Feel like I live just to be angry now

[yesman]

Okay, look. We all hate it when other people make mistakes that affect us negatively, right? Like, say you need a ride for an important job interview, and your ride is late. You would OBVIOUSLY get angry at him or her.

But, I just LOVE it when other people make mistakes that screw me over. Nowadays, I constantly look for reasons to get angry at others. As long as I didn't make any mistakes while other people do, I feel like I have a right to make people cry.

You see, for the past year or so, I have decided that there is no reason for me to live. The only reason why I didn't commit suicide was because it would affect my parents, the only people who take me seriously, horribly. So starting very recently, my favourite source of amusement was picking peoples' faults apart, and letting THEM know how angry I am.

Now there's no particular reason why I'm writing all of this, aside from the fact that I have a lot of work to do, and I can't STAY angry and do work at the same time. But I'll find a way, someday.

 

[live]

I'd say you're going down a path that is not a good one at all. Its great that you understand what you are doing and what makes you feel good, but you need to find another way to entertain yourself. The things you have described are obviously not the way to foster good relationships.

What you're looking for I think (because I have felt similar emotions/thoughts and have come to know why I feel/think them) is just excuses, ways to get out of responsibility for things. You have to work at doing things, little things. Like screaming and acting crazy, whatever it takes to literally GETOVER YOURSELF (like, past the part of you that is stopping you from doing things).

Thats kinda my diagnosis of myself, applied to what you were talking about.

And you can find a way. I always think I have 'found' my way, but in the end I am only getting myself hyped up over nothing, its hard to describe. But I think I'm getting there, I know what I have to do, its just a matter of doing it.

 

[yesman]

Oh boy. I actually wrote all this when I was in an incredibly bad mood yesterday. Now that I've calmed down, I realized that I kinda made myself look bad. Sorry about that...

 

[Razzlecherry]

Your sins are forgiven my child. In the name of the father, the son and the holy razzlecherry.

 

[live]

Thats quite alright, I'm actually relieved to hear that that wasn't the whole "you" speaking in that post. Still though, you did say it so it did some from somewhere, so I'm holding you 33% accountable! Granted, we all have our moments. Just watch yourself when you get into a situation where something that you/someone wanted to get done didn't get done and you start making excuses. I listen to my inner dialogue and I can be quite the crybaby with the world out to get me sometimes.

Do you know what caused you to be in such a bad mood yesterday?