i read

'something to be able to talk to someone'

so if i understand correctly you dont know what to talk about with people. ive come across it ALWAYS .. for example i'd yearn to say 'hi' to someone (ive started UNI) but i think what happens after?
then i consider if i wont say 'hi' then i havnt got anything to worry about after. in the end i dont say anything which is an advantage because i dont have to talk and quickly make osmething up after ive said 'hi', but really.. its a stupid idea because your decreasing your chances of actually have friends.

argh! i hate it

i wish i knew what to say without the constant worries about what i might say!

 

[eR1k]

but really.. its a stupid idea because your decreasing your chances of actually have friends.

Ironic isn't it. My personal experience is, once your pain of not having close friends surpasses the fear, you will take more social risks. It starts to give you social experience, which will help beyond believe to make the new friends you have always wanted.
Your desire to get what you want, should be greater than your fear.

 

[dystortion_d]

wow thanks erik thats pretty helpful. much better than the myspace website for this, social anxiety or whatever. they just complain but no one helps...yeah i already know why i feel this, but before i say it everyone with SA has to realize that it's not part of them, it's a COMPLEX. just like the oedipus complex, stockholm syndrome, fetishes, it's bad, but it's NOT your fault.
mine happened because my depression is so bad i basically forgot who i am. It's gonna take a while, and i need to get off medication so i can get my pieces glued back together. thanks.

 

[dystortion_d]

oh does anyone know how to not be so sensitive during conversations? especially with criticism? i always feel someone's gonna jump out and call me out on something. ridiculous.

 

[eR1k]

oh does anyone know how to not be so sensitive during conversations? especially with criticism? i always feel someone's gonna jump out and call me out on something. ridiculous.

The problem is when you fear of being critisized, you end up interpreting certain comments as offending when infact the other person ment something entirely different.

I think you will start to lose your sensitivity when you start your journey to recovery and your self respect starts to grow. When you become assertive no one can change your reality, because in the end ONLY you decide how you feel.

In the mean time I have a sweet little sentence which works all the time, and I still use it whenever I need to. I learned it from a friend who is a full blown Alpha Male and it works wonders.
The next time people critisize you say the following sentence, BUT you have to keep your cool, don't show you're agitated, try to keep your emotions under control that's very important.

Say:

"Ask me if I care" , when you ask this with a small grin on your face you will make a bold statement. It shows you are confident, you don't need their aproval, and it makes you feel better about yourself because you didn't let your reality get influenced by an outsider. You are a king in your own reality, remember that.

The reaction you will get to that statement; some people will drop the subject immediately due to your assertiveness, some people will start to gigle because of your wit. Try it out and see it for yourself !

 

[SocialRetahd]

"Ask me if I care" , when you ask this with a small grin on your face you will make a bold statement. It shows you are confident, you don't need their aproval, and it makes you feel better about yourself because you didn't let your reality get influenced by an outsider. You are a king in your own reality, remember that.

The reaction you will get to that statement; some people will drop the subject immediately due to your assertiveness, some people will start to gigle because of your wit. Try it out and see it for yourself !

Thats not a witty thing to say, it just makes you sound like a rude jerkoff. I remember kids saying, "ask me if I care", in 3rd grade!

 

[eR1k]

"Ask me if I care" , when you ask this with a small grin on your face you will make a bold statement. It shows you are confident, you don't need their aproval, and it makes you feel better about yourself because you didn't let your reality get influenced by an outsider. You are a king in your own reality, remember that.

The reaction you will get to that statement; some people will drop the subject immediately due to your assertiveness, some people will start to gigle because of your wit. Try it out and see it for yourself !

Thats not a witty thing to say, it just makes you sound like a rude jerkoff. I remember kids saying, "ask me if I care", in 3rd grade!

No not really, you have to understand the underlying message to that sentence. It's all about delivery, if you can say it with confidence, if you say it without making the other person feel bad about themselfs, it's a very effective way to show your assertiveness. Most of the time I get people laughing when I respond in this manner.

However what you can't believe you can't concieve. You do need some level of confidence and social skills to pull this of effectively. It's the Alpha mindset that makes all the difference. When you say this question in a bitter manner, from a beta male mindset, it will be interpreted as offending and rude. There is a fine line.