recluse
Well-known member
I've had this fear of forgetting things i've learnt since my final school exams (gcse's) in 1997. At that time when it came to revising things for the final exams i became obsessed with going over things which i deem important to me over and over almost constantly, like for example in an English exam i beame obsessed with reciting a poem we had to learn in my mind until it became an almost constant loop, which continued even long after the exams finished.
Anyway after school i started to get the habit of going over pre planned conversation in case the need arose, for the fear of my mind going blank and being in one of those dreaded uncomfortable silence situations(not helped by comments that i was boring). The crazy thing was that when it came to the siuation the pre planned convo's never took place because my mind would get blank and they would be unsuitable to the situation. Still i could not get out of the habit.
During the past few years up to present i have had the same problem as i had during my school exams. For example i took up learning guitar in 2004, and recently i have taken up Karate. I find that i have the same fear of forgetting what i have learnt and having to re learn. I find that i can never relax my mind because i am constantly thinking of the stuff i've learnt. My brain tells me that if i stop thinking i will totally forget and will have to start fom scratch.
As you can imagine life is not fun for me because i constantly feel mental stress from obsessing. My mind aches from the obsessing...The looping thoughts drive me crazy. I try to block out my thoughts but i begin to feel panicky....Kind of like i am going through withdrawl from not thinking. This is one reason i don't drink, because of the fear of forgetting.
Another thing i do is obsess over events which made me happy which i re live to the smallest detail in my mind..Kind of because i am not happy about my present life and feel the need to be somewhere else. Again also for the fear of forgetting who i am and the things which have made me happy.
Anyway after school i started to get the habit of going over pre planned conversation in case the need arose, for the fear of my mind going blank and being in one of those dreaded uncomfortable silence situations(not helped by comments that i was boring). The crazy thing was that when it came to the siuation the pre planned convo's never took place because my mind would get blank and they would be unsuitable to the situation. Still i could not get out of the habit.
During the past few years up to present i have had the same problem as i had during my school exams. For example i took up learning guitar in 2004, and recently i have taken up Karate. I find that i have the same fear of forgetting what i have learnt and having to re learn. I find that i can never relax my mind because i am constantly thinking of the stuff i've learnt. My brain tells me that if i stop thinking i will totally forget and will have to start fom scratch.
As you can imagine life is not fun for me because i constantly feel mental stress from obsessing. My mind aches from the obsessing...The looping thoughts drive me crazy. I try to block out my thoughts but i begin to feel panicky....Kind of like i am going through withdrawl from not thinking. This is one reason i don't drink, because of the fear of forgetting.
Another thing i do is obsess over events which made me happy which i re live to the smallest detail in my mind..Kind of because i am not happy about my present life and feel the need to be somewhere else. Again also for the fear of forgetting who i am and the things which have made me happy.