Scared Dreamer
Member
I may be experiencing false memories. I keep getting a constant feeling of deja vu. I keep remembering really traumatic events that people said didn't happen. I couldn't sleep all last night and I'm not even remotely tired. I keep accidently moving my eyes in a ocd sort of way (I have ocd.)
Last night I worried that my grandfather molested my sister and I as kids. I was worried my grandmother had seen and either didn't tell my parents or they knew and can't tell me because it's too tramitising. I heard her voice in my head as though it was a memory saying "so and so" how could you, to my grandfather. I was worried he was the real reason I'm still afraid of "ghosts" in their house even though I am an adult. I was worried he had caused me to bleed like I had my period even though I was a child. My family still visits them though and my father seems ok with them. I keep thinking something is weird with either my grandmother or grandfather but they have always been very strict so it could be that. I also worried that I had gone to a small party in college where I became really drunk. I was worried I had a flashback of this and admitted it out loud to everyone. I then said I was going to be sick and had diarrhea in front of everyone. My friends blocked me and said everyone look away while they took me to the bathroom to help me out. I asked my friends this morning and they said it didn't happen.
I resonantly embarrassed myself in front of a guy I used to go to school with. I can't remember exactly what happen. I keep thinking they hypnotized me into admitting every embarrassed/negative thing that has happen in my life. I think I remember passing out, acting out of character, having elated or depressed emotions, inappropriate arousal, farting, and picking my nose. I keep thinking they set me up for something to prove/disprove I was a good person. People are jelicious of me for winning awards so it is a possibility. I have been thinking about this event for month in a non stop thought loop. During the event I had exhibiting my ocd symptoms and at times constantly did repetitive movements. My eyes also did this which is abnormal.
I also met a guy through my friend from this past event that told me he was going to have me look for him through this forum and then he wanted me to remember his name and look for him on facebook. I weirdly think I found him. He knows I have avoidant personality disorder which makes me forget things easily. I was afraid last night he said he wanted to make me forget about the possible rape of my grandfather by being too rough with me and making me bleed. I wrote to this guy on facebook and he said he hasn't walked me to the train ever and is acting like he doesn't know me. The guy I met said he would do that though to test my memory.
I don't have much sense of time right now and I have been acting weird for a month. I don't have much motivation to do anything. I have no idea what is going on.
Last night I worried that my grandfather molested my sister and I as kids. I was worried my grandmother had seen and either didn't tell my parents or they knew and can't tell me because it's too tramitising. I heard her voice in my head as though it was a memory saying "so and so" how could you, to my grandfather. I was worried he was the real reason I'm still afraid of "ghosts" in their house even though I am an adult. I was worried he had caused me to bleed like I had my period even though I was a child. My family still visits them though and my father seems ok with them. I keep thinking something is weird with either my grandmother or grandfather but they have always been very strict so it could be that. I also worried that I had gone to a small party in college where I became really drunk. I was worried I had a flashback of this and admitted it out loud to everyone. I then said I was going to be sick and had diarrhea in front of everyone. My friends blocked me and said everyone look away while they took me to the bathroom to help me out. I asked my friends this morning and they said it didn't happen.
I resonantly embarrassed myself in front of a guy I used to go to school with. I can't remember exactly what happen. I keep thinking they hypnotized me into admitting every embarrassed/negative thing that has happen in my life. I think I remember passing out, acting out of character, having elated or depressed emotions, inappropriate arousal, farting, and picking my nose. I keep thinking they set me up for something to prove/disprove I was a good person. People are jelicious of me for winning awards so it is a possibility. I have been thinking about this event for month in a non stop thought loop. During the event I had exhibiting my ocd symptoms and at times constantly did repetitive movements. My eyes also did this which is abnormal.
I also met a guy through my friend from this past event that told me he was going to have me look for him through this forum and then he wanted me to remember his name and look for him on facebook. I weirdly think I found him. He knows I have avoidant personality disorder which makes me forget things easily. I was afraid last night he said he wanted to make me forget about the possible rape of my grandfather by being too rough with me and making me bleed. I wrote to this guy on facebook and he said he hasn't walked me to the train ever and is acting like he doesn't know me. The guy I met said he would do that though to test my memory.
I don't have much sense of time right now and I have been acting weird for a month. I don't have much motivation to do anything. I have no idea what is going on.
