explain the problem

[outside_looking_in]

So does anyone ever say to eg. a teacher or a colleague, "Actually I have this SP" (or "problem with anxiety", or however you put it), "please understand and make allowances for me"? And does it make a difference?

Only said it to a few friends (who are usually kind, and used to me anyway), and my partner obviously -- he's a real social animal and totally doesn't understand , but usually comes round to being sympathetic if he sees I'm upset

 

[black_mamba]

and my partner obviously -- he's a real social animal and totally doesn't understand , but usually comes round to being sympathetic if he sees I'm upset

I have only told two people = my partner (who like yours is very social) and he seemed a bit sympathetic but because he can't relate to the problem, he forgets about it. Reminding him can lead to unwanted arguments.

= also my best friend from school. Shes been through depression and attempted suicide so there is some element of understanding already, although she also couldn't quite grasp how sever the problem was.

I am very cautious about telling anyone else because it can easily be used against me and/or misunderstood.

Also I feel that the less people know about my 'conditon' the easier it will be for me to improve myself without them noticing 'oh hey, the socially phobic girl is talking!!' Do you see what I mean? I don't want that kind of attention.

Plus I don't ever want to use it as an excuse.

 

[GettingThere]

Low self-esteem and poor self image are hallmarks of the SP sufferer.

That makes us highly sensitive to how others view us and a byproduct of that is that we strive to avoid giving others any reason to think that we are not "normal". Naturally it follows that it would not be usual behaviour for the typical SP sufferer to announce to the world that they have this emotional problem.

I'm not saying that its wrong or even advantageous to tell others of our plight, just that it would not be very common. Power to those who do open up, I admire your bravery and humility.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

Low self-esteem and poor self image are hallmarks of the SP sufferer.

That makes us highly sensitive to how others view us and a byproduct of that is that we strive to avoid giving others any reason to think that we are not "normal". Naturally it follows that it would not be usual behaviour for the typical SP sufferer to announce to the world that they have this emotional problem.

I'm not saying that its wrong or even advantageous to tell others of our plight, just that it would not be very common. Power to those who do open up, I admire your bravery and humility.

i love it! nicely put and i agree. i've told three people, my old roomate, ex bf and a friend and in that case i kind of blurted it out b/c he was talking about a bipolar girl and i was asking what he thought of it and everything and just said it.

i didn't think he took too much notice but then he calls me and says that he's researched it and everything and wanted to know my limitations and everything and i just told him that i'd let him know what i wasn't comfortable with and left it at that. i don't want to be catered to.

i've just told teachers that i don't like presentations and would accept a zero. i have too much pride to ask for accomidations. i don't want to feel handicapped however i don't look at others that do as weak, i feel it's a good thing to do with the teacher would allow it. maybe aska counselor to help you?

 

[outside_looking_in]

maybe I',m not a true SP then ... just it seemed to explain all the problems I've had in my life and felt like i was fitting in here ... sorry to strike such a bum note, story of my life

 

[wutnow]

I told a professor in some introductory Polictical Science class that I would have a problem doing the oral presentation and would it be possible if I could be excused from it. It was the weak way out, but I was a wreck back then, so he said it was ok :lol: .

So the day of the presentations with everyone sittting in a big circle, the MF calls on me to begin my presentation :x . I'm like; "you are f:cking kidding me right - this situation is royally f:ktup!"
It still annoys me, but only because of the audaciousness of it.

"You told me I didn't have to do it ."
(5 of them)
Great. What a MF.

It was a good class otherwise and he was a great instructor. I didn't learn anything otherwise from the experience and it didn't dissuade me from telling people whatever my problem was at that time. If the problems created by it were greater than the problems created by displaying it, it was worth getting it out in the open. Sometimes the best was so bad it might as well have been the worst. In other words, there was very little differentiation from the best and worst effort - they both sucked.

Just another wierd 'side calculus benefit/ loss' thing going on in the mind of people that worry too much :wink:

We can get better. I'm ok with presentations now. :arrow:

No bum note at all man, you just asked a question. That's legitimate .

 

[outside_looking_in]

Thanks, wutnow ... I need to keep things in perspective a bit 8)

Perhaps the professor, not appreciating the nature of your SA, thought that you're good at the subject and, if you didn't have the anticipation and dread, you might manage to give the presentation if put on the spot - though of course it don't work like that!

From when I was 7 I used to get into a panic (dizziness, vomiting etc) on the morning of any special occasion, family birthdays, days out etc. So my parents decided to try not warning me and, instead of going shopping one day (which I could handle--retail therapy gene activated even then!) we arrived at a gala day. I froze up, couldn't eat and walked round all day numb and knotted up ... Nope, definitely a bad tactic!

 

[wutnow]

Perhaps the professor, not appreciating the nature of your SA, thought that you're good at the subject and, if you didn't have the anticipation and dread, you might manage to give the presentation if put on the spot - though of course it don't work like that!

I think he was giving me a 'life lesson', one that he rightly thought I needed. His (or my) timing was just way off :wink:.

Either way, I survived to endure even more indignities and the ocassional success (it hasn't been all bad) .