I've tried explaining to people I've tried talking to what I have and what SA is, but no one understands they either think your anti social or your mental and should go see a doctor... so really don't bother trying to explain it to people. I tried it to see what people said and I knew I would get this response.
Don't bother explaining
- Thread starter shipost
- Start date
Faded
Well-known member
shipost said:
Yes thats Totally true Shipost,,, But once it sounded like the Opposite : -
Urrgh, i've tried to explain it to my mum's friend daughter (chidlhood friend) Becuz most of the time i feel that she thinks im an ignorant when i refuse in doing things or Not saying a thing around the family ect. I cudnt explain it Good, it Sounded So simple to the point were she said " Come on, You dont need Counseling, You seem absolutely Normal!!! " .. I cudnt believe wat i heard, is she supporting me Or insulting??? OR she just dont get it becuz i havent explained it right .. by the way she kept cutting my talking So i stopped and she concluded the whole thing alone .. So im normal???! 8O 8O 8O SHE CALLS THAT NORMAL!!!!! 8O 8O 8O
renegade
Well-known member
shipost said:
I tryed that too shipost. I've explained just like in the book, but ppl don't seem to get the point, the essence.
I found finnally a way to explain to them so that can understand. I ask them what's their worst fear. Some say darkness, other spiders, snakes, or whatever crazy stuff. And then I start to ask the stressing why questions and behave like he is a crazy man and I can't understand why he can be afraid of such a harmless thing :lol:
So there you go...make him feel non-understood...then say to him: see, that is my fear, and like yours, is has no ration in it :wink:
That allways worked for me. In fact, I started talkng to the person about his fear to the point where he could imagine the thing and became anxious :twisted:
thequietone
Well-known member
Yeah....I just don't tell people. It's so personal, and I can't have people know me that much because then I just want to get away from them forever.
I mean, Here you are bearing your soul and you get a response like: "It takes less muscles to smile than to frown" :evil: or "Look on the bright side"
I don't know what I want them to say, but it isn't that. Then they walk around you like you're a land mine ready to explode.
The truth is, although they don't try to beat the devil out of us mental illness sufferers, there is still a stigma attached. And social anxiety is a new disorder. Not even all psychiatrists understand it.
I mean, Here you are bearing your soul and you get a response like: "It takes less muscles to smile than to frown" :evil:
or "Look on the bright side"I don't know what I want them to say, but it isn't that. Then they walk around you like you're a land mine ready to explode.
The truth is, although they don't try to beat the devil out of us mental illness sufferers, there is still a stigma attached. And social anxiety is a new disorder. Not even all psychiatrists understand it.
Jack-B
Well-known member
All,
Our reaction to how others respond to us is a subtle sign of our social phobia and anxiety.
Why do we want anyone to understand our experience?
What does it matter what others think?
When we feel understood and listened to, we feel connected, we feel a little better, we dont feel so isolated and alone.
The truth is that we all want to connect with others, to be able to communicate effectively but everyone in the world also experiences anxiety and mental pain but not everyone wants to deal with it, most people would rather avoid it.
Your decision to share your experience is a courageous one and those whom you have told also share your experience in having anxiety yet your social phobia tells you that what others think about you is so massively important, when really your happiness depends on what you think not what they think.
When you tell others about your phobia, it plays on your mind what they think about you and this can have a hand in reinforcing that very same phobia because their opinon matters to you. It reinforces why you should hate and avoid others, because no one understands. Can you see the destructive cycle?
I'm not saying that you shouldnt let others know about your phobia or anxiety, or that it is a bad thing to do, on the contrary, i think it's a great idea providing that you can handle it.
I feel if you tell people when you are not ready, you will create more problems for yourself. But when you are ready it will be rewarding and a sense of mental freedom will overcome you because there will be nothing left to hide from the world, you can be yourself without caring what others think. Getting there however takes time.
The most important thing though i feel is that if you do tell anyone or dont tell anyone - realise we all suffer from mental anxiety, some will say, "yeah, i get anxiety" some will say "whats wrong with ya" depending on how truthful they are to themselves. Some wont be ready to admit they get scared aswell.
Jack
Our reaction to how others respond to us is a subtle sign of our social phobia and anxiety.
Why do we want anyone to understand our experience?
What does it matter what others think?
When we feel understood and listened to, we feel connected, we feel a little better, we dont feel so isolated and alone.
The truth is that we all want to connect with others, to be able to communicate effectively but everyone in the world also experiences anxiety and mental pain but not everyone wants to deal with it, most people would rather avoid it.
Your decision to share your experience is a courageous one and those whom you have told also share your experience in having anxiety yet your social phobia tells you that what others think about you is so massively important, when really your happiness depends on what you think not what they think.
When you tell others about your phobia, it plays on your mind what they think about you and this can have a hand in reinforcing that very same phobia because their opinon matters to you. It reinforces why you should hate and avoid others, because no one understands. Can you see the destructive cycle?
I'm not saying that you shouldnt let others know about your phobia or anxiety, or that it is a bad thing to do, on the contrary, i think it's a great idea providing that you can handle it.
I feel if you tell people when you are not ready, you will create more problems for yourself. But when you are ready it will be rewarding and a sense of mental freedom will overcome you because there will be nothing left to hide from the world, you can be yourself without caring what others think. Getting there however takes time.
The most important thing though i feel is that if you do tell anyone or dont tell anyone - realise we all suffer from mental anxiety, some will say, "yeah, i get anxiety" some will say "whats wrong with ya" depending on how truthful they are to themselves. Some wont be ready to admit they get scared aswell.
Jack
Warlock
Well-known member
Some people are scared of me in real life and others think I have a big ego. Many people, including some teachers I have had, have labeled me as paranoid (the teachers called me paranoid in front of the whole class, gah).
I doubt that I have social anxiety disorder, so I'm not going to tell anyone I have it. I don't even tell people I'm depressed because they don't understand that. I've told people in the past and they were always like "you just want attention, go kill yourself".
I doubt that I have social anxiety disorder, so I'm not going to tell anyone I have it. I don't even tell people I'm depressed because they don't understand that. I've told people in the past and they were always like "you just want attention, go kill yourself".
i think it's hard for other people to understand social anxiety because it's almost a non-existent problem. They don't see it as a problem because they themselves have experianced being nervous and uncomfortable but they handle it differently and they don't let their minds blow it out of proportion. Where we would take a situation that's uncomfortable and start getting worried and panicking they change their way of thinking and cope with it before it escalates to the points we let it. so when you are trying to convince them that you have mental illness or something is really wrong with you they dont get it. It's not a disease that you can't fix or that you're stuck with it's just a flaw in the way that you think and handle you're feelings and i believe it can be changed. Why are you trying to convince others and yourself that there's something wrong with you, there's not. I see myself as having problems with letting my thoughts and emotions get out of hand that's it, not having a mental illness. There's my two cents .
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