Does your fear ever seem almost palpable?

[rko74]

Today at work for some reason i felt a real sense of dread and could almost feel my fear as palpable.I think this is coming from the fact of always thinking i have to make conversation with my co workers.Then on the other hand if i dont make conversation they will think im a anti social snob asshole.Like for example when i take my cart to the cooler in the back, i pass one of my co workers and get quite uncomfortable inside myself.What do i say etc, do i make eye contact, do i look down at the floor.Also when im in the cooler and a co worker is in there with me, i feel pressured to make conversation and when i do it comes out all so marbly mouthed and the person has to ask me pardon me.Even saying hi to people who work there is difficult, its like a constant struggle iternally to converse.Does anyone have any advice for me?

 

[maggie]

Today at work for some reason i felt a real sense of dread and could almost feel my fear as palpable.I think this is coming from the fact of always thinking i have to make conversation with my co workers.Then on the other hand if i dont make conversation they will think im a anti social snob asshole.Like for example when i take my cart to the cooler in the back, i pass one of my co workers and get quite uncomfortable inside myself.What do i say etc, do i make eye contact, do i look down at the floor.Also when im in the cooler and a co worker is in there with me, i feel pressured to make conversation and when i do it comes out all so marbly mouthed and the person has to ask me pardon me.Even saying hi to people who work there is difficult, its like a constant struggle iternally to converse.Does anyone have any advice for me?

hi rko74..i go through the same thing at work...and yeah, i think it's better for you to force yourself to make conversation with your co-workers..if you can...even if it comes out "marbly mouthed" as you say...or feels awkward..i always feel like it's less awkward if i'm working in close quarters with someone...(which is always :evil ....if there is some conversation and not total silence. Sometimes i just ask them questions about themselves, then they can ramble on for a while..and i can just listen :wink:

 

[Jack-B]

Rko74,

Why are you worried what they think?

They probably think you're a really cool guy, so give up trying to second guess what people think about you.

In general, what people think is momentary, fleeting, one minute they will like you, then next they will dislike something you do, all because that's their mind changing constantly, so cease worrying about what they think. If you notice these thoughts, stop listening to them immediately.

You probably have many conversations that are the same, because you would rather keep it short or avoid it. So, get good at the same conversation and build from there, your confidence will improve.

Make eye contact, be warm and remember that when the mind of anxiety is present it distorts our way of viewing the world, especially of our self, so dont be too hard on your self, it takes practice but you will get there.

Jack