False Hope!!

[LA323]

its all false hope, i sometimes have very good days, and say to myself, "yeah im getting better, i can do this, im gonna beat this, im a better person", but sooner or later, something gets u from the feet and brings u down, and ur back to being the same old miserable person u once were, and just keep on longing for a cure. Its like u cant enjoy success to the fullest, u just get a taste of it. THIS FUCKEN SUCKS, AND IS A HORRIBLE,HORRIBLE WAY 2 LIVE, AND I DONT WISH THIS TO NO ONE, ITS LIKE BEING PRISONER OF UR OWN BODY, FUCK MAN. THIS BLOWS

 

[GettingThere]

It certainly sucks big time.

It is however, beatable. People do get over it. The frustrating thing is that its not like getting over a knee injury - there is no set timetable. All you can do is follow the advice you are given, try not to beat yourself up too much, try to be patient, and hang in there.

 

[Dill]

You can say that again Masterpiece. IT SUCKS.

Does anyone know if exposure works?
Cos Im starting to try it out. ( Things like using a internet cafe, like right know, and going on a date )

Im just gonna go for it, despite me being terrified.

Wish me luck.
I think you should try it to, Masterpiece.

 

[Anonymous]

hey yeah it comes and goes. i tend to try and achieve stuff while im in an okay phase and then when things are bad i can just do the minimum required to continue...theres always a temptation to overdo it when youre okay..i had mates with m.e who used to do exactly that..wake up feeling good? 18 mile walk then! next day totally die..i get a bit like that...i have a bad habit of arranging things in my optimism that i cant follow through when im in an sp slump...like next week i invited people to see this play and im already regretting it..i also have a party next week which i optimistically accepted the invitation to! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! and now i just wanna stay in bed but...hey..ill go and do it..maybe its a good thing..i dunno...sorry im rambling lol..

 

[Anonymous]

It is very frustrating, but then again most illnesses are. And i'm convinced it can be beat... Well those words are a bit strong, "i think it can be controlled" would be better. And i get those days two, the ratio of good to bad days is always changing. Like i have a really good week, then it all comes crashing down the next. I think SP is such a paradox cuz i hate it and love it at the same time. I hate how it makes me feel, how hard it makes my life, how painful it is. But then again, I love the insight i've received, The preception of this reality around me. And no, it's not true to say that we SP's alter the reality around us, or mold it in our own understanding so that we are in the position of being right: you know how we do: Criticize everything and everyone, thinking how oblivious every 'normal' person is, blindly living there lives, socializing and talking about nothing!! Some might say we do this to make us feel like at least we are in the right (making it a defense machinsim), but i disagree. People are lost, The majority is always in the wrong, because norms are the easiest to accept. The foundation of this world we live in where we work and spend and talk is NOT THE RIGHT PATH!! People are mislead and they dont even know it... What ever happened to spirituality, Peace with the mind, body, and soul- love of nature, personal mystical experience of the supernatural forces of this world? That is the reason why we are here, and people dont know it anymore, Not to work, and buy "toys" and talk about football games... these are all illusions. The world is full of pain and suffereing but to most, this is nothing more then a News Headline that is read and thrown away.

That's what makes it hard to deal with people and look them in the eye (they are fake).. I want real emotions, i want real conversations. They say we can never fully feel with others because communication is an illusion : your idea of "love" is different from mine. Or as Alford Huxley put it:" We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves... Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain... Every human group is a society of island Universes...

Basically, we can never fully share our experiences, not even through communication; we can get the idea but never truly know...

I'm pretty sure most of you who are conscious of their SP, have realized this about the world, and have felt pain, as well as joy (never taking joy for granted again)... But what im convinced of the most is that each and every one of us, has learned compassion (even if you havn't realized it yet). Have you spoke to anyone who was sick or in pain, do you realize that they relate to you more, and open up to you? Well i have.. And these are real emotions, real moments... Where is compassion in our world ? it's rare... through this pain, we've learnt of compassion, and once we are able to control the pain, we are stronger then ever. You are the ones who shake the world.

I apologize, i went on for too long and i hope i didnt bore any of you let me just end with this (and again im sure many know this; i'm sure it works) but the only solution is:

1)Know yourself fully (strenghts and weaknesses ) :Know Thyself

2) love and respect yourself: To thine own self be true.

3) Keep physically and mentally healthy: Meditate, breathe, focus on your body.

4) Try to see the Good in people.

5) Always look for the beauty in this world, no matter where you are... (i.e. the crowd of people dancing in unison at a rave with the flamboyant light projections bouncing off their bodies has some beauty in it, if you look for it)

Again i could be wrong, and this might just be what works for me ( and it is working), but give it a try... All i know is that as former ardent atheist, with severe SP, depression and suicidal tendencies, i've naturally witnessed the truths mentioned in the sum of worldly religions and all this was due to the pain and suffereing I, we all went through. They all teach these things and most people take them for granted, you know, like "i've been taught them, o.k. what the hay, i'll believe them". No!! We have experienced them first-hand and if you can learn to go past the pain, No one can tough you... (it is a gift in disguise. You must not falter)

 

[Anonymous]

Im just gonna go for it, despite me being terrified.

I hear that - no other way.

 

[Anonymous]

Does anyone know if exposure works?

Well, I get bad SA at work and I have to go to work every day and "face my fear", 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I've been working for 10 years so that's the best part of 20,000 hours exposure therapy, not counting all the out of works hours of having to put myself into situations that bring on SA (daily shopping, for example).

And has all this exposure to my fear helped my SA? Has it f*ck.

OK, I've not yet been killed by SA or been attacked by anybody at work, so I know it's not going to kill me, yet the fear and anxiety is as bad as it's always been.

To be fair, most of that time I didn't know I had SA, I just felt like I was walking onto death-row everyday but had no idea what I felt was a recognised medical condition. I was just walking aimlessly into feaful situations day after day with no idea how to reduce the SA.

But perhaps if you put yourself into those situations which you fear with a plan, with expert guidance from a therapist as to what to do to try to consciously reduce your SA, then perhaps over time, it may start to work.

But in my experience, the only time the terror has reduced is when I've had a job where I just get lucky and meet some colleagues who I happen get on well with, who have similar interests or sense of humour, who are "on the same wavelength" as me. When I have people around me I like and trust and who accept me, the SA reduces considerably. When I'm in a situation where I have nothing in common with the people so just fail to form a relationship, the SA comes right back as bad as it's ever been.