"Don't be neurotic"

[Helyna]

So my mom was talking about something I shouldn't have said. This topic really disturbs me. More than anything else, I go over and over in my head what people have said to me or I have said to them. Then, she went on to a second thing that I said wrong, and that really upset me. Someone made a joke in response to it, and I had been thinking that he was just being funny, not making fun of the way I said it.

I was clearly upset, so she goes into the what's-wrong-with-you-why-do-you-react-so-much mode. The words this time were something like: "You're being neurotic. Neurotic means that you get upset about silly things. Don't be neurotic."

Okay, I am neurotic by that definition! I get upset about all sorts of things! I don't like to think about my eighth grade English class because I still remember something embarrassing I said and my teacher's reaction to it, and I'm in twelfth grade now! I obsess over things that have been said! So what's wrong with me? Isn't this part of social anxiety? I'm afraid of being called a hypochondriac if I tell her I might have SAD. This hasn't helped.

 

[chris87]

I have an issue with obsessing over things that I said, and I am also neurotic. I can recall dialogue that happened years ago...it can be annoying at times. I'm pretty sure that a lot of other people on this forum have the same problems as you.

 

[Doomed2Die]

I'm fairly sure it's a SA thing.

 

[VioletTears]

I'm neurotic. I took one of those internet tests once that rate you for different personality characteristics and I came out like 98% neurotic... I thought it was probably just a dumb test so I looked it up and sure enough, I AM neurotic. It's an ugly word, though, because of how it has been abused... I would try not to give too much power to the word its self... You already knew that you worry too much so you are no different now than you were before you knew the word applied to you...The fact that the word applies to you doesn't mean that all the ugly conotations apply to you, too...

 

[Helyna]

I'm neurotic. I took one of those internet tests once that rate you for different personality characteristics and I came out like 98% neurotic... I thought it was probably just a dumb test so I looked it up and sure enough, I AM neurotic. It's an ugly word, though, because of how it has been abused... I would try not to give too much power to the word its self... You already knew that you worry too much so you are no different now than you were before you knew the word applied to you...The fact that the word applies to you doesn't mean that all the ugly conotations apply to you, too...

Thanks. It is a horribly ugly word. What tests were you taking?

 

[VioletTears]

This is the link... http://www.learnmyself.com/

I can't remember if I took the short or long one.

I got the link off of my friend's Myspace page so it's not a professional assessment, obviously! But it was actually pretty accurate for me.

 

[Helyna]

I took the long one.

Neuroticism
77
Extraversion
12
Openness to Experience
41
Agreeableness
86
Conscientiousness
73

You often resist any cravings or urges that you have, but sometimes you give in, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. You get overwhelmed by too much noise and commotion and do not like thrill-seeking activities. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You dislike confrontations and are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny your own needs in order to get along with others, however you are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Pretty good. I was expecting my liberalism and fairly high self-esteem to mess up results, but the people who made this test are obviously more careful and thorough than that.

 

[VioletTears]

Well, that's not so bad. I thought I was going to do a little better this time but I took it again and got this-

Neuroticism 100
Extraversion 1
Openness to Experience 55
Agreeableness 80
Conscientiousness 1

You often resist any cravings or urges that you have, but sometimes you give in, however you tend to lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You prefer facts over fantasy and are more interested in what is happening in the real word. You do not like to claim that you are better than other people, and generally shy from talking yourself up, however you generally see others as selfish, devious, and sometimes potentially dangerous. Your sense of duty and obligation is average and although you are mostly responsible you can sometimes be unreliable.

I was really only surprised that my consientiousness was so low... I definitely struggle with motivation and I do lack self discipline, though, but when I feel watched then I'm a total perfectionist.

 

[alwmt]

My mother called me pessimistic before and I looked it up and I was angry because it was mean of her to call me that.

I understand what you are saying about your mother calling you neurotic. No one has ever called me neurotic, at least not to my face, but I am. I thought that I was the only person who obsessed about conversations and events from years ago, I am glad to know I'm not.

 

[alwmt]

I just took that test and according to it I am 99% neurotic. That's nice to know I guess.

 

[Helyna]

Neuroticism 100

I just took that test and according to it I am 99% neurotic. That's nice to know I guess.

Wow. How did you even manage that? Once again, I am reminded that I am one of the most "normal" people on this forum. Or, from another view, one of the "weird" ones here, though, since it's a forum for our quirks, I don't think you can call anyone weird.
I need to stop making excuses for myself and decide whether I really have a problem that needs help or not. :?

 

[VioletTears]

Helyna, I have been diagnosed with major depression (and I guess now OCD) in addition to anxiety.. I think my depression and low self esteem probably had the biggest impact on my score.

My guess is that you wouldn't be here if you weren't struggling. The good news is that you maybe have a more healthy base to start with, but if you are feeling lost or frustrated it's probably still a good idea to talk through those feelings.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

I need to stop making excuses for myself and decide whether I really have a problem that needs help or not. :?

If it interferes with your life at all, then it's a problem and you have something to gain from fixing it.