Don't feel like I want to meet people after all

[lonely_world]

I've met a couple of people lately, but both of them haven't worked out. All I wanted to do was take a walk with the first person, but she came up with excuses, and today, I met a guy and we drove around the city here, so I could show him more of it, mistake! Growing up with a mom who hardly talked to me at all, and I was the only one at home with her, really did a number on me. People must think i'm a total freak, because I just really do not know how to talk to people. And being so alone doesn't help either, so I'm basically screwed in my opinion. I really need to take 'baby steps' but how do you learn how to communicate with people at 31, when you should have known as a kid?! I'm so, so sick and tired of going through this social hell all the time by myself. :twisted:

 

[miss_amy]

Aww big hugs to you. You talk to us just fine on here. Perhaps you could practise with people who understand your problem so theres not so much pressure.

I find it OK talking to people if thy talk to me, but I find it dificult to start a conversation. I feel like I'm being nosey if I ask them questions. I find it easier to chat to people who have similar interests as me, gives something to talk about. I've joined online forums and groups to do with my hobbies which have then turned in to people I chat to......not close friends who know everything about me but nice people that I enjoy being with and chat a lot to online and have met up with. we've met up for enjoying the hobby together. Scared me, was a bag of nerves but had a nice time.

Don't blame yourself that it didn't work out with those people. It might have been a huge part them, not you. Conversations and meeting up is a two way thing, not just you.

editted to say I think we are a similar age...I'm 34 next month. I'd be happy to cha to you if you feel up to it.

 

[recluse]

I Can totally relate to you lonely-world. Next week i am going abroad to meet an online friend for the first time, and i'm so scared that i won't know what to say to her, especially as i am extremely shy with girls, and We haven't even spoken on the phone only through emails.

What i find strange is that i am actually more comfortable at times when i am not one to one with a person, because then the other person can fill in the awkward silences. I just hate awkward silences, not because i hate silence but of the fear that the other person thinks i am boring and have nothing interesting to say. When i was in school a friend invited me to go to a under 16's disco at his uncles night club and we walked back with his cousin, and i felt a fool because i didn't talk the whole way and she asked ''What's wrong?..You are quiet''

Don't you hate it that people assume that something is wrong just because we are quiet!?

 

[Luna]

I understand what you mean and know that lonely world.

I've been living in a "new" city for over six months and have not made a friend here. I just can't go to activities and ask for someone's phone number (even if they are nice). If I do ask for their number and give the ol' "let's have coffee sometime" it would be long stretch to say I'd even get the courage to call them.

You seem very eloquent here online. I bet you charm people and don't realize it. But I know what you mean.

 

[Moonie]

I just have a hard time meeting, making, and keeping friends in general. I go through periods of finding a person or two, but it also doesn't work out for some reason.

I think mainly because I meet guys - some of which just want a relationship. So, I really don't have a true guy friend, actually. And finding a girl friend would just be impossible for me! I haven't had one since early HS.

There are times when I feel like I lose people because I will find a friend and suffocate them. Or, they lose interest in me. Or they move away. We grow apart.

It's a shame because I think I would make a good friend. I listen to my sister talk about her other 'friends' while they are not around. She's selfish. I am none of those things. I wouln't talk behind a friends back. I am not selfish. I am willing to try and do anything with a friend.