Don't know how to handle myself in new situations

[NightTimeForever]

I went to a gas station before work to buy a few supplies, just minding my own business. Well, anyway, a woman comes up to me (about 35 or so), said "can you do me a huge favor, and get something down for me" I figured no harm so I grabbed her a six pack off the top shelf. She was telling me how she felt like such an idiot, kinda rambling. I just replied with "it's not a problem." I saw her blush deeply.

Which brings me to a general issue, and I chide myself for it, but I find it hard to make others feel comfortable in new social situation, especially women. I guess I have an issue with being more conversational (hard due to anxiety). Anyone else have this? And have you found a way to conquer it. I just feel horrible when I do this to somebody, as I wouldn't want someone to feel the way I constantly do in these types of situations.

 

[Patrick26]

Yes, that's my biggest problem.

 

[NightTimeForever]

Huh, most not be a popular subject.

 

[bigcat1967]

Huh, most not be a popular subject.

It really is - ppl don't talk about it as much. I think that most ppl w/ SA have this.

 

[MrJones]

I feel very uncomfortable in these kind of situations, I never know what to do... I'm just a stranger in a strange land

 

[lifeislikealoop]

I never make anyone feel at ease. People always start explaining themselves around me like they think I'm judging them negatively or something. Don't know what to do about that.

 

[RMRoss10]

I've always been the type to initiate long awkward silences, but I've gotten in the habit of using self-deprecating humor. I find that making fun of myself disarms other people.

I have to warn you sometimes it backfires. I've had people just stare at me with pity if I say something like "This is just a sign of my complete geekdom" when I help someone at work with a computer issue. So it's a bit of a gamble. But if I can get someone to even FAIN a laugh, it makes everything less awkward for me.

 

[TaylorSwift'sHubby]

I have this problem all the time.... Ill get in a convo with someone and I never know what to say past Hi and then when it comes to that awkward silence my brain just shuts down. I just never know what to say and the conversation ends right there and it leaves other ppl feeling a bit wierded out and uncomfortable. When they finally leave, I'm left thinking about how boring, quiet, and weird i was during the conversation. This is why I try to stick with hi and byes with ppl I kno. The same thing happens on the phone. This is y I text more than anything else. I kno there's a way to fix this, there's gotta be. I just don't know how......

 

[Patrick26]

I have this problem all the time.... Ill get in a convo with someone and I never know what to say past Hi and then when it comes to that awkward silence my brain just shuts down. I just never know what to say and the conversation ends right there and it leaves other ppl feeling a bit wierded out and uncomfortable. When they finally leave, I'm left thinking about how boring, quiet, and weird i was during the conversation. This is why I try to stick with hi and byes with ppl I kno. The same thing happens on the phone. This is y I text more than anything else. I kno there's a way to fix this, there's gotta be. I just don't know how......

Talk about the weather outside. Like when it's been raining all week and it's finally sunny i say things like "man, it's so nice to have the sun come out, seems like it's been ages since we saw that light", or anything related to the weather. Also, if it's depressing outside normally people will be a little depressed, just say something like "Isn't it funny how the weather effects our moods?" but only say this if they are saying it's depressing outside. It doesn't mean you're saying they are depressed because of it but people in general are depressed by ugly weather. Try and not let them know you're talking about them because you're not talking about them, more the depressing thing.

Guys are easy to talk to, talk to them about sports. "So how bout them playoffs, eh?" I don't get that far in a conversation without resorting to "yeah that's true" or "i agree" or w/e lame conversation enders there are, i need to find other things to talk about. I want to learn to be fun in conversations, more flirty...i can flirt, i flirt all the time to the girls at my work but i wanna be intresting and fun to talk to. I got a long ways to go....like i wanna go to say 2 or 3 women and make them laugh so hard, it's easy to make most people laugh, but laughing hard? that's hard to do.

Edit- Another thing came to me....when you are in a grocery store and you're looking for something to buy and someone is there say "oh man there is just so much to choose from", normally people laugh and agree when i say that.