Failure to connect

[Unspoken]

One of my biggest reservations with people is my perceived strangeness. Not only when it comes to interests, but personal beliefs and emotions. I can talk to people about a TV show or a videogame, but it feels so hollow - like there's still a huge void between us. It's only a surface interest, and it's evident in everything from deeper conversations to reading forums that the way I think and feel beyond the most basic opinions isn't like the people I come in contact with. I don't say this to be a "special snowflake." I'd love nothing more than to be normal. It's simply my perception.

I can't imagine positive responses if I were to open up; maybe disinterest or confusion which was the usual. The few friends I have take me seriously, which I appreciate, but they're still nothing like me. They understand me in a sympathetic, secondhand kind of way. I stopped trying to open up a long time ago simply so that I'd notice it less, and it's led to me feeling alone no matter who I'm around or what I'm doing. Lately it's become suffocating.

I think that's the worst part. That my issues are so... something, that they're just kind of overlooked even when I do try to talk about them on rare occasion while everyone seems to know what to say to normal issues like trouble dating or not knowing what to talk about.

Just another disconnect. I guess that's what's at the root of it all.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Nothing wrong with being deep and complex. I use to frequent certain facebook groups for geopolitical, religious, philosophical and intellectual discussion.

If you're in college, that's another great place to find like minded people to have deep conversations with.

 

[Unspoken]

Nothing wrong with being deep and complex. I use to frequent certain facebook groups for geopolitical, religious, philosophical and intellectual discussion.

If you're in college, that's another great place to find like minded people to have deep conversations with.

It's not so much deep and complex as it is that nobody seems to be so in the same way. People can think differently and still be complex, it's just that nobody seems to align with me or have the same desires in life.

Deep conversation is nice, but at the end of the day I'm as alienated as if I was talking about TV if there are none of those "aha!" or "me, too!" moments. You know, people on the same mental wavelength. I could keep trying niche groups, though.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

It's not so much deep and complex as it is that nobody seems to be so in the same way. People can think differently and still be complex, it's just that nobody seems to align with me or have the same desires in life.

Deep conversation is nice, but at the end of the day I'm as alienated as if I was talking about TV if there are none of those "aha!" or "me, too!" moments.

Maybe try to increase your circle of friends. If you're not socially active (as most of us here aren't) then you're not going to come into contact with more like minded people.

 

[jaim38]

This happens to me too. I've started chatting with strangers lately and we would talk about tv shows, school, music, etc. Even though the conversations went well, I feel like I wasn't able to connect with them on a deeper level. Maybe we don't share enough interests. They watch and listen to music and tv shows that I'm not familiar with, so there's really no much that I can say.

There were rare times when I was able to bond with people on a deeper level. Humor was intrumental in this. I chatted with a friend and we cracked jokes and laughed. We bonded. Another way is to share your emotions with the other person. People venting their emotions and consoling each other can lead to bonding. Just like people coming together during a tragedy.

 

[jaim38]

Deep conversation is nice, but at the end of the day I'm as alienated as if I was talking about TV if there are none of those "aha!" or "me, too!" moments. You know, people on the same mental wavelength. I could keep trying niche groups, though.

I agree. The more interests and core values you share with the other person, the more likely you guys will be able to bond.

 

[mikebird]

For everything said so far

I feel a horrible stare / frown from all people in my streets on the way to town, or who I see when I drive to the supermarket. I don't recognise anyone.


I think I look very depressed. Not a person who is lazy or too tired to do anything. Maybe shy is their perception.

I'm half-way between ignoring everyone and looking away, or paying attention, with a smile. Neither gets a nice response. I want a constant internal mirror. When I see myself onscreen when I walk past CCTV, I watch how others look at the image. I act the way I decide to, and stare back at 'em

There is depth. I'm lost in thoughts. I'm alone.