Fear of ..everything
- Thread starter BC-chick
- Start date
Boby
Well-known member
Uhh I manged to read it all 
.
The way I see it is that your bf have friends and family while you don't and you you are jealous and try to take him away from them...well to put it bluntly you are a bit selfish.Of course he should give you all the attention you require as his gf and maybe future wife but he doesn't need to cut all other relationships that he has with his family/friends because of you.
As you said you are the weak one in the relationship because you don't have friends and family but the point that you are missing here is that it's not his fault,you try to pull him away from his family/friends because of your problems not his problems.Of course he should help you with that and you are entitled to demand help from him.
Anyway he seems indeed a bit to focused on his family but you don't have any power,all you can demand from him is,as I said, a minimum of attention and that's all.The bottom line is that you need to make new friends ,you can't just focus your life around your bf and expect to drag him with you in your lonely world.
Also think from his point of view ,what if you and him move to Europe close to your family and far away from his family/friends will you be happy if he would ask you not to visit your family?
.The way I see it is that your bf have friends and family while you don't and you you are jealous and try to take him away from them...well to put it bluntly you are a bit selfish.Of course he should give you all the attention you require as his gf and maybe future wife but he doesn't need to cut all other relationships that he has with his family/friends because of you.
As you said you are the weak one in the relationship because you don't have friends and family but the point that you are missing here is that it's not his fault,you try to pull him away from his family/friends because of your problems not his problems.Of course he should help you with that and you are entitled to demand help from him.
Anyway he seems indeed a bit to focused on his family but you don't have any power,all you can demand from him is,as I said, a minimum of attention and that's all.The bottom line is that you need to make new friends ,you can't just focus your life around your bf and expect to drag him with you in your lonely world.
Also think from his point of view ,what if you and him move to Europe close to your family and far away from his family/friends will you be happy if he would ask you not to visit your family?
market.garden
Well-known member
Sounds like you're in a tough situation, and maybe subconsciously you do want to have him to yourself. It can be difficult when you feel alone and he has loads of family members (I have a middle eastern family on one side too, so I know how crazy the the numbers can be!).
I know its not a good suggestion to hear when you have SA, but having your own group of friends, through work or uni or wherever, will make you feel like you have you're own life, separate from your boyfriend.
With regards to his family, for whatever reason, his sister doesn't get on with you, probably as you mentioned because she has no friends of her own. Maybe she's bitter. Maybe she doesn't want someone 'taking her brother away'?
Have you tried learning the language his family speak? You could do home learning or get your boyfriend to teach you? Maybe that way you could feel more involved and get to know them better.
And if I were in your situation, if I could, I'd try and visit Europe more often to see your family there. I think in a situation such as yours, feeling alone and seeing your boyfriend with his large, close family, it could do a person some real benefit to be back with their own family for a week or two.
You seem to be focusing a lot on what he has versus what you have. In any situation that's not always a helpful mindset.
I know its not a good suggestion to hear when you have SA, but having your own group of friends, through work or uni or wherever, will make you feel like you have you're own life, separate from your boyfriend.
With regards to his family, for whatever reason, his sister doesn't get on with you, probably as you mentioned because she has no friends of her own. Maybe she's bitter. Maybe she doesn't want someone 'taking her brother away'?
Have you tried learning the language his family speak? You could do home learning or get your boyfriend to teach you? Maybe that way you could feel more involved and get to know them better.
And if I were in your situation, if I could, I'd try and visit Europe more often to see your family there. I think in a situation such as yours, feeling alone and seeing your boyfriend with his large, close family, it could do a person some real benefit to be back with their own family for a week or two.
You seem to be focusing a lot on what he has versus what you have. In any situation that's not always a helpful mindset.