Embarrassing moment

[Moonie]

Yesterday I decided to go out to see this band with my sister and her friend. My sister's friend's BF was being so annoying and unintentionally rude that I actually was in tears! I suppose he was trying to be funny, but he just went so far. I never cried over things people have said, but it was just so much.

He first said hello Laurie the mute. Then he asked if I was practicing to be a mime. I HATE those two words: mime and mute. I was called them on occasion in middle school. It makes me feel so subhuman and dumb.

Later on he came out into the room and was talking to me. He just kept saying stuff like "It's ashame that you don't talk. Why don't you talk?

I also went to a different school for my first semester, but decided it wasn't for me. And he said something like, "You probably went home and told your mom that people talked to you and you didn't know what to do."

He also kept asking my sister things like, "Why didn't you try to help her? Why didn't you bring her out to places in public?" And stuff like that - as if I have been a recluse.

Finally he said to my sister and her friend, "I wish you guys didn't talk like Laurie." My sister replied back, "Then we wouldn't be fun people." She didn't mean it to come out like that, but I finally couldn't hold it in anymore and I cried.

I really can't stand how insensitive some people can be. I could have easily asked why he doesn't shutup and why he was so ignorant and annoying. But of course I couldn't say that because I was in tears, and I actually care about peoples' feelings and it would be so wrong. What do you do in these situations? They don't really occur anymore, so I guess I wasn't used to it. Should I stand up for myself now? Should I let it go as sheer ignorance? Has anyone bothered you so much that you cried - in the current situation? When this happened at school, I would sometimes cry later that night.

 

[xkiss_me_nowx]

Noones ever bothered me in that way, as I stand up for myself..
dont let anyone talk to you like that, he was really rude even if he was just joking, it isnt mean if you tell them to shut up when theyre sayin things like that, its just standing up for yourself, and not letting idiots like that treat you like crap <3

 

[pixiebabi]

when i was younger that used to happen to me too, people would always ask 'why dont you talk?' or if they heard me talk they'd be like 'hey she talked!'. it would be really really annoying because i did talk, just not to them and not all loud and crap. but now i talk alot more. anyways you really should have told him to shutup. or something like 'i do talk, you just never notice' atleast thats what i used to say. it was the truth anyways. people who say stuff like that to you are retards k. never let somebody disrespect you like that, and by you not saying anything to him will make him do it again.

 

[haze]

well for a start you should stick up for yourself either that or just get out of the situation its good that words dont bother you usually, try saying something like "i only speak to people WORTH talking to"

 

[moodygoo]

hey I think I know the feeling and got really angry on your behalf reading that... what a twat.
How old are you can I ask? Cos I know I used to get that a lot more when younger but older people tend to be a bit less dumb.. or maybe its just the kinda people.
Anyway if it helps I don't think you could've handled it any better really.
People just can't understand why someone would find something hard that they find so easy, and don't try to understand.
You're certainly not alone in this anyway.

 

[pookie]

It happened to me al ot during highschool. It was soo annoying, all the time i had people asking me why i didn't talk. And what was worst was that i didn't know what to say. I even had a teacher that called me THE QUIET ONE.
I don't get that anymore, i try to talk(although i get extremely nervous)...but i still sometimes think that people think that i'm odd.

 

[Yossarian]

So this guy is rude, ignorant, a retard, disrespectful, a twat, dumb and not worth talking to?

Come on guys all this bloke did was to ask some questions. That’s what people do. They talk to each other. It’s perfectly normal, that’s how we get to know each other. Maybe in my cack-eyed, semi-comatose, caffeine deficient morning state I’ve missed it but what exactly did he say that was so bad as to deserve such a torrent of insults?

If anything it sounds to me like this guy was trying to be friendly. Maybe there are better ways but can anyone on this site really condemn someone else for having imperfect social skills?

You say Laurie that you can’t understand how he could be so insensitive but have you ever considered that it is you being hypersensitive? You ask what to do in that situation, well what about being honest?

People just can't understand why someone would find something hard that they find so easy, and don't try to understand.

This is the classic contradiction that crops up time and again on boards like this. You criticize this chap for not trying to understand but call him a twat for asking Laurie why she is quiet. What’s a boy to do?

 

[Moonie]

People have asked me why I didn't just call him an asshole or dick or something like that. But, I couldn't because I do think that that would be hypocritical of me to call him a name back. Although to some (previous poster in particular), dick, twat, asshole, etc. sounds worse than being called a mute. I don't think so at all. If you look up the definition of mute, you will see why it hurts. Being a mute is being inhuman, dumb. That's one of the lowest things you can say to someone. It may not sound bad, but it is.

I do agree that he probably doesn't understand the situation, but he could have went about it in a more tactful way. He wasn't doing it to seriously get to know me, he was trying to do it to be funny. He carried it too far.

Maybe I am more sensitive than others, but I don't think I am hypersensitive. I have endured alot of hurtful things growing up, but I didn't let it get to me, nor did I ever cry in front of the person who was teasing me. I can't tell you exactly why I did this time.

Maybe I don't understand him completely, either. But to say that he did nothing wrong is totally ridiculous.

 

[moodygoo]

So this guy is rude, ignorant, a retard, disrespectful, a twat, dumb and not worth talking to?

Come on guys all this bloke did was to ask some questions. That’s what people do. They talk to each other. It’s perfectly normal, that’s how we get to know each other. Maybe in my cack-eyed, semi-comatose, caffeine deficient morning state I’ve missed it but what exactly did he say that was so bad as to deserve such a torrent of insults?

If anything it sounds to me like this guy was trying to be friendly. Maybe there are better ways but can anyone on this site really condemn someone else for having imperfect social skills?

You say Laurie that you can’t understand how he could be so insensitive but have you ever considered that it is you being hypersensitive? You ask what to do in that situation, well what about being honest?

People just can't understand why someone would find something hard that they find so easy, and don't try to understand.

This is the classic contradiction that crops up time and again on boards like this. You criticize this chap for not trying to understand but call him a twat for asking Laurie why she is quiet. What’s a boy to do?

ok I can see where you're coming from... The people making people with SA uncomfortable aren't always the bad guys and its the nature of people with SA to be over sensitive etc but in this case the guy was actually being cruel.
"You probably went home and told your mom that people talked to you and you didn't know what to do.", "Why didn't you try to help her? Why didn't you bring her out to places in public?" Thats not friendly, getting to know someone talk, thats mocking, patronising and insulting.
Don't look down on yourself for crying moonie.