Yo this has been a huge part of my problem for years now, this eye contact thing. Anyways what I find helps is that you have to learn how to soften your eyes. If you soften your eyes, i swear it dont matter where you look. You could be lookin some thug man in the face and if you dont look like youre starin, its all good. You just gotta keep thsoe eyes soft n relaxed, then you can also move them around more smoothly if someone gives you a dirty look. Try buildin a mental framework/feelin/visualization that you remember of your eyes n how they look/move when youre relaxed. Look at yourself in the mirror. Remember how that feels.
Theres things like blinkin, softenin, movin your eyes around, etc. that your body wont naturally do in a panic attack. Evolution made it so that you get tunnel vision and muscles freeze up with panic, so your eyes look wack. Very fixated, and you can see fear/anger in them, which is hwy its hard to make eye contact durin conversation. Anyways, you gotta school your amygdala into rememberin the feelin of relaxed eyes even when youre panickin so you can just feel that feelin when the attack hits. Itll help easy up the attack too and your eyesll more naturalyl feel that way.
Things that help relaxin your eyes: Focussin on your sorroundings and thinkin about them (dont space out at one object tho), feelin like relaxation is bein "poured" into your eyes, feelin warmth in your eyes, thinkin a thought powerful enuff to trigger a positive physiological reaction.
And for me personally, beneath all this anxiety nonsense im oddly a pretty cocky/arrogant dude. I just vex on things because I blame myself for everything, feelin like I "could have" done but didnt because I let myself be weak or some garbage like that. But anyways, if I think a thought thats powerful enough to trigger that arrogant response, I can feel my eyes go into that cocky sorta look you see alotta rappers n stuff sportin. Its like I have anxiety in regular social situations or in open public, but if someone says "Yo youre a fuckin loser" the anxiety disappears n I get into real life defensive mode like "Ex-fuckin-cuse me". If I can visualize/feel myself in that situation (2 memory slots in our brain - 1 for events, 1 for feelin, like that dude said in another topic) my eyes will go into that state because my brain sees it as adaptive. Im currently workin on more thoughts that make me feel my damn self because they trigger a strong enough registered in my brain as adaptive, taht isnt the anxiety one.
