Don't want to have sex again.

[Moonie]

I have been going out with my BF for a couple of years. About a week ago we were sleeping and he woke up just as I was drifiting off to sleep and made love to me. Afterwards we were laying there and he said something along the line of "Did you get off....Good, because I didn't enjoy it." And I was sooo upset. He said he was only joking. But I have terrible self-esteem and I already feel like he thinks I am ugly now. Am I being reasonable for still being a bit upset about this or should I just let it go? And now I don't really feel like I want to make love to him again.

 

[xkiss_me_nowx]

i think youre being reasonable.
if my boyfriend and me had sex, and he turned around and said that i would be pretty upset, and also mad.
even if he was "joking" i don't think that's what a 'loving' boyfriend should say to you after he's just had sex with you. what a dick.
and it's a pretty lame thing to say too.

 

[Xaviera_Hollander]

If I had a boyfriend like that, it would be a cold day in hell before he got anymore from me. I think you're perfectly in your right to be angry with him. That's a sad way to joke around and I'd tell him about it too. I can't blame you for not wanting to make love with him if he has that kind of attitude :evil:

I'd tell him to enjoy his hand before he gets back with me again :roll:

 

[Warlock]

He doesn't think your ugly, because otherwise he wouldn't be dating you or sleeping with you.

 

[Thelema]

Guys can say stupid crap. Just talk to him about it you'll both feel better.

 

[Shonen_Yo]

When guys are nervous, we try to relieve the tension with a bad joke. Don't take it seriously; he just wanted to know how he did.

 

[scatmantom]

he sounds like an ass hole! Tell him exactly how bad that made u feel, and also remind him that you can stop get rid of him if he ever makes you feel that way again.

 

[nerdgirl178]

Tell him you didn't like it either. :twisted: Or tell him your secret lover is better....hehe.

 

[crazyfairyx]

I wouldn't tolerate my bf saying that to me, even out of nerves! Who wants a bf who makes himself feel better by making you feel bad? Saying nasty things about your sex life to your partner is cruel, uncalled for and acheives nothing but hurting you partner. I would personally tell your guy that if he isn't enjoying sex then he needs to improve his performance because it takes two people to have good sex, not one! If you're not having good sex it is not because of just one partner. Also, I would tell him that he should appreciate what he has and if he wants to have a go at you then he knows where the door is.

Hugs, don't take any shit!

Naomi x

 

[Xaviera_Hollander]

When guys are nervous, we try to relieve the tension with a bad joke. Don't take it seriously; he just wanted to know how he did.

When you're in bed with your partner is the worse place to make jokes :roll: Maybe she should make a rude comment about the size of his penis and he'll see how bad she feels :roll:

 

[tommydog]

Moonie, you were just about asleep, and then he starts having sex with you. How romantic.

Ofcourse its not gonna be that great for either of you. If he dosnt appreciate it, then dont give it to him unless he works for it ! You have to keep him on his toes, or he will become complacent :wink:

 

[Emma]

You should tell him to go to hell.
I would never ever want anyone touching me again and I don't even have that reason, tell him he's a jerk

 

[plainsofserenity]

You've been going with him for a couple of years you say.
You know him better than anyone in this forum would.
Q.1 Is it typical behaviour? Is there no real surprise or shock that he would be so insensitive?
Q.2 Is this strikingly out of character? Is he generally more responsive to you emotionally? Is he remorseful that the remark slipped out?

If you answer Q1=yes, Q2=no - then drop him and move on. If after 2 years there is no surprise in his behaviour then it won't change and will repeat.
If you answer Q1=no, Q2=yes - then you need to talk so he understand the inappropriateness of his remarks and how terrible it made you feel. (If he can't understand that then I'd suggest that Q1 should have been answered with a 'yes')