fear of being judged

[rachel]

Hi im also new here and after seeing some posts i decided i'll unburden some of my thoguhts here as well..
i've had SP for a number of years and now am 20 and going to uni. i find i have gotten better over the years in the sense that i no longer shake/feel tense sitting on buses and in lectures and feel that the desensitisation from being exposing myself to people has helped. however i still profusely and shake now and then in social situtions.
but my biggest problem is that i am so scared of being judged. and having what i see as a bad skin problem does not help! i try not to talk to people if i feel that doing so would mean them looking at me closely or being surrounded in a group, adn that's why i think i may come off as being too aloof or arrogant, or just plain boring...and i think that people always see me as boring and unfriendly...but i want to be friendly but doing so would mean more social interactiosn so its a vicious circle.

if i didn't hae SP i would be getting a BF by now and doing all sorts of stuff socially. i just sometimes think of the things that im missing out and cry my eyes out. just had an episode today
after reading some of you guys' problems i so can identify with them and ironically it makes me feel better that there are other people out there just like me because it feels like im the only person walking around uni that has SP and i cannot reach out anywhere...i've told my parents and some friends but its not the same as sharing your problems with those who understand..
i hope you guys find ways to deal with this and hoepfully we can try to get through it together...the best thing i found so far is desensitisation...i know it is extrememly hard but starting from very small tasks that you fear can be a good starting point
:wink:

 

[Scottish_Player]

Hi Rachel,welcome to the forum glad you have found it and i hope it helps you get sorted :wink:

 

[black_mamba]

Hey rachel welcome, I'm also a bit of a newbie here. What do you study at uni?

<--is a stoodent too.

 

[skins]

Hi rachel welcome to the forum ive just discovered this forum as well and i find it does help to read about others who have similar problems which you can relate too. i also hope to 1 day meet up with ppl on this forum as being able to share your experiences with other sp sufferers wold be be a good experience i reckon maybe even be lucky enough to join a self help group in my local area or something, as like you said its hard to try and explain your situation to others like family who don't have it and just say 'oh i think your over-reacting a little' your just shy.....
don't think your the only one walking round campus with sp, your probably even passing who are just the same. i'm 23 now, went to uni start of 2000 for 3 yrs. like you i often feel like i had missed out on a lot of things in life because of sp, but then again i experienced a lot of the partying and socialising and being a dick during my h/s days and sort of settled down after going to uni and just accepted that that sort of thing didn't interest me anymore...u just gotto find your rythm i guess. anyway i found the more interaction or 'desensitisation' as you put it the better you get....so even tho it can be hard sometimes you gottaencourage yourself as much as you can and don't feel bad about walking around uni alone sometimes, look around at how many other ppl are doing it!

by joining this forum its a small but important step at getting over sp so congrats, i know it takes time but i reckon we will all get there in the end. btw what part of oz are your from.....end of rant. cheers! 8)

 

[ScaredGirl]

Judging them is my problem

I know that I am judged by other people but I think that how *I* judge them is far worse. I pick people in the 3d apart as an excuse to not get close. Time for this nonsense to end, particularly since I am overall a positive person. The SF is making me into something I am not.

Time to conquor it.

Scared Girl

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hey rachel and welcome! also a student and can relate! you seem to have your hopes still which is all you need if you want to improve, don't let yourself sink so low that you don't want to get back up. but you sound like you're on a great path and glad to know it. keep hanging in there b/c as you've seen, you're not alone

 

[rachel]

Hello guys,
thanx for the replies and sorry for replying now. but now that the exams are past me...

i study bachelor commerce and in my second year, and i live in Sydney.

which cities do you guys live in ?

 

[believesomething]

which cities do you guys live in ?

Well - I'm a newbie to the site and another Sydney-sider as well. Nothing like living in the biggest city in the country, right?

Rachel I think your approach sounds good - positive - and I too think anything needs to be won over in small steps....

As a side note - cheers to all on here - so far it has been great reading about similar people in similar situations with similar problems - there's comfort in that for me, I hope it's the same for everyone!

Believe.

 

[mike_sp]

Yeah , i definatley think there something therapuedic about reading posts here from fellow sp sufferes.
At the very least you know your not alone and that in itself really helps.

 

[ThatLonelyKid]

I live in Louisiana. What was it like livin' as a teen with S.A. in Australia.

 

[dying]

it sux noone understands, they do judge, they do laugh, they are only human i guess

 

[guyinMD]

sp does suck, I recently got it when I started to go to church where people judged my clothes, and my character. Its a church nobody is perfect, everybody is a sinner and we all go for some comfort. I guess its my fault, sometimes I put myself in a situation and things happen. but the thing is I started to judge myself, and judge others, maybe its kharma. today is friday and everybody is out and about, maybe some loners like me have nothing to do, but sometimes I like it, I don't have to conform to social groups. cause if I don't I'm just gonna get the look,
seriously, I don't know what to do, I thought about moving to another country where people don't judge foreigners as much like japan or Africa.
just another person. Here in the U.S. its different, people are so competitive nowadays and they're willing to step on or prevent people from doing better in life. guys in general are competitive, i can't even comprehend what its like to be a girl. lastly, people are on different pages in life, I can't expect someone on page 123 to read page 5 all over again and I hope no one expects me backtrack to the introduction. we're all trying to finish the book, but some know more than others and I can't stand it when people are reading ahead of me.

 

[zealot]

i told my school counselor i have s. a. d,but he think im just label my self as s,a,d.whats a crappy counselor.