doing nice things for people...awkward!

[alex29]

Ive seen that a lot of my social awkwardness comes from going out of my way to be nice to people. I;ll try to be kind and generous and people will look at me either suspiciously or confused and Ill stumble over myself.

it sucks because here I am trying to be a nice person and I end up making myself look like a fool!

has anyone else experienced this??

 

[EveM]

Not really, just if I did something nice for someone and they make a huge deal out of it or attract a lot of attention to it but I don't mind so much if it's my family, just other people who don't know me so well.

Who do you think is looking at you suspiciously or confused? Like even people who know you well or people you don't know so well?

 

[Infected_Malignity]

Yeah, don't worry about it. I've been there many times. Believe it or not, people just notice you going out of your way to be nice, and that's something they don't expect. If you wanna get rid of it, just stop being so nice. I don't mean you have to go out of your way to be a dick or anything, just be neutral about it. Hell, I still stay toward the 'ncie guy' side of the spectrum, but I've realized that in every situation, even if just conversation, there's always a flaw in being too nice.

 

[kyle]

you feel better about yourself if you help people. It doesn't matter if you look awkward. What counts is you tried to do a good deed. And if that doesn't work, you should move to Calgary. It's the "Good deed city".

 

[Cartman]

you feel better about yourself if you help people. It doesn't matter if you look awkward. What counts is you tried to do a good deed. And if that doesn't work, you should move to Calgary. It's the "Good deed city".

JEWWWW!!!

 

[alex29]

mostly strangers. my friends are usually appreciative of it. and I do feel good afterwards but sometimes the awkwardness is discouraging!

 

[Lewis]

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway." [mother theresa]

"every day I put love on the line; There's nothing I am less good at. I am far better in competition than in love; far better at responding to my own instincts to get ahead, than at figuring out how to love another. I'm schooled and trained in getting my own way. And yet I decide every day to set aside what I do best, and attempt to do what I do very clumsily - open myself to the frustrations and failures of loving, daring to believe that failing in love is better than succeeding in pride". [Eugene Peterson]

 

[Psychedelicious]

Yes, this happens to me a lot too. I'll try to be nice but it dosen't seem to get me anywhere and I've gotten some awkward stares before at this. It happens to me with any emotion really, I just don't know the right way to express it, and just end up looking like an idiot who dosen't even care at all.

 

[maggie]

Ive seen that a lot of my social awkwardness comes from going out of my way to be nice to people. I;ll try to be kind and generous and people will look at me either suspiciously or confused and Ill stumble over myself.

it sucks because here I am trying to be a nice person and I end up making myself look like a fool!

has anyone else experienced this??

i do, i tend to go out of my way to help others, cause it makes me feel good, like i've accomplished something..even if i look uncomfortable doing it. Like, the other day in the grocery store, an older lady was looking for some kind of canned jam or something, and she toppled over a whole display of canned stuff to the floor..and she couldn't bend over to pick it up...and you wouldnt believe the people who saw this..and carry on their merry way..walking by her like they didn't notice :evil: Turns out she's losing her sight and couldn't see what she was looking for I did stop, even though i could feel my anxiety creeping up and washing over me...well worth it though :wink: