faking it
- Thread starter ShadowCat
- Start date
qipuqipu
Well-known member
I used to be just like this. I really tried to fit in - trying to think of interesting topics and comments, and pressurising myself to joke all the time, which ended up making me stressed out all the time. Now, I try to concentrate on what I want more. I've realised that group situations are really stressful, and so try to limit them. I'm a lot less stressed than before... unfortunately also a lot further away from people :roll: . I'm sure this is a good thing though... now I can figure myself out and come back to those situations on my own terms.
What I'm saying really is that whilst stopping trying to impress people may not solve your problems, it's a good first step. I hope :wink:
What I'm saying really is that whilst stopping trying to impress people may not solve your problems, it's a good first step. I hope :wink:
corrinaelizabeth
Well-known member
i dont know who i am either 
i got in the wrong crowd when i was 14 coz they were mega popular but at the end of the day they turned on me and bullied me!lol so that didnt work,when i was a bit older i managed 2 have a few friends but got so stressed out and didnt want 2 appear all down and self centred i actually went the other way and became really hyper around them lol i have no friends now tho and sometimes i get lonely but at least i dont put myself thru stress just 2 have friends that arnt really friends ne way and there 4 not worth the effort of "getting"over my probs just 2 fit in lol i need 2 work on this myself and the best way of doing this is distancing urself from ppl that arnt ur real friends and who dont really understand coz ur under more stress and then which in turn makes it harder in a way 2 overcome SP
i got in the wrong crowd when i was 14 coz they were mega popular but at the end of the day they turned on me and bullied me!lol so that didnt work,when i was a bit older i managed 2 have a few friends but got so stressed out and didnt want 2 appear all down and self centred i actually went the other way and became really hyper around them lol i have no friends now tho and sometimes i get lonely but at least i dont put myself thru stress just 2 have friends that arnt really friends ne way and there 4 not worth the effort of "getting"over my probs just 2 fit in lol i need 2 work on this myself and the best way of doing this is distancing urself from ppl that arnt ur real friends and who dont really understand coz ur under more stress and then which in turn makes it harder in a way 2 overcome SP
Septor
Well-known member
I think everyone does it to certain extent there the public you and the privet you.
Now you should not do things that you would not normal do but like a lot of people when they were younger I would act however the people I was with at at the time expected of me but that only work for so long.Now I really don't care any more if I fit in to a certain group.I think it's a age thing and pure pressure does not matter as much any more.
Now you should not do things that you would not normal do but like a lot of people when they were younger I would act however the people I was with at at the time expected of me but that only work for so long.Now I really don't care any more if I fit in to a certain group.I think it's a age thing and pure pressure does not matter as much any more.
qipuqipu
Well-known member
Thinking about it, there's probably an element of 'faking it' inherent to any relationship, just to make talking to each other and discussing things easier. This kind of faking it normally gets called politeness, courtesy etc. That way sound weird, but being polite usually requires being less than honest sometimes just to protect people's feelings. The problem comes when you get wrapped up in other people's feelings and forget your own. Balance is the key, as always.