Fake Self vs. Real Self

[Diend]

This year, I began following a Youtube comedy duo: Smosh. By watching their "Lunctime with Smosh" segments, I began using their quirks in real life by blurting things out in class, and basically showing to the world that i was not my old self: quiet, and anxious-looking.

I've been keeping it up this summer too, but last weekend, my real self came back during a convention I attended. I went there by myself and thought i could do fine by just thinking "i didn't come here to socialize", but to learn. i got a bit anxious during lunch time, but after seeing how there was a free luncheon with round tables and strangers, I chickened out, and went outside and bought my own lunch instead. Logically, I thought i was just intimidated at first and could go back into the room if I wanted to, but I noticed that I was on the verge of crying. It's mainly because of bad high school memories and lack of social skills. So my drive to overcome my SA has taken a big blow because of that. So because of that, I want to take the next step in trying to overcome my SA. What should I do?

 

[<ladybug>]

Maybe if you dont hangout with anyone at lunch you can go sit with someone who is by themselves. I'm sure they would be grateful and you feeling good about it might make you relax enough to make a new friend.

 

[kilojoule]

Welcome to the step 1 recognizing. You have now successfully completed this step.

Next step, step 2: Pro-active action, you have successfully identified this step (I applaud you, it takes a lot of us a couple of decades to get as far as step 1 and some never get as far as step 2 )

It's good you're aware of it, it means you can overcome it. I really like Ladybugs advice above.

What do you think you could do in your day to day to gradually expose yourself to social situations? keep in mind the word 'gradually'

We all have setbacks, don't beat yourself up over it the real challenge is what do you do after a setback? Do you get back up and try again? Persistence is key.

 

[Falkor]

Hello there

I think you are a hard working person, you are taking steps. I think it's brilliant to make some comedy up in the classroom, which is inspired by Smosh, that is just great (I love them lol)
I face my Real Self, a lot of moments, I constantly realise how bad I would love to recover and feel better around people, One suggestion, never be fake.
I mean, of course you can act like something funny... that is awesome!
But who are you? Who is wearing that wig? Who is behind this mask?
You should figure out what is special about you!
What makes you a good person to hang out with, your greatest traints and boost up your confidence, a better self esteem would offer so much help.

I know it's hard to walk up to people and sit with them, but it would be a great step, taking risks.... It's damn hard, but if you are trying you will see another outcome

You would feel proud !

Oh, and there are so many ways of overcoming SA really....
I've been fighting a long long way, so there is, just need to find out what is helping you, truly helping

Trust in yourself is the first step...

Good luck

 

[doesit]

This year, I began following a Youtube comedy duo: Smosh. By watching their "Lunctime with Smosh" segments, I began using their quirks in real life by blurting things out in class, and basically showing to the world that i was not my old self: quiet, and anxious-looking.

I've been keeping it up this summer too, but last weekend, my real self came back during a convention I attended. I went there by myself and thought i could do fine by just thinking "i didn't come here to socialize", but to learn. i got a bit anxious during lunch time, but after seeing how there was a free luncheon with round tables and strangers, I chickened out, and went outside and bought my own lunch instead. Logically, I thought i was just intimidated at first and could go back into the room if I wanted to, but I noticed that I was on the verge of crying. It's mainly because of bad high school memories and lack of social skills. So my drive to overcome my SA has taken a big blow because of that. So because of that, I want to take the next step in trying to overcome my SA. What should I do?

Next time take a stab doesn't matter whats the situation,promise yourself that the only way that you gonna not attend or leave it gonna be you being brought out with the ambulance I have noticed its the free time that we have a decision to make that starts changing our behavior and thoughts.

 

[Zlajo]

Hey Diend,
You need more self confidence. Here is one exercise to boos your self confidence:
Look at the people and find some weakness, shortcoming, stupidity or anything similar. That way, you'll realize (and your mind will realize) that people are not perfect.
Of course, you need to practice this exercise for longer time if you want to see results.
Hope this will help.