Empathy/Sympathy

[saen]

Hi all, I've just got some questions relating to sympathy/empathy (I've never really been able to figure out the difference between the two words, lol.)

But back to my point: I've been told that, as a child (from 5-12), I was very shy, but able to make friends very easily. I can't remember much from my early child-hood (most of my memories seem to have been blocked out), but the things I do remember are far from positive. I've always been a very self-conscious empathetic/sympathetic person, which probably accounts for most of my anxiety. Even now, the act of killing a fly or looking at a half dead animal causes extreme anxiety, sometimes I'm not able to breath very well.

I just can't watch things die or get hurt. If I watch someone getting bullied, or a cat killing at animal, I become overwhelmed with rage and anxiety. I just overly, overly identify with the weak.

But this translates into my personal life as well. When someone says something rude to me, regardless of how trivial it may be, I feel as if I've been stabbed in the heart. I am very defensive, but at times I am told that I am the most open person in the world. In my early teens, I suffered severely from migraines, which is supposed to be very uncommon in males. It's almost as if I'm too feminine in my approach to life, which sucks, being a guy and all...

As a result, I quit half way through high-school, because of the dynamics that played out there and am currently doing home-schooling (currently doing my grade 12). I have 'friends' that sometimes come over and don't understand at all why I've quit school. I lie to them by saying I'm on medication and I want to get my 'grades up' and other nonsense (don't ask me why, lol). Thinking back, I was also held back in grade-1 because my teachers felt I wasn't emotionally ready for the next grade. But anyway, the border between sympathy/empathy and anger seems to be very close in my life. Personally, I am an academic and a loner, and have a strong interest in philosophy.

Anyway, my question to you guys is:

Are you, or do you see yourself as a very sympathetic/empathetic person?
Just curious.

 

[Interzone]

I'm very similar to the person you just described but it's really dependent on the situation and circumstances.

I feel bad when something dies or get's hurt, but not all the time, I am more inclined to feel bad for animals than for humans which is sort of odd. Although I can't stand people who bully other people and people who have major attitude problems.

It's sort of a bipolar type feeling/reaction. One second I don't care, the next I'm sad, the next I'm happy about it. But that's only for certain things, it really depends on the specific situation.

About the something rude part, same here, that's part of the reason why I have SA or APD, I can't stand rejection, so I try to avoid all situations where it's possible that it might happen. I avoid any situation where someone may be rude to me and if it somehow happens no matter how trivial, sometimes that person didn't even do it on purpose it will kill me too.

Bah! I hate it, I can never explain myself or my feelings or emotions properly.

 

[Neph]

i used to be way too sympathetic/empathetic then i realized that i was putting others before myself. it just seemed way too fake the way i was acting, i was a shy kid but i never felt good. there were many different things going on at the time for me, i always wondered why my mom never smiled, why i was always left out of the group when playing sports, i had "friends" at school but children being as cruel as they are didnt really like me, i was calm and quiet at school but lashed out at home especially at my little brother to which i regret greatly to this day.....

yeah i really really ****ed up that part of my life being the little idiot that i was. dont get me wrong , there is nothing wrong with being a little sympathetic/empathetic (in which my opinion MANY MANY MANY people in this world have forgotten) but i had a choice to either grow up and move on or stay being that little kid and cry over spilt milk. i chose the obvious choice and am actually making an attempt to better myself for me and as a useful person in society. its so easy to point fingers at other people but its harder to point it at ourselves

 

[saen]

To, Neph,

Regarding brothers, I was the youngest child in my family, and as a result, I was severely traumatized by my older brother (shot me twice with an air rifle, almost killed me by tossing a cement slab on my head etc, etc.) So as a result, I was always 'sheltered' by the rest of the family.

But my problem is that, recently, on some occasions, I am becoming hard and indifferent to people's suffering (something that really troubles me.) The sympathetic side of my nature is slowly being 'eaten away.' Even if I got rid of this particular issue, I would no doubt still have SA, so I do see them as separate, but related, issues. But I think spilling milk doesn't have much to do with sympathy (I see sympathy as identifying with the pain of others.)

But anyway, I look forward to seeing more responses.