everyone needs a inspirational story, so heres mine

[nicola_maire]

ok, to tell you the over all point first is that, im nearly (just abit to go) recovered from my social phobia. ok well ill try n make it short for ya'l. when i was 14/15 i reduced myself to cannabis related to depression, basicly becasue i had smoked it everyday, all day for 7-8 months, the reason i done this was to fight my mild depression about a massive let down i recieved from someone i really trusted. something terrible happed, and from the day on i decided to quite cannabis, at this point, my brain was clouded,i could physicaly laugh, and what people said to me wouldnt register, i would just be like 'ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'????? 'what'? in my opinion i was brain dead, long hard six months later, i was back on form, still abit paraniod, but ok. i became really out going. then i started a knew job (my first job actualy) i was so nervous, i wouldnt talk to anyone, and i didnt for months. i was so scared to go into the staff room, that i wouldnt, i would eat outside, and i mean this was winter. i would always seez up in conversations that i wished to be apart off, but never did, i would aviod the big or small groups of people at the coffee bar. all i could think about was people views on me, anything made me cry. i went doctors, got diagnosed. started cognitive behaveral theropy (whichsome helped some i did by myself) now was time to fight back. first was to conker the staff room, which i gradually did, then i stood in the croud, wether i chatted or not, then step at a time, longer periods of my luch in the staff room. i kept doing this thing where i f i had a 15 minute break with someone, i would try to have a conversation for the hole 15 minutes, which was so stressfull. so one day i desided to say nothing, a see if the other person would talk, she didnt, so i thought ok, maybe it isnt so bad if im quite and just being myslef. i desided to think about anything apart from my views on, people views on me, and observing how 'normal' people acted. i was just myself thinking what i usually think which is actualy just me blabbering about something, or me singing in my brain. then started sayin affirmations (posative ones) like 'im kind, veryones kind' 'uim exciting how i am, the world is an exciting, prospus,gentle world' (sounds corny but wait) ur basicly talking to your subconious, as your subconcious picks up this new facts, it sends it to your concious mind, which gradualy bepomes your automatic thoughts, if you hear the nehgative say 'errr no, im not (lets just say) an idiot, because actually your intelligant,kind and empathic, so thx, but no thx) it actually works if your willing to except it, and work on it.
so guys, dont give up.
eh another good one is chalenge your negative thoughts
for example:
you think 'oh your so boring'
why am i boring (then answer) becasue i never talk
why do you never talk? becasue people will think im a prick
why will they think im a prick? coz what i say is stupid
whys it stupid? because no one say stuff liek that
who dont? everyone!
who is everyone? dunno
so basicly you dont actually no why you think your broing........
as you slowly break it down, i begin to see the hidden reasons and you begin to see it not actually true, its just your asumption.
hope thisd helped in some way
nicola

 

[clairet]

haha. good post Nicola, I like your reasoning at the end, I can see myself in that. You are right, you have to challenge your thoughts until the end...
Small steps make giant mental leaps *groan* but very true!
What you said about socialising with other people is true too. Sometimes there isn't always something to talk about in the staff room (with your colleagues etc) and other people who don't have SA tendencies, do not always feel the need to talk. As an SA, it is not a bad thing to say nothing sometimes.

 

[pitkreet]

yeah, good post...i think you're definitely on the right track with this approach...we need to question our negative thoughts, and when we do, we find that we just assume the worst without necessarily knowing the truth...

in fact, when you think about, we're all pretty bloody stupid, allowing ourselves to become so miserable, anxious and wrecking our own lifes, all because of negative assumptions and thoughts rather than hard facts...i really feel like giving myself a jolly good thrashing :x

 

[Danfalc]

Nicola maire, what happend to you is exactly the same thing that happend to me!
I started smoking weed about when i was say 15 or somthing because of the things i couldn't cope with and also i thought it was a cool thing to do at the time :roll:
But yeah i kept on smoking weed, then when i was about 18 some shit happend and i had no choice about smoking it cos i coulndt afford it so i had to stop.And boom then thats when i got hit with all the sa stuff,(even through i didnt know it was sa). But with you saying that cbt helped you cope has given me some hope, cos im hoping to get on that soon (been waiting like a year through to get on it ),So with what happend to you being so simlar to what happend to me im pretty hopefull it will work for me!

Anyways im babbling, thanks for that post

 

[wutnow]

But yeah i kept on smoking weed, .... some shit happend and i had to stop.And boom then thats when i got hit with all the sa stuff

I hear that. It doesn't happen to everyone, but it happened to me too.

 

[nicola_maire]

a year! man that sux, i hope toni blair has a good reason why sick people are waiting for so long for treatment, AH!!! makes my blood boil!!!
cbt does work on a leavel, its just hard sometimes not to resume old habbits, i was having a very good week last weeek, very good, i havnt felt that way in a long time, im stating to get negative thoughts again, n starting to seez up alot..... i had to call her up for a sooner apointment, a made one for in a month, and im uneployed at the mo, so i said to make it later bcoz im not meeting new people for it to flair up, but for some reason it just is.
the first session you have a warn you, it is very emotional!!!! i was crying and everything!! because it just all came out, me moving away from my hometown when i didnt want to, the cannabis, my best friends breaking up with me, gettin beaten up....it just all went BANG!. but it gets easier.
sometimes it hard to forgive yourself for pumping shit into your body, what im about to say sounds so simple, but for me its so hard but you have to say to yourself 'what i done back then was the best i could do to cope with my problems at the time, and i need to know that its helped me grow as a person'.
im more understanding now than i ever was, and alot,alot smarter. but im now a nervous wreck.
i would also like to know does anyone get thoughts saying 'oh my god, your mentaly insane, you actualy well wierd' there my thoughts which makes em go down hill again.
just a thought[/quote]

 

[Danfalc]

Nic
First of all thanks for the emotional warning,cos hopefully i should be
starting it soon *crosses fingers*... i got told the wait was 6months and im still waiting :evil: So yeah it sucks majorly.

Sorry to hear your negatives are creeping back in but from you earlier post it sounds like you know how to deal with em, and good luck for looking for a job.

Anyways getting off topic, you was asking if anyone got thoughts like "god im mentaly insane" and "im actualy well weird". I got the god im mentaly insane one b4 i knew it was sa, cos i really didnt know what the hell was going on, but now i know its just nervousness so i managed to stop that one.I do think i make a complete muppet out of myself half the time of when i talk to someone,so guess that simlar to the "well weird one".

Oh yeah just curious wutnow or nic, do you guys get like 10 times worse if you try smoking weed?

 

[nicola_maire]

hey thx for the encourage ment, appreaciate it. and yeh big time, even half a spliff we leave my with a couple of week termoil!!! it dont help that, thats where my problem started. like i said in another poast. its liek a bad chemical reaction, somepople react well, others dont, what ever mood your in, it times by 10, so bein socialy phobic, well you can imagin what the weed does to that! had a big convo with my dad earlier...he's one of these people who dont belive social phobia is a condition, just confution with human nature. but he does make good point. he was saying stuff like its a vicious circle, i mean if your talking to someone, and all your thinking about is whatt hat person thinks of you, you aint gonna be thinking about what to say next, or the conversation wont flow, becasue your so nervous you cant functuion, he was saying that some people have natral gift of the gab, with some people it takes practise, he advised i practised, even chatin with the loacal man at the shop, try some conversation starter, and by expierence learn which ones work for you, also expect some negative as everyone will react differntly, soem people wont wanna talk to you, but you'll also make someones day, giving them your time, even the most little of things, people can appreciate!.
i earlier rooted my problem as well, it wasnt the cannabis that was just may way of coping....but yeh and it feels good to know ive got something to work with, i think once you get over the root of your problem, the rest will be easier. mine was mny best mate lettin me down who i thought was the most wounderfull person at the time. thast crushed my spirit, and my faith in epople, which i had alot of, i would of given my time to anyone! but that girl made me think 'well if she can do it, so can anyone' not knowing that before, and knowing what she's ACTUALY like, i realise thats just her, it wernt personal to me, and it wernt my fault, i done what i could for her, she couldnt understand what she had done, which made me depressed thinking i was being ridiculous, but im sensative, and she just doesnt care about anyone. so i feel alot better! but back tot he point, for people with our condition cannais is a big no no. imagain social phobia...with paranoia, bing abit skitzaphrenic, and bein more intovert than you are now, and your mind being more clouded, actauly very clouded, im telling ya first hand its not nice, and it takes alot to forgive yourslef for doing it to yourself, so my advice.....NO!!! lol

 

[Danfalc]

but back tot he point, for people with our condition cannais is a big no no. imagain social phobia...with paranoia, bing abit skitzaphrenic, and bein more intovert than you are now, and your mind being more clouded, actauly very clouded, im telling ya first hand its not nice, and it takes alot to forgive yourslef for doing it to yourself, so my advice.....NO!!! lol

Yeah i found that out the hard way :lol:
was just curious if you guys were the same and well you answered my question. :wink: